The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 08.13.91

The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 08.13.91

Last week’s episode was pleasantly stupid so let’s carry on with the other half of the second round in the tag team tournament. I still have absolutely no idea who’s winning this thing either.

Taped from the infamous GLOBALDOME in Dallas, TX

Your hosts are Craig Johnson & Scott Hudson

The Royal Family joins Joe, and Joe accuses of them of being MAULERS because they like to hurt people.

GWF tag team title tournament round 2: Rip Rogers & Scott Anthony v. Chaz & Joel Deaton

Billy Black is out with an injured knee after round one, so Chaz gets subbed in, and that’s a weird fit. Scotty spends a lot of time swivelling his hips because he’s the Palm Beach Heartthrob, and that’s what heartthrobs do in Palm Beach, apparently. Deaton takes him down and chases him to the floor while the announcers put Anthony over as being a “dead ringer” for actor Richard Tyson, who had a bit of a hit with Two Moon Junction at the time. I checked IMDB and…maybe? I’ll allow it, I guess. Chaz comes in and works the arm on Rogers while the announcers note that the area is under a tornado watch and it might affect the signal. I mean, the show was taped about a month beforehand so I don’t think that’s exactly accurate, but weather can be mysterious. Deaton takes Rogers down and grinds on the arm and Chaz comes in for the double-team and it’s FULL ARMDRAGS AND TWISTS as far as the eye can see. Even a hurricane warning can’t stop them from working the arm! And we take a break and return with Chaz still working the arm before hitting a bodypress on Rip for two. Back to the Heartthrob, although some people call him the American Gigolo, apparently. I don’t know who these people are, but they’re OUT THERE. The question of course is whether anyone calls him the Space Cowboy and/or the Gangster of Love. Back to Deaton and he’s also working the arm on the Gigolo Hearthrob, but Chaz comes in and gets tossed to the floor to allow the Cartel to take over. Rip drops an elbow and the heels double-team Chaz in the corner and put the boots to him, and then Anthony does an unlikely dive onto Chaz outside before Rip beats on Chaz further with chops out there. Back in the ring, Scotty gets a snap suplex for two. Deaton gets the hot tag and cleans house with some surprisingly good babyface fire and everyone brawls. But Anthony hits Chaz with a lariat and follows with a piledriver, and that’s all she wrote at 13:53 as the Cartel advances. A shockingly good, basic, tag team affair. **3/4.

The Newsroom! With Joe Pedicino!

The news of the week is that the Patriot received a congratulatory telegram from the White House, because he loves America so much. Not sure how you’d find him. Meanwhile in WCW, Lex Luger and Sting are no longer friends because Lex Luger is being a jerk to him. Also don’t forget Stan Lane beating off Cox last week.

GWF tag team title tournament round 2: Chaz & Terry Garvin v. The Royal Family

Geez I hope Chaz got more than 10 minutes of rest before having to compete in this match. I’m assuming this was taped a different week than the first match of the show, though. Morgan nails Chaz with a clothesline to block a hiptoss, and Victory adds a slam and works the arm. Weirdly, the announcers don’t even bring up Chaz’s involvement in the previous tournament match, so this must have been taped way out of order. And yeah, a quick check reveals that this match was taped on 07.26, and the Cartel match was taped 07.27, so at the time they were recording this match they didn’t know Chaz was going to be subbing for Billy Black. Still makes it sound kind of dumb. Over to Garvin, but Victory quickly cuts off his babyface comeback and drops him on the top rope to take over again. Morgan gets a cheapshot from the apron and Victory bludgeons him down, MAULING him as the kids say, because they’re MAULERS, and they work Garvin over in the corner and take turns putting the boots to him. Victory with a bearhug and Morgan comes in and beats him down to block a sunset flip and then goes to his own bearhug. Rip with the neck vice but Chaz gets the hot tag and gets a bit of jobber offense before trying a bodypress, which Victory catches and turns into a powerslam at 7:49. Extended squash for the Kiwis. ½*.

The Patriot joins Joe, and now we’re hyping the upcoming North American title tournament, despite being the TV champion and not yet defending THAT title. And apparently the winner of THAT tournament gets a shot at the GWF World title whenever that happens.

The Cartel joins Boni, and they note that the Boss will decide what happens if they all happen to be against each other in the finals.

GWF tag team title tournament round 2: Big Bully Busick & Bad News Brown v. The Renegade Warriors

I have to assume the Youngbloods are going all the way to the finals because this tournament is so damn heel heavy otherwise. Oddly the announcers haven’t really discussed who meets whom very much or shown brackets so it’s been kind of hard to follow this tournament overall. The heels toss Mark and Bad News works Chris over and chokes him out on the ropes, and Bad News goes to a chinlock. Once again Johnson shares the tragic backstory of the English Lords getting into a car accident overseas and thus vacating the Global tag team titles, which is why we’re having this tournament. Man, that was a career that ended way too soon. There were so many English Lords dream matches that we never got to see as a result of that accident ending their careers at such a young age. I think they’re running a crypto scam with the Hawk Tuah girl these days. Bully comes in and beats on Chris as this drags on and no one seems particularly motivated. Obviously Bad News is just collecting a payday here and doesn’t give a shit, but that’s part of his charm. Big Bully with a chinlock, but Chris gets a bodypress for two and makes a false tag to his brother while the ref deals with Bad News. So Mark can take no more of this and comes in for the brawl, but Busick hits him with the heart punch to cut him off, but the heels collide and we get a bullshit double pin with Brown pinning Mark while Chris pins Busick, to send the Youngbloods to the next round. The Renegade Warriors got zero offense here as the heels wouldn’t sell anything for them and wouldn’t even do a clean job in losing. DUD

Well you win some, you lose some, and this was not a great week for the tournament. Also I’m not even 100% sure where we’re at with the brackets but I think we’ve got the next round as:

Chris Walker & Steve Simpson v. The Royal Family

The Renegade Warriors v. Scott Anthony & Rip Rogers

Makhan Singh & Cactus Jack v. Mike & Tom Davis

And then the finals from there. I feel like Anthony & Rogers are the obvious winners here but also they kind of need the Renegades in the finals to make it not all heels so I dunno.