GWF
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The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 07.15.91

By Scott Keith on 14 May 2024

The SmarK Rant for GWF Supercard – 07.15.91

I know Tuesday mornings are usually WCW Nitro 2000 these days, but I’m up to Uncensored 2000 and I’m gonna need a couple of days to prep before I dive headfirst into that one.

For for now, it’s into WEEK TWO of GWF, with the second round of the TV title tournament.

Taped from the GLOBALDOME in Dallas TX

Your hosts are Craig Johnson & Scott Hudson

So here’s our bracket for the second round on this show:

  1. Billy Black v. Randy Rhodes
  2. The Patriot v. Wild Bill Irwin
  3. Makhan Singh v. Terry Garvin
  4. Chris Walker v. Rip Rogers

So once again, the first 10 minutes of the show is a recap of the tournament matches from the previous episode.

Global TV title tournament round two: Billy Black v. Randy Rhodes

Once again, a reminder that Billy Black is the current holder of the Georgia All Star Wrestling National TV title or something. And apparently a Japanese sensation, although people with actual credibility have assured me that, yes, this is actually a real thing that happened. Rhodes works the arm, but Black slugs out of it. They do the test of strength while the announcers put over the Georgia Openweight International title every other sentence. Black with a dropkick and they slug it out, but Black puts him down with a spinkick for two. Rhodes chokes away on the ropes while Scott Hudson talks about how the Patriot never removes his mask under any circumstances. I mean, he was literally on AWA TV a few weeks before this as the Trooper, but it’s a good story. Black hits a superkick out of nowhere and finishes with a moonsault at 6:20. Not too bad! **1/4.

Meanwhile, Chris Walker slips up and talks about being invited to the “two day tournament”, even though it’s supposedly taking place over two or three weeks of TV. KAYFABE.

Global TV title tournament round two: The Patriot v. Wild Bill Irwin

Obviously they wanted the best hands possible to be in there with the Patriot and put him over big, which probably assures Rip Rogers a trip to the finals as well unless they’re just going with the straight “Makhan Singh is the unbeatable heel for Patriot to beat” route instead. We get some stalling from Bill to start, but Patriot slugs him in the corner and gets a couple of slams. Patriot with the headlock and he keeps Irwin on the mat with that while Irwin grabs the tights to reverse for two. “They don’t teach you that in wrestling schools” notes Hudson. “They do teach you that, but only in the schools that charge you double tuition” replies Craig. OK that was a funny line. Patriot sends him into the corner, but misses a blind charge and Wild Bill puts the boots to him and slugs away in the corner. Spinebuster gets one. And the Patriot gets fired up again, goes up, and finishes with the PATRIOT MISSILE at 8:30 to advance to the semi-finals. As expected, Irwin knew what to do with him and this was a good match. ***

NEWS CENTER! The announcers put over Chris Walker and Big Bully Busick and of course RASTA THE VOODOO MON. There’s not really any sort of “news” there.

Boni Blackstone interviews a couple of female fans, who want to know what Axl Rotten’s Commonwealth title is even supposed to be? More importantly, how believable is it that TWO female fans would be in attendance at this show at the same time unless they were paid to be there?

Global TV title tournament round two: Makhan Singh v. Terry Garvin

They’re spelling it “Muckan Singh” which drives me NUTS and I will not dignify it. Garvin goes after the arm while they talk about how Makhan has put on weight since going bad, but in actuality Mike Shaw was looking significantly lighter here than he was as Norman. Garvin tries a dropkick and Makhan no-sells it, so Garvin goes up and Makhan swats him down to counter. What they really need a high flyer like Brian Pillman or Owen Hart to go out and bounce off Makhan because he’s AWESOME at making guys like that look like a million bucks. I wasn’t watching the early stuff but I assume once Lightning Kid gets going we’ll get exactly that. Garvin gets tossed over the top, which is clarified as not being a DQ according to GWF rules. So Makhan slams Garvin onto the stage out there and drops forearms on him. Garvin tries a sunset flip and Makhan sits on him for two. Karachi Krunch finishes at 5:34. Total destruction for Makhan. Yeah I guess they’re sending him to the finals for Patriot to overcome. Makes sense.

Buddy Landel joins us and he sounds a tad medicated and stumbles through his promo about facing Big Bully Busick in the second round.

Axl Rotten addresses the hard-hitting question about the Commonwealth title, and he’s still trying to sound like Will Ospreay, BRUV, assuming Will lived on the East Coast of the US his whole life.

Global TV title tournament round two: Chris Walker v. Rip Rogers

I’ve refrained from commenting on the ESPN commercials contained within this hour thus far, but I should note that the one just before this match was for the TUMMYSIZER, which promises to develop your abs by strapping a vibrating belt around your waist while you sit and watch TV. So clearly we know how Walker got his awesome physique now. Through SCIENCE. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned recently that Rip Rogers should come to AEW and manage the Outrunners, but he really really should. We get a posedown to start and Rip takes control with a hairpull and a cheapshot, but Walker puts him down with a hiptoss. Poor Rip is gonna be working for 17 guys here trying to get something watchable out of this guy. Walker grabs a headlock while we get more discussion of The Boss and how he wants Rip to win the tournament OR ELSE. Walker with a slam, but Rip takes him down and drops an elbow on him, and a hiptoss gets two. Rip puts the boots to Walker for two and “Conan” here trying to sell simple stuff is a sight to behold. He takes bumps like I would after my decades of back pain. Slowly and stiffly. Walker goes up to make a comeback, but Rip crotches him. Luckily the steroids have destroyed Walker’s testicles and he’s impervious to ballshots, and he’s able to finish with a flying bodypress at 6:35 and move onto the semis. Man, Rip sure tried to get a decent match out of him, but Walker is a shitty force of nature that cannot be overcome easily, like a tornado or David Zaslav. *1/2. Regardless, this was decidedly not bad, certainly not as bad as Walker’s first round match, and he’s going to get destroyed by Makhan Singh in the next round I’m pretty sure.

Big Bully Busick joins us to talk steel mills and old timey lingo to wrap up the episode.

I really liked this one! I know it turns to shit once Pedicino’s “funding” turns out to be a Nigerian scam, but I’m mostly into this tournament thus far.