The SmarK Rant for Memphis Wrestling – 06.28.86

The SmarK Rant for Memphis Wrestling – 06.28.86

Taped from Memphis, TN

Your hosts are Lance Russell & Dave Brown

Larry Sharpe interrupts the opening spiel and Lance notes that he’s new here and might not know about cues, but Larry is too excited and has to introduce us to his newest find: BAM BAM BIGELOW, the Beast from the East! But Lance tells him that it’ll have to wait until later and sends him away.

Akio Sato & Tarzan Goto join Lance, and they’re the International tag team champions and they’ve got the trophies to prove it.

Akio Sato & Tarzan Goto v. David Haskins & Tracy Smothers

Sato chops Tracy down and Goto comes in with headbutts and drops a knee on him. Smothers fights back on Sato, but Sato whips him into the corner and slams him for two. Goto cuts off a tag attempt and puts him down with a back elbow for two. Tracy comes back again on Sato, but misses a blind charge and Sato puts him down with a forearm off the middle rope. Goto beats on him with chops, but Tracy finally gets the tag to David Haskins, and Sato quickly superkicks Haskins while Goto holds him, and that finishes at 3:40. Good squash for the Japanese team.

Larry Sharpe joins us again and he’s pretty sure Jerry Lawler is gonna see Bam Bam Bigelow and all the fans are gonna whine WHAT’S JERRY GONNA DO and the answer is NOTHING, JERRY LAWLER CAN DO NOTHING against Bam Bam Bigelow. And Larry is gonna steal the Jerry Lawler Show while Bam Bam peels Lawler off the mat after squashing him like a grape.

Bam Bam Bigelow v. Keith Eric & Mike Murphy

They actually play the JAWS theme during the entire match while Bigelow destroys the geeks, hitting Murphy with slams and dropping elbows on him, and he goes up and finishes Murphy with the NUCLEAR SPLASH, although that’s a DQ because you can’t come off the top rope in Memphis. Reminder, destroying two human beings is fine, but doing it from an elevated position violates standards & practices.

Jerry Lawler joins us after checking on the jobber, but Larry Sharpe interrupts him and tells the fans to send their flowers to Lawler right now because he won’t be able to appreciate them when they’re done. “We don’t care about wins and losses, we care about DESTRUCTION! Did Godzilla care about wins or losses?” This guy is great. So then Lawler talks about this “Dennis Corraluzzo” guy that Sharpe keeps name-dropping, and we get footage from his Dundee feud and it turns out Dennis is Bill Dundee’s lawyer. Jerry talks about all the big fat monsters who have tried and failed to run him out of Memphis, like King Kong Bundy and Hulk Hogan, but no one has succeeded and Bigelow won’t be the first or the last. This whole thing was a great piece of business.

Meanwhile, at the Mid-South Coliseum, Buddy Landel faces Flame in the most unlikely tournament finals ever and regains the Southern title by pinning Flame’s partner Fire after a heel switcheroo. But then they throw fire at him, as you do in Memphis, and beat him down until Austin Idol makes the save.

JD Costello joins us with Fire & Flame, as I guess they’re transitioning away from the Mod Squad now and going with the new team. I’ll miss them, they were good Memphis heels.

The Mod Squad & Fire & Flame v. The Beach Boys & Benny Trailer & Jerry Garmin

The Squad have now lost the tag team titles to Jerry Lawler & Giant Hillbilly and would presumably be moved down next, although it looks like they stuck around until September. The Beach Boys appear to have reached the end of their brief push, as Van Van Van Van Van Horne gets worked over by the heels and then so does John Stewart. Guess his ring is out of charge. F&F with a double backdrop on Stewart and he gets hung in the Tree of Woe and beaten down further. But then Flame goes into his pants and he’s playing with something in his crotch for an uncomfortable amount of time, apparently loading up a fireball. Yeah, that’s what his lawyer said at the hearing afterwards, I guess. Also if he had flash paper in his crotch it would bring new meaning to “fireballs” if he wasn’t careful. But before he can light the fire, Buddy Landel hits the ring and makes the save, marking our second DQ of the show.

Buddy Landel joins Lance afterwards and he’s gonna take out the JD Dynasty one by one, with help from Austin Idol.

Paul Diamond & Dutch Mantel v. Rough & Ready

Diamond is falling fully into his Commando cosplay. I believe Rough & Ready are the masked team who were given the unfortunate name of the Dirty Black Boys last week and have thankfully gone into a new direction. Diamond hits Rough with slams and drops a knee on him, and then dropkicks him. Over to Dutch and he goes for the mask, so the heels regroup on the floor and it’s over to Ready. The babyfaces keep going for the masks but can’t get them off, and Mantel comes off the middle rope with a double axehandle and a slam for two. Also I love that the team name is “Rough and Ready” and that’s because their names are literally “Rough” and “Ready”. Prime Memphis. Diamond finishes Ready with a superkick at 4:38.

Paul Diamond joins Lance to talk about his problems with Jos LeDuc, but a deranged Jos pushes the backdrop over behind him and accepts Paul’s challenge to a dog collar match via an unhinged promo about how Paul isn’t a man. But the crowd gets on Leduc while Diamond eggs him on in the ring, and then Jos turns around and leaves despite his anger.

The Nightmares v. Pat Tanaka & Tracy Smothers

We get a karate showdown between Tanaka and Ken Wayne and Pat wins that one, and it’s over to Danny Davis. Tracy comes in and dropkicks Davis before going to an armbar to take over. Wayne hits a gourdbuster and beats on the ribs to get the heat on Tracy, but Smothers fights back with airtime running short and gets a sunset flip for one. Nightmares double-team him again and Davis hits a tombstone into Wayne’s flying legdrop to finish at 3:54 and WE ARE OUTTA HERE for the week.

Holy crap that Bigelow segment was all gold and I really loved the Leduc-Diamond stuff as well. Quality TV again this week.