The SmarK Rant for Memphis Wrestling – 03.29.86

The SmarK Rant for Memphis Wrestling – 03.29.86

I had mentioned giving up on these because of not much support for them, but a few people really wanted more of the BILL AND BUDRO SHOW, so let’s try it again after taking a few months off. I think I may have missed a week but we’ll catch up anyway if so.

Also remember in the Observer Flashback how Dave commented about the Lawler & Mantel v. Bill & Budro match selling out the Mid-South Coliseum and how you should have seen the TV show that led to it? I think this is the show, maybe?

Taped from Memphis TN

Your hosts are Lance Russell & Dave Brown

Dutch Mantel v. Keith Eric

Yay! Nice big graphics overlaid now with the jobber name! Dutch works the arm to start and ties up the jobber on the mat, then drops knees on the shoulder. Eric tries to fight back in the corner, but Dutch catches him with his head down and plows into him with a lariat to finish at 2:35.

Memphis Vice v. Benny Trailer & Jerry Garman

Lou Winston gets dominated with armdrags by Garman, but Trailer comes in and Lou takes him down before Benny hits him with a dropkick and he runs away. Over to Jerry Bryant, and Trailer works a headlock on him before Bryant slugs him down. So I’m guessing that they were “Memphis Vice” because they were a white guy and a black guy who looked vaguely like two people not entirely unlike Don Johnson & Philip Michael Thomas? Because that’s right on point for Memphis. Garman manages to get a tag and immediately gets clotheslined by Bryant and pinned by Winston at 4:20. Both these teams were pretty bad.

Meanwhile, Lance runs down the Evanville action upcoming, and we learn that the Mod Squad have indeed won the tag team titles from the Fantastics. And Bill Dundee does a coked up promo ahead of the Texas Death match against Lawler & Mantel that will main event.

Meanwhile, Dirty Rhodes is playing guitar somewhere in the farmland, and he does a strangely effective babyface promo here after months of being a heel, talking about how his mother contracted MS and can no longer speak to him, but still enjoys listening to him play the guitar. That’s a somewhat bizarre character change from his usual “evil Dusty Rhodes” personality. Worked really well too, he was really likeable here.

Jos LeDuc joins Lance at the desk and he’s still out of his goddamn mind, of course. And we can all sit on our couch and get fat, because no one is man enough to stick their nose into his affairs. He uses an axe, you see, and he’s pretty sure Dirty Rhodes isn’t man enough to face him. Ah, there we go, that’s why they turned him, they needed a babyface for LeDuc to dismantle. Also Jos would like to stress very much that HE’S NOT CRAZY. And no one should bring it up.

Jos LeDuc v. Henry Rutlege

LeDuc runs this poor bastard into the turnbuckles as the announcers are like “Yeah this kid is dead meat” and the jobber fights back, but LeDuc just stands there and then beats him down and follows with a backbreaker. Lariat finishes at 1:27 and Lance is just happy that the kid made it out without permanent disfigurement. This man is a national treasure.

Meanwhile, Frank Morrell and his new protégé Billy Travis discuss why Frank threw in the towel to save Billy against Abdul Khadafi last week. Billy wouldn’t have given up to the devastating arm submission after getting injured, and Billy does a crying babyface promo talking about how his father died and he needs the help of the fans to beat Khadafi in the rematch.

Bill Dundee & Buddy Landel v. Frank Morrell & David Haskins

Morell, looking 150 years old by this point and probably not far off in reality, attacks Dundee and throws him around the ring, but he stupidly tags in jobber David Haskins and the heels quickly trap him in the corner and destroy him. Dundee with a vicious clothesline and Buddy chinlocks him, and then Bill comes in with his own facelock. They gleefully switch off and put the boots to the guy and Lance is so tempted to just reach over and ring the bell himself to save the kid, but won’t do it because it’s not his position to do so. Dundee comes flying off the top rope with a knee behind the ref’s back and Morell can take no more, but Buddy drops the corkscrew elbow on Haskins and finishes him with the figure-four at 4:14. Lance is just so hot that he wants to get a gun and chase after those guys!

Afterwards, Lance even refuses to interview the heels because he hates them so much, so Bill does his own interview. Bill threatens everyone with a discrimination lawsuit and claims that Memphis is conspiring against him, especially punk kid referee Jeff Jarrett and “some drunk stumble-bum named Jackie Fargo”. They’ve beaten everyone up and Budro is great! Lance disgustedly tells them to wrap it up and leave, but Bill refuses, so Lance goes over there and tells them to TELL THE TRUTH and admit that they’ve lost every match to Lawler & Mantel and they’re just lying about it. Dundee gets really offended and tells Lance NOT TO SAY THEY LOST or else. Lance isn’t having it and tells them again THEY LOST, so Bill slaps the taste out of his mouth, and then runs away as Lawler and Mantel chase them off. YOU DO NOT MESS WITH LANCE RUSSELL! This would have had a modern crowd chanting “You Fucked Up!” at Dundee after that misstep.

I mean, to be fair, Dundee did warn him.

Billy Travis v. The Invader

Lance is off trying to cool off in the back after eating shit from Bill Dundee, so Dave Brown calls it solo like a trooper. Travis takes him down and works a chinlock, and then slams the masked man and finishes with a middle rope legdrop at 2:21.

Tony Falk joins Lance, who refuses to be run off the show by those scumbags, and Tony wants a piece of Jackie Fargo and that punk kid Jeff Jarrett. In fact, Falk wants to wrestle Jeff Jarrett when the kid finally debuts! And next, he’s guaranteed his first victory because he’s facing an even bigger jobber!

Tony Falk v. Jim Jamison

Falk boots Jamison in the corner and hits him with a clothesline before dropping a knee for two, but he picks up Jamison so he can inflict more punishment. The announcers note that this is a bold strategy for someone with a total of zero victories for his career. Falk with a chinlock, still fully confident in his chances, and he gets a neckbreaker for two, but picks him up again. Oh this isn’t gonna go well for him. Backdrop and an elbowdrop gets two, but he picks up Jamison for the THIRD time and Lance is pretty sure this is gonna backfire on him. Falk cradles for two and picks him up for a fourth time, but then decides to go to the top rope, but loses his balance and falls off, knocking himself out on the mat, and Jamison pins him at 3:17. This was a tremendously entertaining squash with a fun story.

Meanwhile, Lawler and Mantel are sick of Bill & Budro, just like everyone else, and they’re gonna get rid of them in the Texas Death match once and for all. The rest of the card sounds like hot garbage but that main event was probably awesome. Dutch compares it to when “the Japs bombed Pearl Harbour in 1941” in terms of historical scope.

Meanwhile, Lance chats with young Paul Diamond, new into the territory, and apparently he’s had problems with the speed and the mary jane, which cost him wins because his head wasn’t in the game and lost to guys he should have beaten. Diamond was barely a rookie at this point, and man he got to an elite level in a HURRY considering the matches he was having against the Rockers just two years after this in the AWA. I’m assuming because he was able to get clean and stop smoking the ganja.

The Mod Squad v. Paul Diamond & Michael Lee

Basher trades shoulderblocks with Diamond and works the arm, and then brings in Lee for more generic babyface stuff to control. But then Lee gets caught in the corner and double-teamed, and Basher gets a powerslam for two. The Squad takes turns slamming Lee, but Diamond dropkicks them over and Lee falls on top of Basher for the pin at 4:00 to win the first fall. This actually set up a title match on the circuit, as we’re out of time and thus they win the match.

I don’t know if you can tell, but I love this show. Just in case I wasn’t clear on that.