The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 07.30.91

The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 07.30.91

My last day of vacation (well for a week) and the light heavyweight title tournament continues unabated with no signs of stopping.

Taped from the GLOBALDOME in Dallas TX, which has been manipulated by AI into making people think it’s just the Sportatorium.

Your hosts are Craig Johnson & Scott Hudson

Iceman Parsons stops by to let us know that he’s here for a reason but not for a season. Ah yes, much like the words of Trooper, who were here for a good time but not a long time.

Everything this week Is the second round of the tournament, just to save me typing it four times. I’m still on vacation for a day!

John Tatum v. Terry Garvin

Tatum, who Hudson describes as “growing fleas out of his chest hair” offers a hug to show his good intentions, but Garvin declines, wisely. So they do the lockup and Tatum gives a clean break and offers another hug, but Garvin still isn’t falling for it. Another lockup and Garvin beats him to the punch and chases Tatum to the floor for some conversation with the crowd. Back in the ring, Garvin offers the handshake of friendship this time and then takes him down with a headlock and they work off that. Garvin with a bodypress for two and Tatum retreats to the floor again as we take a break. Back with Tatum wandering the floor so we can at least guarantee that at least nothing of value was missed during the break. Back in the ring, Tatum finally attacks Garvin in the corner to end his façade of friendship, and puts him down with a karate kick of some sort and follows with a suplex that is also lacking a certain amount of grace. That gets two. Tatum with a chinlock, but Garvin fights out of that and gets tossed over the top rope, which has now been firmly established as not being a DQ anymore. Garvin with a sunset flip for two, but Tatum claps the ears to break. They collide for a double down and Garvin puts him down with a back elbow for two. Garvin slugs away in the corner to make the comeback, but Tatum pulls a giant piece of chain out of his tights and knocks him out for the pin to advance at 11:31. Just a normal, competently worked match. **

THE NEWSROOM! WITH JOE PEDICINO!

Joe talks about the exciting first round, featuring talent like Chaz and the Lightning Kid and big fat John Tatum. Also Joe plugs the impending return of Billy Black, along with partner Joel Deaton, who are currently running through the All Asian tag team tournament in All Japan. Also the debut of Paul Bunyon is impending.

Jerry Lynn v. Terry Daniels

Lynn trades takedowns with Daniels to start and gets a sunset flip for two, but Daniels tries a crossbody and lands on the floor. The announcers discuss Lynn’s record in high school, where he lettered in five different sports at the same time, and note that he likely didn’t have much of a social life. That would check out. Daniels with an abdominal stretch, but Lynn hiptosses him out of the ring to break, and they get into a shoving match on the floor after some early sportsmanship. Back in the ring, Daniels with a backslide for two. They trade hammerlocks and Daniels gets a dropkick and goes to work on the leg with a deathlock. But then Lynn actually powers up and reverses the move, turning it into an STF for some nice mat work. Daniels misses a charge and Lynn finishes with a bodypress at 7:10. They were having a nice match before the abrupt finish. **1/2

John Tatum joins Boni, and the fan question this week is whether or not Tatum is looking for another valet. So he asks people to send him pictures and a resume, and Boni gets all offended because he’s holding auditions during her interview segment.

Adrian Street v. Steve Simpson

Simpson goes for the arm and Street rolls out of it while Hudson references Abe Jacobs, and then Streets gets a leglock and rolls Steve around the ring with it. Winner of this apparently gets Mike Davis as they’re seemingly taping these matches all out of order and assembling it later. They trade arm work and Street takes him down with a crucifix for two, but Simpson gets a rollup for two. Street with La Majastral but Simpson counters that, so Street takes him down with another hold on the mat. Simpson looks like Ultimate Warrior if you poked a hole in his biceps and let all the gas out of his muscles. Steve takes Street down and tries for a Boston crab, but Street does a nice reversal out of that and works Simpson back up and into a bulldog. However, Street hurts his own ribs on the bump and the ref stops the match at 7:45. I’m assuming there some kind of legit injury there but they were having a really tremendously fun European style match before another abrupt finish. ***

And we finish with Christopher Love hyping up the tag team tournament and promising a partner for Randy Rhodes who is just as beautiful as he is. Well always set realistic goals, I say.

Kind of a double edged sword because the wrestling is generally a lot better than the TV title tournament was thus far, but the light heavyweight tournament doesn’t really have any breakout stars or obvious storylines going on and so it feels a lot more dry. Plus they are CLEARLY stretching out the content to fill episodes for this tournament, doing only 3 matches per show instead of 4, and longer recaps at the start. Seems like Lightning Kid and Jerry Lynn are the only obvious finalists but we still need a better hook to keep it interesting. But if you like good, pleasant wrestling matches, this a decent episode for it.