The SmarK Rant for Memphis Wrestling – 04.05.86

The SmarK Rant for Memphis Wrestling – 04.05.86

Taped from Memphis, TN

Your hosts are Lance Russell & Dave Brown

BREAKING NEWS: Billy Travis has beaten Abdul Gaddafi to win the International title, and the Mod Squad have won the Southern tag team titles. So Eddie Marlin joins us right away, with footage of last week’s show where Bill & Budro get involved against Lance and Dundee SLAPS him. So Marlin announces that they’ve been fined $1000 each (or about 50 paydays in Memphis) and if they ever touch Lance again they’ll be fired.

Memphis Vice joins us and they don’t want to talk about Billy Travis, and they’re gonna go beat up some geeks to show they mean business.

The Memphis Vice v Keith Eric & Jim Jamison

Man I love that they’re doing on-screen graphics now. Jerry Bryant tries to hiptoss Jamison out of the corner and that gets reversed on him and he goes flying across the ring. So Winston comes in and makes the mistake of pointing to his head to indicate intelligence, at which point Jamison takes him down with a headlock to prove him wrong. Keith Eric comes in and slugs on Winston, but he quickly gets trapped in the Vice corner and double-teamed. Bryant with a nice powerslam and Winston slugs Eric down while Lance references Burma Shave signs with respect to the writing on the tights. The Vice hit a version of the Hart Attack and Winston goes up with a flying elbow, and then Bryan hits a sling blade to finish at 3:50.

Billy Travis joins us with his newly won International title, which he won with help from Frank Morrell and Phil Hickerson to offset the heel interference. And then before he can even do his promo, Abdul Gaddafi runs in and lays him out with a garbage can and Lance is like “Come on, Khadafi!”. You tell him, Lance.

Meanwhile, we learn that this week’s big Mid-South / Evansville card is a TEXAS DEATH ELIMINATION TAG MATCH with Lawler & Mantel v. Bill & Budro. Dundee promises that they’re gonna beat Lawler so badly that he’ll voluntarily leave town on his own this time.

Bill & Budro join us and Lance won’t even go interview them, instead pointing at the microphone so they do their own interviewing. So then Bill goes to the back and produces his own announce desk, marking the proud debut of THE BILL AND BUDDY SHOW! Dundee plays the timekeeper in place of Dave Brown.

Jos LeDuc v. Bill Garmin & Benny Trailer

Jos plows into Garmin to start and slugs him down while Bill & Budro take over on commentary. “That was a judo chop, Budro” notes Dundee while Buddy is amazed that people get paid to do this job. LeDuc with the dropkick and he pounds on Trailer before choking him out. Apparently LeDuc would kill his own mother for a quarter, but Buddy offers to do it cheaper if needed. LeDuc with a bearhug, but Garmin breaks it up and the jobbers double-team Jos, which only angers him more. LeDuc clears the ring and Buddy claims “there ain’t a Canook alive that can top the Nature Boy” while LeDuc tosses Garmin over the top onto his partner, and Dundee decides to ring the bell because LeDuc is kicking their ass too much. The ref claims that it’s an over the top DQ, and Buddy sends out the paramedics to “sweep up the puke from the floor”.

Back from the break, and Bill doesn’t want to run with the format sheet because it’s Jerry Lawler up next and that disgusts him. But then the producer tells him he has no choice because it’s paid for already, so we get a commercial for the Jerry Lawler’s Greatest Hits tape that I reviewed last year. Then we return with Bill & Buddy asleep at the desk, and Dundee has to ring the bell to wake themselves up. Buddy: “I hope they give out No Doze when they sell those things.”

Jerry Lawler & Dutch Mantel v. Pat Rose & Bill Rose

Pat gets a hiptoss on Lawler, and Lawler responds with his own while Bill & Buddy scream about pulling tights from the desk. Pat backdrops Lawler out of the corner, so Lawler responds with his own, and it’s over to Bill Rose. Lawler gets a punch from the floor and brings in Dutch while Bill & Budro yell from the desk about all the cheating going on, and pledge that they’d make it right if they weren’t wearing $500 suits that they can’t get dirty. The Roses try to double-team Lawler and that backfires on them, so they bail to the floor and discuss it while Bill & Buddy continue their accusations of cheating and malfeasance. Lawler and Mantel double-team Pat in their corner, but then they leave the ring and head to the back, which gives the Roses the countout win at 4:40. But the faces return with chairs and smash the Bill & Buddy Show set to pieces, and that’s $10 in lumber that Jerry Jarrett won’t ever get back. And with the announce gig done with, everyone brawls in the ring and the babyfaces tear up the $500 suits and they do a dressing room clearing fight until finally chasing off the heels.

The Mod Squad v. David Johnson & Henry Rutledge

The Mods double-team Johnson with chinlocks and JD stops by the desk with a Cornette line, noting that Johnson “goes through life pushing doors marked Pull”. Over to Rutledge and he gets double-teamed and beaten down in the corner. Spike with an elbow and they contine their lengthy beating with not much interesting going on. Double-team slam and Basher goes to an armbar before finally pinning him with an elbowdrop at 6:49. Even Dave and Lance complain that they took forever to win the match. Afterwards, JD Costello produces a newspaper with a headline declaring that the Mod Squad wins the titles and the Fantastics are chicken. And indeed the Fantastics left the territory and moved to the UWF in time for some banger matches in the first Crockett Cup. Anyway, Lance Russell points out that they’ll have to face the awesome team (cough) of Paul Diamond & Michael Lee next.

Tony Falk wants to know why Jackie Fargo won’t answer his challenge. Also that punk kid referee Jeff Jarrett.

Tony Falk & The Destroyer v. Paul Diamond & Michael Lee

Lance also calls the masked guy “The Masked Patriot” so he’s extra mysterious apparently. The babyfaces double-team Falk and it’s over to the Patriot, and he doesn’t’ do much better as they do generic babyface stuff. Diamond with a legdrop for one. Back to Falk and Diamond does some armdrags to control as Lee gets two off that. Back to the Patriot, but Diamond superkicks him and pins him as we are OUTTA TIME to end the show. Lee and Diamond look like a super-generic Can-Am Connection out there, although Diamond would find a personality later on.

The BILL AND BUDDY SHOW baby! More classic tomfoolery from the territory that delivers it consistently and thoroughly.