The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 07.25.91

The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 07.25.91

Taped from the Globaldome in Dallas, TX

Your hosts are Craig Johnson & Scott Hudson

It’s the last four matches of the first round of the light heavyweight tournament today.

As usual, the first 10 minutes are a recap of last week’s show.

The Handsome Stranger joins Joe to start, and Joe wants to know the hard questions, like “Why do you wear the mask?” He’s saving it for his wedding night, however, and will not reveal his face here.

Light Heavyweight tournament round one: Jerry Lynn v. Randy Rhodes

Randy Rhodes has a signed affidavit proving that he’s 226 pounds, so he’s in the tournament all nice and legal. But Lynn immediately rolls him up and pins him to advance anyway.

Light Heavyweight tournament round one: Terry Daniels v. Rick Gerren

Daniels is growing his hair out in a very non-Marine style. What a goddamn HIPPIE. Who am I looking at here, Gino Vanelli? They trade some good headlock reversals and Gerren takes him down with a headscissors. Daniels with an armbar and he puts Gerren down with a dropkick and goes to work with a deathlock before going back to the armbar again. Gerren rolls him up for two, but Daniels gets a small package to finish at 6:05. Nice little scientific match here. **1/4

Meanwhile, Joe Pedicino announces that the current Global tag team champions, the ENGLISH LORDS, have been injured in a car accident and are unable to defend their titles, so coincidentally we will crown new champions in a tournament here in the GWF once the light heavyweight tournament has concluded. The English Lords were a criminally underrated team, although they were primarily known for doing a gimmick where they imitated two members of Springsteen’s backup band in Jersey promotions. And then later it turned out that they actually weren’t even human and were just played by four super-intelligent raccoons stacked on top of each other in groups of two, with really convincing makeup. Unfortunately by the time the truth was revealed, they had already raided the garbage cans at the WCW Power Plant and disappeared without being seen again.

Meanwhile, Boni Blackstone talks to a kid who wonders where Chaz learned all his high flying moves from?

Meanwhile, the announcers let us know that the GWF is coming to arenas all across the country! Even to the Sportatorium in Dallas!

Light Heavyweight tournament round one: Kenny the Stinger v. Terry Garvin

Kenny attacks and puts the boots to Garvin, and a powerslam follows. Garvin fights back with a bulldog, but Kenny fights off a DDT and bails while Garvin rallies the crowd. Garvin was such a weird choice for white meat babyface. Back in the ring, Garvin takes him down with a headlock for two and goes to work on the arm. Stinger gets a slam for two and puts the boots to him, but Garvin fights back before missing an elbow. The announcers talk about the “long, grueling match” as we hit the 6:00 mark and I can’t disagree. Stinger clotheslines Garvin over the top rope, but he comes back in and finishes with a DDT at 8:42. Just kind of two fellas having a plodding wrestling match. *

Meanwhile, Chaz shares the origins of his quickness: Running from his (presumably) abusive father, who is much larger than him and used to chase him around the house threatening to whup on him. What a wacky backstory!

Light Heavyweight tournament round one: Kris Ghermany v. John Tatum

Ghermany used to tour doing two gimmicks at the same time, with one being a capitalistic babyface and the other being a communist heel, but got back together a couple of years before this. Tatum lays him out and rakes his face on the top rope, and a snap suplex gets two. Tatum slugs him down in the corner and the announcers bring up Tatum’s problematic past as far as his valets go, which is certainly an understatement. Tatum with a chinlock and he boots Ghermany down, but he goes for a piledriver and Ghermany fights out of that, but Tatum superkicks him and splashes him for the pin at 5:11. Just an extended squash for Tatum.

A very pleasant hour of wrestling, although it’s somewhat annoying that all the storylines set up by the first tournament have been completely dropped while we do a new tournament.