The SmarK Rant for More WWE Network Hidden Gems

The SmarK Rant for More WWE Network Hidden Gems

The discussion on Texas Championship Wrestling yesterday and the re-emergence of the Hidden Gems collection led to some people emailing me about stuff on the Vault channel as well, which as it turns out I had already reviewed on Hidden Gems previously because they’ve kind of been recycling some stuff. I of course would NEVER. So here’s a selection of some stuff from Hidden Gems that I previously reviewed and people forgot about it.

First up, a selection of stuff on there from the 80s…

Since it’s just a combination of “stuff’, we’ll give it either a point if it’s worth your time, or no point if it’s not.

“Youth of a Nation”

From WWF TV in 1984, Bob Backlund presents two pre-teen kids from his wrestling class, who get to do an exhibition. Unfortunately neither kid went on to be a pro wrestler as far as I know, because that would make this pretty mind-blowing. But no, instead it’s just an amateur match between two kids, and there’s no angle or anything. I’m sure Terry Garvin would give it a point, but not me. 0 for 1.

“A Diaper for Cornette”

Bill Watts & “Stagger Lee” v. The Midnight Express (1984)

From Mid-South’s “Last Stampede” show in New Orleans in 1984, recorded for TV without commentary. This is one of the numerous blowoffs for the Cornette v. Watts feud at the time, this one featuring Junkyard Dog under a mask. They actually drew 25,000 people to the Superdome, an amazing crowd. Watts immediately cleans house on the Midnights as they go flying like ping pong balls with every punch and Eaton is immediately bleeding. This leads to a funny spot where he staggers into the wrong corner, tags JYD, and steps onto the apron for a rest only to get punched in the face again and go flying into the railing. Finally the poor Midnights manage to cheat and hit Watts from behind, and Condrey beats on him in the corner and HOLY SHITBALLS is this crowd going to murder the Midnight Express soon. Watts basically lays there and sells while Eaton and Condrey hit him with simple stomps and the crowd is just in a murderous rage. Condrey and Eaton take turns with chinlocks, and Watts fights out and gets put down again each time as the crowd gets madder and madder. Finally, Watts collides with Condrey and they do the false tag deal, allowing Cornette to come in and hit Watts with the tennis racket. Stagger Lee comes in anyway and powerslams Eaton behind the ref’s back, so Eaton hits him with the racket and both guys are out. Watts throws powder at the groggy Eaton, however, and powerslams him for the pin at 12:30. And the crowd goes APESHIT. I mean, you would not believe the reaction. And as a result of the stips, poor James E. Cornette is beat up by the babyfaces, stripped to his underwear, and made to wear a diaper. The heat for this whole thing was INSANE and it’s all well worth watching to see what old school crowds used to respond to, even if the match was technically crap. 1 for 2.

“Blood and Guts”

UWF World title tournament finals: Terry Gordy v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

From May 1986, this is of course the finals of the first ever UWF title tournament, and One Man Gang comes out and cuts an angry promo on Duggan because he wasn’t invited, which prompts a brawl between them that goes very, very badly for Duggan. Duggan was previously beaten and bloodied in the semi-finals, and Gang posts him again to split him open. Wisely, the Freebirds just hang out and chill while Gang and Duggan beat the hell out of each other. Finally Duggan is literally unconscious and bleeding, so Joel Watts goes “Well, he can have five minutes to recover and then we’re gonna continue.” Holy shit, they should show this at the concussion trials. So Duggan gets bandaged up and then heads out after his five minutes, slugging away on Gordy (this is intercut with a promo he did later explaining his situation) until Gordy shoulderblocks him to the apron and Hayes sends him into the railing. Because it’s not enough that he’s already half-dead, the Freebirds have to cheat as well. We don’t get the finish from TV, but it’s more about Duggan’s promo. 2 for 3.

“Cowboy Justice”

More from the UWF in 86, as Eddie Gilbert rants about Bill Watts running off his Russian goof and Blade Runner Rock, leaving Watts to wrestle Sting (the last guy in Gilbert’s stable) tonight. And if Watts wins, he gets 5:00 with Gilbert.

Cowboy Bill Watts v. Sting

Watts quickly gets Sting tied in the ropes and pounds on him, then powerslams him for the pin at 1:38. So after that complete squash, he proceeds to beat the hell out of Gilbert and whip him with his belt until Gilbert is bleeding all over the place. The Freebirds come in for the save and Watts is fighting off five people before they finally turn the tide and mug him, leaving Watts to suffer to the dreaded ORIENTAL SPIKE from Terry Gordy. Good old school heat here. 3 for 4.

“A Texas Sized Confrontation”

Bruiser Brody v. Abdullah the Butcher

From the Mesquite Arena in Texas in July of 1987, Brody quickly storms down and beats on the Butcher, but he quickly gets bitten and busted open and they’re both bleeding all over. Butcher drops the big elbow, but only gets two. And then they go brawling into the crowd, into the actual dirt portion of the rodeo setup, and Butcher wisely retreats while Brody yells at him in the ring. Nothing to this one. 3 for 5.

“The Best of Both Worlds”

The British Bulldogs v. The Rock N Roll Express

This from AWA TV in February of 1989, shortly after the Bulldogs left the WWF, although the match itself is from the weird co-promoted All Japan / Bob Geigel show that didn’t really have anything to do with the AWA outside of the ring itself. We’re joined in progress WAAAAAAAAAY long into the match, with Davey Boy working on Morton’s arm and you can actually hear the original Japanese commentary recorded underneath the Gagnes’ version. Davey Boy misses a flying kneedrop, and Robert makes the hot tag and runs wild with slams and backdrops on the Bulldogs. Morton and Smith brawl on the floor, and back in Ricky gets a piledriver for two. Double dropkick on Smith only gets two, and Gibson gets a backslide for two. Both guys try a dropkick and miss, and they trade cradles until time expires at 6:27 shown. The actual match was something like a 40:00 draw and said to be really disappointing. I have to give this a point just for the “This actually happened?!” factor, though. 4 for 5. Extra credit for the post-match promo from Badd Company, with Pat Tanaka sounding like a surfer dude.

“Controvery in the Cage”

PWF World title: Dusty Rhodes v. Big Steel Man

So this is a cage match from Dusty’s PWF promotion, where he’s the champion of course, and Fred Ottman is his latest attempt at recreating Big Bubba Rogers. We’re joined in progress, as Dusty hits Steel with an elbow off the top, goes low, and runs him into the cage a few times to bust him open. Dusty then gets bearhugged, but elbows out and the ref is bumped. Because it’s a Dusty Rhodes match in a steel cage. Dusty drops the big elbow but there’s no ref, so Humperdink comes into the cage to interfere (because, again, Dusty Rhodes) and DDP also comes in and uses an ether-soaked towel to put Dusty out, resulting in Big Steel Man winning the title. BUT WAIT. It turns out that the title is vacated instead because a second referee saw the interference. All of this is shocking to you, I’m sure. 4 for 6.

Moving on to WCW and beyond…

“Of Monsters and Icons”

Sting v. Bruiser Mastino

From WCW Saturday Night in March 1993, Mastino is the very young and very green Glen Jacobs, fresh off his run in the USWA as the Christmas Creature. Frankly I’m shocked he didn’t get a job looking like he did. Mastino manages to get a couple of shots on Sting, and a slam, but Sting no-sells it and gets his own. Bruiser pounds away in the corner, but Sting gives him the turnbuckles, hits the Stinger splash, and finishes with the Scorpion at 2:55. Just a squash, but the craziness of Sting squashing Kane is good enough for a point. 1 for 1.

“The Bad Guy in ECW”

Scott Hall v. Justin Credible

Talk about a weird mix of eras. This is from late era ECW, November 2000, complete with melodramatic TV-MA warning beforehand. This is some kind of dark match from a TV taping, so we get a crawl warning us that there’s no commentary. I don’t even pretend to know what was going on with Hall’s career that he ended up doing an ECW shot while still employed by WCW. Hall takes Justin down and slaps him around while Francine clarifies to the referee that she’s not going to show the crowd her tits. Yeah, I can see where the TV-MA rating came from. Hall gets a chokeslam and clowns around, and a clothesline out of the corner gets two. Francine hits him with the cane and Justin takes over and yells at the crowd a lot. A chair to the head gets two and Justin grabs a sleeper. Even the ECW mutants are turning on the match at this point. Hall fights out, so Francine just comes in and canes him. They head to the floor for more sloppy brawling, and back in Hall gets the blockbuster slam for two, but Francine breaks it up again. So Hall gives her a wedgie and hits Credible with the Outsider Edge for the pin at 9:23. Suffice it to say, Hall looked HORRIBLE here. 1 for 2.

“The Destroyer and the Fallen Angel”

UPW heavyweight title: Chris Daniels v. Samoa Joe

From March 2001 on what looks like a B&W TV signal from the 70s, Joe is very young with very blond hair, and Daniels has…hair? Joined in progress with Joe trying a couple of leglocks, but the ref gets bumped and Daniels hits the Angels Wings, with no ref. So another wrestler runs in and makes the count, fooling Daniels into thinking he’s won, and Joe finishes him with an Emerald Frosion to win the title at 2:30 shown. Both guys would end up in the new “Ring of Honor” promotion the next year and take off from there. As a bonus we get a promo from new champion Joe, looking like he’s 18 years old at the time. Actually, he’s 38 now, so that’s not far off. 1 for 3.

“A Battle from Down Under”

WWE World title: The Rock v. Brock Lesnar v. HHH

This is from the Australian “Global Warning” show in August 2002 that I’ve got somewhere in my DVD collection but I’ve never watched. And it’s apparently a sellout of 56,000 people in Melbourne Stadium, too. Rock and HHH get rid of Brock to start and HHH quickly turns on him and pounds away in the corner, but Rock makes the comeback and slugs both guys down. HHH gives Rock a facebuster and Brock clotheslines him, which gives HHH two. And Michael Cole rightly questions why Brock would put up with that crap from HHH. Today, fuhgeddaboutit. Rock fights back again and Brock puts him down with a clothesline, but Rock backdrops him to the floor and then chases a manic Heyman around the ring, right into a HHH cheapshot. Back in, HHH takes over on Brock, but Brock uses some clubbing forearms until he runs into a high knee. Rock comes back in, but gets caught with a neckbreaker from HHH that gets two. Spinebuster gets two. Rock breaks it up with a neckbreaker on HHH, and that gets two. HHH tries for the Pedigree on Brock, but he backdrops out and clotheslines HHH out of the ring. He throws Rock around with a suplex and posts HHH to get rid of him. Then it’s time for the HULKBUSTING BEARHUG, the move that killed off Hulkamania for good, according to Tazz here. Well, racism and Gawker also helped, I guess. Rock fights out and walks into an F5, but he lands on his feet and makes the comeback with a DDT for two. Sharpshooter, but HHH breaks it up while bleeding from the post spot. KICK WHAM PEDIGREE for the Rock gets two, but Brock makes the save. F5 on HHHgets two, but now Rock saves. Spinebuster and People’s Elbow for Brock, but that only gets two. Rock stops to punch Heyman in the face, but walks into an F5 as a result, and that gets two, as HHH saves this time. Pedigree on Brock gets two. He tries one on Rock, but Rock counters with Rock Bottom to retain at 14:35. Started slow and awkward with all the punching and switching off, but it got awesome once they just decided to go balls-out with the finishers and saves. I’d go ***3/4 on it, and it’s an easy point. 2 for 4.

“Hellllooo, Punk!”

Val Venis v. CM Punk

From Sunday Night Heat in 2005, as Punk is “currently in the ring” at this point in WWE career. They trade armdrags as Coach relates the little information he knows about this “CM Punk” kid, who has apparently made a good name for himself on the independent scene. They do a stalemate and Val offers a handshake, so Punk clobbers him from behind and goes to work on the leg. Val fights back with chops, so Punk bails and posts the knee. Coach: “Well, you know, Punk is a lot more seasoned than the other guys you haven’t heard of before here on Heat…” Val catches him with a kneelift and makes the comeback with a clothesline and backdrop while selling the knee. Neckbreaker gets two. Blue Thunder Bomb gets two. He tries the fisherman’s suplex, but the knee gives out and Punk goes back to it again with a half-crab. Val actually has to power to the ropes, and counters Punk with a uranage before going up with the Money Shot at 6:35. Hell of a TV match, actually, and an easy point. 3 for 5.

“On the Fringe”

MNM v. Jon Moxley & Brad Taylor

This is a squash from Velocity in January 2006, notable of course because Moxley went on to become Dean Ambrose. Moxley tries a wristlock on Nitro and the jobbers manage to double-team him in their corner for a bit, but Taylor gets dumped like yesterday’s trash the tag champs take over. Man, MNM should have had way more legs than they did, it was a hot act and they were great workers. Mercury drops an elbow on Taylor for two. Nitro comes in with the breakdance legdrop and he goes to a chinlock, but Taylor manages to fight out and makes the jobber version of a hot tag to Moxley. He immediately gets creamed, doing a ragdoll sell, and the Snapshot finishes him at 5:08. Moxley was barely even in this one. 3 for 6.

“Who is Better?”

Antonio Cesaro v. Seth Rollins

From the pre-TV version of NXT, December 2011 (???). I guess this would be the last remnant of the FCW version of developmental? It’s branded NXT and it appears to be Full Sail, but a very very very open arena concept, with only a couple of rows of bleachers and no ramp or seats in the aisle. Plus the lighting is weird, as the arena is super-brightly lit and almost oversaturated with color. Cesaro cuts off Seth’s hyperactive flurry and hits him with a suplex for two, then tosses him onto the top rope for two. Rollins makes the comeback with a suplex out of the corner, but the Blackout misses, so he monkey-flips Cesaro over the top rope and follows with a dive. Back in, the Blackout gets two, but Cesaro hits him with the Swiss Death forearm to finish at 5:18. Now I’m really bothered, because this is branded as NXT and is from the NXT TV show, but it’s apparently six months before the show even debuted! Anyway, the match was OK. 3 for 7. A quick bit of investigation and it looks like this was from tapings they did in December of 2011, which sounds like it was intended as a pilot for NXT using FCW wrestlers, and was never picked up because they decided to drastically retool the show first. I seem to vaguely recall something about that back in the day.

“The Young and Hungry”

Also from NXT, May 2013, as Ryback stops by for a dark segment, before Enzo and Cass interrupt. Enzo (clean-shaven and looking like a college student) does the whole spiel and no one knows what he’s talking about. Cass does a whole bit about how Ryback is hungry, so they’ll go get some food and he proceeds to name a bunch of food until Ryback finally declares that their parents were obviously brother and sister because they’re such idiots. I feel the same way about Enzo most of the time, Big Guy. So then they stand there plotting their attack and arguing over who’s going to give the “1, 2, 3” before they attack, and Ryback casually destroys Cass on 3, leaving Enzo to take everything back and hug him in desperation because he needs a ride back to Jersey. That of course does not end well for him. I guess this was supposed to make Ryback a heel, but Enzo was so annoying I find it hard to blame him. 3 for 8.

I don’t know how much of this stuff exactly is still left in the Network’s Hidden Gems section, but I think a good chunk of it is still there. And hopefully that’s a good sign that it’s all moving over to Netflix in January, too!