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The SmarK Rant for Pro Wrestling This Week – 03.07.87

By Scott Keith on 19 May 2024

The SmarK Rant for Pro Wrestling This Week – 03.07.87

Your hosts are Joe Pedicino & Gordon Solie

First up, we’re off to World Class with a weird match…

David Manning v. Gary Hart

Yes, it’s an epic clash of manager v. referee, and we’re joined with Hart working Manning over on the mat with holds. Manning fights back and slugs away in the corner, so Gary bails to the floor and grabs the microphone, hitting David in the head to take over again. Hart with a clothesline for two, but he picks Manning up. So then Hart throws the actual referee out of the ring in disgust, but the mysterious Red River Jack runs in and slams Hart with the referee out, and Manning comes off the top with a splash for the pin.

Gary Hart joins Bill Mercer for an interview later, and David Manning comes out and doesn’t deny the interference from the unknown Red River Jack, but points out that Gary Hart hit him with a microphone first. Hart: “I wish it was a hammer so that I wouldn’t have to look at your face anymore.” Oh damn that’s a cold line. So Gary challenges the ref to a rematch, with only one stipulation: No Red River Jack in the building. Manning is fine with this, and Gary tells him that “I’m gonna slap your face until your nose bleeds”. This was actually a hell of a promo battle.

Mat Classic: Gil Guerrero v. Abdullah the Butcher

This is apparently from Detroit’s Bigtime Wrestling in 1971 but it looks later than that. Butcher headbutts him to the floor and JJ Dillon throws him back in the ring and Abby gets some karate shots to the throat and chokes him out on the ropes. Butcher with an elbow, which the announcer calls the Sudanese Meat Cleaver, but Abby picks him up at two, drops another elbow, and takes the pin this time. Not really much of a “classic” here, just an Butcher squash with Dillon looking like he’s doing an impression of Pretty Boy Bobby Heenan.

To Portland now…

Sky High Lee v. Mike Miller

As we covered last time, Sky High Lee is the rookie version of Tyler Mane, aka Nitron/Big Sky. Joined with Miller necking Lee on the top rope and rolling him up for two before going to a facelock. Lee reverses him to a cradle, but Miller gets two off that. So Lee hiptosses him out of the corner for the pin and he looks like he’s about to have a heart attack and/or pass out due to lack of oxygen. Really bad.

Pro Wrestling Illustrated, with Craig Peters this time. This week, we have ratings for top 10 women and World Class.

First up, the Top 10 Women:

  1. Misty Blue Simmes
  2. Sherri Martel
  3. Fabulous Moolah
  4. Linda Dallas
  5. Leilani Kai
  6. Wendi Richter
  7. Velvet Mcintyre
  8. Candi Devine
  9. Judy Martin
  10. Kat LeRoux

That’s uh, quite the list of women. I don’t know how you possibly can rank Wendi Richter in a top 10 list of anything in 1987, but really it was a different, simpler, time anyway and we didn’t know that women could also do wrestling and apparently had the right to vote and stuff. So you go, Linda Dallas, whoever the hell you are!

Speaking of Dallas, it’s World Class Top 10 time.

  1. Kevin Von Erich
  2. Dingo Warrior
  3. Lance Von Erich
  4. Tony Atlas
  5. Brian Adias
  6. Black Bart
  7. Mike Von Erich
  8. Red River Jack
  9. Steve Simpson
  10. Abdullah the Butcher

BWAHAHAHAHAHA. Lance Von Erich?

Also Bill Apter has an editorial against the Freebirds, accusing them of being SLEAZE because Terry Gordy declined the Most Improved award for 1986 after 13,000 fans voted for him.

To the UWF, via MUSIC, as we get a video package about the UWF World tag team title tournament set to Eye of the Tiger. This includes the angle with Iceman Parsons getting sick of Chris Adams and his goodie two-shoes attitude and turning on him and then beating up Chris’s replacement partner Savannah Jack, leaving a finals of Sting & Rick Steiner v. Adams & Terry Taylor, as the babyfaces triumph and win the titles. Seemed like a good tournament.

Michael Hayes joins us with Sunshine and Buddy Roberts, from some kind of fan convention in Atlanta. Sunshine is just drunk off her ass and starts making kissy face with Hayes as they cut away. Well that was…something.

Off to Continental for the feature match…

Continental tag team titles: The Nightmares v. Dirty White Boy & Jerry Stubbs

Joined with Ken Wayne working on Tony Anthony’s arm on the mat, but DWB tosses him and Stubbs gets some cheapshots on the outside. Stubbs was the frequent partner of Arn Anderson in the territory, arguably more well known as the masked Mr. Olympia. It was kind of a superhero deal where he’d don the mask and become a virtuous babyface, but then go back to being a heel when he was unmasked again. The heels double-team Wayne in the corner and we take a break, and return with Danny Davis getting the hot tag. Stubbs charges and lands on the timekeeper’s table at ringside. Davis with a tombstone on Anthony, but Stubbs recovers and comes off the top rope with a forearm behind the ref’s back, putting the White Boy on top for the pin and the titles.

WWF Ring Report: It’s WRESTLEMANIA III coming up, as Joe runs down the card thus far, including Roddy Piper v. Adrian Adonis in a hair v. hair match, plus the Bulldogs & Tito Santana v. The Hart Foundation & Tito Santana. And then we get actual WWF footage, as Mean Gene announces that we’re also getting Jake Roberts v. Honky Tonk Man. And then we also get footage of the contract signing between Hulk and Andre, as a coked up Hogan snaps at Heenan and Andre just calmly signs the contract. And then we get a WWF match!

Honky Tonk Man v. Jerry Monte

Man they must have finally made a deal with Pedicino, and we get a quick squash as Honky wins with the Shake Rattle & Roll.

To Memphis now…

Jerry Lawler v. Boy Tony

Memphis, always on the cutting edge of pop culture, has a Boy George themed heel via Tony Falk. Lawler drops fists on Tony, but Tony gets a cheapshot and Downtown Bruno chokes Lawler out. But then Lawler quickly makes the comeback and pulls down the strap, slugging Tony down in the corner until Bruno trips him up. So Lawler goes out and takes care of Bruno, and then flips in to finish with a sunset flip.

To Puerto Rico…

TNT the Ninja v. Steve Blackman

TNT is of course a young and thin Savio Vega, and Blackman is a young and roided up version of the guy we would later know as Steve Blackman in the WWF. Basically Blackman was on the WWF radar and got a tryout, but suddenly came down with malaria and was essentially bed-ridden for the better part of a decade and couldn’t wrestle again until he came to the WWF for real in 1997. TNT with a superkick and he finishes with a cobra sleeper. And then his manager, the masked Professor, covers up Blackman’s head with a cloth and TNT reaches under the sheet and does something mysterious to revive him. Insert jokes here.

To the Deep South…

Grizzly Boone v. Mike Golden

Joined with Boone making a comeback and hitting Golden with a back elbow, but Golden bails to the floor and his manager goes after Boone to distract him. So Grizzly chases her into the ring and gives her a forced kiss until the Nightmares run in for the DQ. Somewhat notably, Nick Patrick is doing commentary here, so I’m assuming he was involved in the ownership of the promotion somehow.

And with that, they abruptly end the show without even going back for final thoughts from Joe & Gordon. Man, we got Steve Blackman in 1987 when he was all yoked up, that’s worth a watch this week, I’d say.