The SmarK Rant for Pro Wrestling This Week – 02.14.87

The SmarK Rant for Pro Wrestling This Week – 02.14.87

It’s a very special Valentine’s Day episode!

Your hosts are Gordon Solie & Joe Pedicino

First up, it’s off to Memphis!

The Fabulous Ones v. The Sheepherders

We’ve got footage from the Mid-South Coliseum, as the Fabs hit them with double piledrivers, and Stan Lane goes to burn the New Zealand flag, but the Sheepherders get REALLY triggered by this for some weird reason and attack. We’re clipped to Luke beating the hell out of Stan on the floor and dropping a table on him, and then back in the ring for a PIER SIX BRAWL, and finally Butch hits Steve Keirn with a baseball bat and that’s what draws a DQ after all the previous craziness was apparently OK. But then the Sheepherders go for the kill on Keirn, and Stan jumps them from behind and rams their heads together to make the save, and Steve gets the bat and chases them to the back. This was pretty goddamn awesome even in the clipped form we got.

Mat Classic: Gino Garibaldi v. Danny McShane

From 1955 and we’re tied at 1 fall each in Hollywood. The Mat Classic segments always come from the California promotion, which leads me to wonder if all the footage is still around somewhere on a YouTube channel or something. Joined with Gino working a wristlock on the mat, but he puts his knee on McShane’s throat and the ref forces a break. So they slug it out and collide for a double down, but McShane boots him over and falls on top for the pin.

Next up, we go to the UWF, where our hosts are confused about the tag team title tournament situation, where a team that wasn’t even entered in the tournament ended up as the champions. But they’re gonna show us that NEXT WEEK. Damn you teases. I think that’s where Sting & Rick Steiner won the titles as an odd couple team if I’m not mistaken.

Dr. Death Steve Williams v. The Angel of Death

Joined with Angel putting the boots to Steve, but Doc makes the comeback and slugs away in the corner before putting him down with shoulderblocks. German suplex gets the pin off that.

Michael Hayes joins us for PS Rumors this week. Michael refutes all the accusations levied by Bill Apter, such as PS standing for “purely sleazy” and Buddy Roberts liking Gerry Brown as a partner more than Hayes. And for the topper, he notes that Bill Mulkey married one of Apter’s ugly sisters. Huge if true.

To the AWA for the feature match:

AWA World tag team title: Buddy Rose & Doug Somers v. The Midnight Rockers

Joined with Shawn getting double-teamed in the heel corner, and Rose puts him down with a superplex for two. Somers beats him down and drops a knee for two, and Rose adds a backbreaker for two. Rose with a backdrop and elbow for two. Finally Shawn catches Somers with his head down and makes the hot tag to Marty and he’s a house of fire! Double superkick on Rose and they hit Somers with the ROCKERPLEX and the Rockers finally win the tag team titles after months of chasing them. And then Vince poached them soon after.

Off to World Class…

Matt Borne & Percy Pringle v. Tony Atlas

Atlas controls Borne with armdrags, so Borne retreats to discuss strategy with Percy in the corner. The announcer has the same joke I would make, as he thinks the strategy is “I’ll do stuff and you hide behind the post.” Atlas overpowers Borne, so Percy boldly challenges Atlas to a fight and Tony has a look of disbelief on his face. Borne puts him down with a kneelift and beats him down in the corner, allowing Pringle to get some choking, which he immediately denies. So Atlas is tied up in the ropes, but Percy makes the mistake of coming into the match and Tony promptly escapes the ropes, slams Percy, and pins him to win the match. So then Pringle and Borne double-team Tony in the corner with brass knuckles, but referee David Manning slugs Percy and sends him flying out of the ring in a funny bump to make the save. That was very entertaining.

Gary Hart joins us to deny interfering in the Abdullah v. Brody cage match recently, despite supposed evidence of video footage, newspapers and everyone who saw the match. Anyway, Brody got screwed in a loser leaves Texas match and he’s gone, but apparently Red River Jack might be coming to avenge him.

Off to Continental…

We pick things up this week in the aftermath of a cage match with Kevin Sullivan and the Headhunters taking on the Stud Stable, and after the finish it turns into a massacre by the heels, with Buddy Landel joining in, but powerlifter Doug Furnas makes his debut and rips the door off the cage to make the save, beating up all the heels by himself.

Off to Portland…

Abudda Dein, Mike Miller & Rip Oliver v. Coco Samoa, Sky High Lee & Ricky Santana

Samoa gets triple-teamed in the heel corner, but Samoa gets a rollup on Oliver for the first fall. Second fall, and Samoa gets worked over in the corner, and Rip gets revenge with a thumb to the throat for the second fall. Last fall sees Dein quickly toss sand at the babyfaces and get DQ’d. Nothing much notable here other than Sky High Lee, who was a very very young Tyler Mane (Big Sky / NItron / Sabretooth in the X-Men movies). Abbuda Dein was someone who also played a version of Prince Iaukea, trying to cash in on the Curtis Iaukea name, and in fact he had some matches in WCW at the very tail end of his career, as the masked Cheetah Kid, taking on the other guy who went by Prince Iaukea. And of course neither was actually related to Iaukea at all. Because wrestling is weird.

The WWF Ring Report!

Spicy happenings this week, as the Hart Foundation won the tag team titles from the British Bulldogs thanks to nefarious referee Danny Davis. Also, Andre and Hulk have a showdown on Piper’s Pit, where Andre presents new manager Bobby Heenan, setting up the title match at Wrestlemania III. And then Joe wraps it up with the biggest happening of all: OUTBACK JACK FINALLY DEBUTS AFTER MONTHS OF VIGNETTES!

Meanwhile, Peter King, who is supposedly the “publisher” of PWI and is covering while Bill Apter is on assignment, presents this week’s PWI ratings reports. This must be a made up character played by an actor because Stanley Weston was the actual publisher of the Apter mags. Anyway, this week it’s the Top 10 Most Popular!

1. Hulk Hogan
2. Barry Windham
3. Nikita Koloff
4. Ricky Steamboat
5. Dusty Rhodes
6. Steve Williams
7. Kevin Von Erich
8. Ted Dibiase
9. Jimmy Snuka
10. Ronnie Garvin

WCW Top 10!

I guess that was PWI’s way of designating Jim Crockett Promotions at the time since “NWA” was technically a bunch of other territories.

Oh no…did someone say WCW Top 10…?

Warning: The WCW Top 10 may cause severe existential dread, an overwhelming sense of emptiness, and an inexplicable desire to ponder the futility of human existence. Users may experience prolonged periods of apathy, detachment from reality, and an inability to experience joy. Consult your physician if you experience thoughts of nihilism, a loss of will to live, or an inclination to compose bleak poetry. The WCW Top 10 is not recommended for those with a zest for life or a desire to engage with the world around them. The WCW Top 10: Because sometimes, it’s easier not to feel.

1. Nikita Koloff
2. Tully Blanchard
3. Lex Luger
4. Dusty Rhodes
5. Barry Windham
6. Brad Armstrong
7. Jimmy Garvin
8. Arn Anderson
9. Tim Horner
10. Vladimir Petrov

Well that is certainly a list of people with numbers from 1-10 in front of them. You can’t deny that.

And finally, Peter has an editorial about how the Bulldogs are getting COVERED UP by the WWF, who have refused to disclose Dynamite Kid’s serious back injury suffered in December and instead just teamed up Davey Boy with random partners without advertising it. We have the right to know! Interesting, since we as fans, for the most part, didn’t find out until years later just how serious Kid’s situation was at the time.

Off to Japan for the international segment of the week…

Bull Nakano v. Noriyo Tateno

Bull throws Tateno around and chokes her out on the ropes. I’m not sure where this comes from, since it’s got English commentary but it’s All Japan Women. Tateno makes a comeback with dropkicks but Bull is in the ropes, so Tateno goes up and misses a flying legdrop, allowing Bull to use the nunchuks for some damage. Tateno comes back with a sunset flip out of nowhere, however, and gets the pin.

And finally, the Wrestler of the Week can only be one choice: The Midnight Rockers, the newly crowned AWA tag team champions.

OK I may have overstated the Valentine’s Day influence on this show, in that there wasn’t any. But still a very fun week of wrestling history.