The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 08.01.91

The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 08.01.91

Taped from the Globaldome, it’s the finals of the Light Heavyweight title tournament!

Your hosts are Craig Johnson & Scott Hudson

In an epic time waster even by GWF standards, the entire first HALF HOUR of this hour long show is recapping the entire tournament match by match.

So we’re left with Lightning Kid, Jerry Lynn and Steve Simpson, and they all flip coins to determine the bye. All three guys flip tails the first time and Kid declares the other guys to be cheaters, so they do it again and this time Jerry Lynn is the odd man out and he gets a bye to the finals.

THE NEWSROOM! WITH JOE PEDICINO!

Joe announces that the LPWA will present the Super Ladies Showdown on PPV, and indeed that is a thing that happened and it’s actually one of the few PPVs I’ve never reviewed. Joe also announces some teams for the inaugural tag team tournament, like the Renegade Warriors and Royal Family. And Summerslam is coming up in the WWF, and Randy Savage might be getting cold feet? Huge if true.

Boni Blackstone interviews a kid, and he has a question for Makhan Singh: What’s up with the Cartel and who’s the Boss?

Light heavyweight title final #1: The Lightning Kid v. Steve Simpson

Simpson gets a snap suplex for two and goes to guillotine before hitting a jackhammer for two. Steve takes the Kid down and works the arm before switching to a full nelson and then taking him to the mat for the rolling bodyscissors for two. Kid does the classic dizzy sell and stumbles all over the ring, so Simpson grabs another facelock and then drops an elbow for two. Apparently the Kid is a third degree black belt in Thai Kwan Do and Judo and Sambo, which I think might not be entirely truthful but he sure does know how to wave his arms around like he knows martial arts. Simpson with another facelock and he takes Kid out of the corner with a monkey flip, and Kid bails to the floor to escape that. He also makes the fatal error of pointing to his head to indicate intelligence, but he suckers Simpson out to the floor by pretending to go to sleep, and then hits Simpson with a leg lariat on the way back into the ring. Kid goes up and misses a somersault senton, and Steve beats on the back with elbows and gives him a snap suplex to set up a flying bodypress. But Kid rolls through and grabs the tights for the pin, advancing to the final finals in 7:00. Man Kid went out and sold his ass off for Simpson, trying to put him over big in losing. ***

GWF Light heavyweight title: The Lightning Kid v. Jerry Lynn

It’s actually quite a nice belt, looking like the Hogan ’86 belt. Lynn goes after the arm right away and takes him down for a cross armbreaker. Kid escapes from that and makes the ropes to block a hammerlock attempt. Kid with the kicks in the corner, but Lynn takes hm down with a dragon screw and goes to a heel hook, but Kid makes the ropes again. They trade chops and Kid puts him down with a side slam, but he goes up and Lynn trips him up and sends him to the floor. Kid tries to come in and Lynn baseball slides him off the apron and then follows with a dive, but Kid drops him on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. Kid puts Lynn on the stage and goes to the top for an insane flying shoulderbreak to the floor, and then back in for a Romero Special. Lynn escapes and fights back with a flying headscissors, and a clothesline gets two. Lynn chops away on the Kid, but he charges and the Kid hotshots him to lay him out. Kid to the top, but the ref is bumped off the leg lariat. So Kid pulls out a foreign object, knocks Lynn out, and gets the pin and the title at 9:40. Easily the best match in the short history of the promotion so far. ****1/4.

And we finish up with Kid’s victory celebration, as he claims that he was merely adjusting his tights due to looseness after dropping weight for the tournament. And he never lies, or so he says.

Next time: The tag team tournament begins.