The SmarK Rant for Georgia Championship Wrestling – 11.03.79

The SmarK Rant for Georgia Championship Wrestling – 11.03.79

I’ve got a FEVER! And the only cure is MORE GEORGIA CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING!

The 10/27 episode is only 22 minutes long and seems to be a repeat of what was on the 10/20 episode for some reason so we’ll skip ahead a week.

Taped from Atlanta, GA

Your host is Gordon Solie

Stan Hansen is sick of those Heenan Family creeps and he’ll defend the TV title against any of them. TONIGHT IN THIS VERY RING.

Tommy Rich does a sitdown interview, with a bandage on his pretty face, and we get footage of what apparently happened last week when Rich was defending the Georgia title against Killer Karl Kox. Karl beats Rich down and drops an elbow while Heenan lights up his victory cigar, but Ole Anderson gets rid of Bobby and Tommy cradles Kox for the pin. So the Heenan Family storms the ring and Masked Superstar destroys Ole and rips his shirt off while Rich chokes out Bobby in the corner, but Kox grabs the VICTORY CIGAR and jams it in Tommy’s face. Back with Tommy’s interview, as he dramatically rips off his bandage like Kane pulling off his mask, revealing a blotch of red makeup on his cheek that is supposed to represent a crippling burn I suppose.

Buzz Sawyer v. Bret Hart

Apparently Bret is a second generation wrestler from a “large family”, according to Gordon. I think he’s probably exaggerating about the size of the family. Wrestlers do that a lot, I’ve heard. Buzz takes Bret down and Bret responds with a hiptoss for two. Buzz works the arm and they trade some matwork and battle to a stalemate. Buzz Sawyer, of course well known for being a young technical wrestler with solid mat skills, hits a dropkick on Bret and goes to the armbar on the mat. They trade headlocks as this is pretty slow, and they trade suplexes and collide for a double down. They trade cradles and get nowhere but they’re both scientific so neither one will do anything nefarious to win, and the time limit expires at 10:00. This whole idea of young Buzz Sawyer the scientific prodigy is so hilarious in retrospect.

Bobby Heenan joins Gordon and reminds us all that he’s smarter than everyone and he’s a little embarrassed at how easily he was able to trick Stan Hansen into defending Killer Karl Kox, because Stan is a big dumb hayseed. Yeah I can’t see that backfiring on Bobby at all.

Georgia TV title: Stan Hansen v. Killer Karl Kox

Stan works a headlock on Kox and they do some simple stuff, but Ernie Ladd comes out and steals Stan’s cowboy hat, using it to wipe his boots off, which is very disrespectful to a cowboy. I lived in Alberta for a long time, I know what I’m talking about. You got questions about how to cowboy, throw ‘em at me. I’ve watched every episode of Yellowstone too. So Stan charges out there and attacks for a brawl, and he’s counted out at 4:00, at which point a giant brawl erupts with Tommy Rich hitting the ring and joining into the brawl to get some revenge on Kox. Lost in all this craziness is the fact that the TV title can change hands on a countout, so Kox is the new champion.

Stan Hansen joins us as we’ve jumped to the next week, so I guess the first 15:00 of the show were the missing stuff from the 10/27 episode? So Stan admits that yeah, he got outsmarted by Bobby Heenan’s trap, but now he’s got Ole Anderson as a partner and they’re pretty pissed off. Gordon wonders what Ole is going to do about the tag team title situation that still isn’t resolved, since Ole and Ernie Ladd both hold the tag titles but they hate each other. Ole doesn’t care what the NWA wants to do, he just wants to beat Bobby Heenan’s family up.

Buzz Sawyer v. Len Owens

Some young fans just yell out BOOOOOOOOOOOOO when Owens is introduced. Man that’s cold. Sawyer controls him with armbars on the mat, but Owens gets a cheapshot and then grabs a headlock after pulling the hair. Don’t worry, Buzz, a few more years and that won’t be a problem for you. So Buzz gets all mad, like some kind of animal, and throws a pretty impressive dropkick on Owens before beating him down again. They do a clean break on the ropes but then Buzz just hurks him up and powerslams him for the pin at 6:00. Damn that was a nice powerslam.

Bobby Heenan joins Gordon, still burying Stan Hansen as a big dumb hayseed, and he’s not particularly interested in accepting the challenge from Ole and Stan because Hansen is a big dumb plow boy who isn’t worth his time. Unless they want to make it interesting by putting those tag titles on the line to settle things with Ernie Ladd once and for all. But otherwise, he’s not interested. Also Hansen is a big dumb farmer, he just wants to remind us again.

Tony Atlas v. Carl Fergie

Fergie goes after Tony’s injured knee, but Tony goes for the arm in response and works on that. Atlas slams him to escape the attempts at going after the knee, but Fergie finally gets a shot on the knee and takes him down to work on that. But then Atlas makes the comeback and slugs away before hooking him in the full nelson and puts out the lights at 5:00. Fun match, especially Tony’s exuberant comeback.

Tony Atlas joins Gordon, who is surprised that Tony even wrestled on that bad knee. But Tony lives up to any contract he signs, even though Austin Idol injured him with the figure-four. In fact, he’s not particularly familiar with the figure-four and how to deal with it, but he’s gonna do his research and find out about it. So Tony tells a story about his mother working split shifts to feed her nine kids, and Tony is gonna whup Austin Idol until he’s as black as Tony is!

So then Gordon throws to another older interview he did with Buddy Rogers, who claims to have invented the figure-four leglock. Buddy has been working out with young Austin Idol, and thinks that Idol might be one of the best at applying the hold. Then Buddy has Buzz Sawyer and a jobber in the ring, and he gets Buzz to apply the figure-four so that we can all see the specifics of the move’s pain points.

Back at the studio, Tommy Rich storms in and threatens Killer Karl Kox again, promising to finish the job this Friday night, and after he’s done with Kox he’s got five minutes with Bobby Heenan. I dunno, after all those Kox he might be pretty tired.

Speaking of Bobby Heenan, he sits down with Freddy Miller while Masked Superstar and Killer Karl Kox lurk in the background. Bobby has heard rumors that he’s targeting people to keep them out of championship contention, but those are just rumors.

Ole Anderson and Stan Hansen join Gordon, and they’re gonna put the Georgia tag team titles on the line against Ernie Ladd and a partner of his choice, NEXT WEEK. And Ernie Ladd is gonna be about 3 feet tall after they finish beating him down with brass knuckles.

Ernie Ladd responds to that egg-sucking dog Ole Anderson, who is a thief, and Ernie is gonna beat him like the dog he is. Also Stan Hansen is so dumb that he stayed up all night studying for a blood test. That’s pretty dumb.

Stan Hansen & Ole Anderson v. Jack Fore & Joe Powell

Stan quickly murderalizes Powell and drops elbows on him, and Ole follows with a nice suplex before whipping him into Stan’s lariat to finish at 0:41. That was apparently a personal message for Ernie Ladd in advance of Friday’s show.

Bobby Heenan joins us, and he declares that Ole and Stan have fallen into another one of his traps because they’re both big dumb dummies. Also, since they have a taped fist street fight against Ernie Ladd & Masked Superstar on Friday in Atlanta, they won’t even make it to the title match. Also he promises that he’s gonna fight dirty if Tommy Rich gets five minutes with him.

Sterling Golden v. Marvin Turner

I was wondering when we’d get our Golden fix this week. Golden, with a much more effective red and yellow color scheme this week, quickly hits a backbreaker and then finishes with the GOLDEN SQUEEZE at 0:45, no doubt sending him back to the golden showers.

Sterling Golden is sick of terrible jobbers every week, and he’s not even getting a workout. Which is funny because he sounds like he’s sucking wind after a 40 second match.

Bill Howard v. Louis Haney

This a standby jobber match since we’ve got 4 minutes left in the show and I guess Bobby Heenan has used up his material for the week. Haney works a headlock and Howard gets a cheap elbow in the corner to take over and drops a knee before following with a suplex. Meanwhile, Gordon Solie gets word from Tommy Rich, who will be defending the Georgia title next week, as Howard finishes with a back suplex at 3:00. And then Gordon announces the twist, as Tommy requests that they throw a bunch of names of top heels in a hat and draw an opponent for him. King Kong Mosca! Ox Baker! Karl Kox! Ernie Ladd! Sterling Golden! The Sheik! Ox Baker! Blackjack Lanza!

It’s so weird because the 82 Mid-Atlantic that I was reviewed felt so quaint and primitive, and this stuff from 3 years before that feels exciting and vibrant all the time and I’m not sure why it’s so much better. But it is. WRESTLING IS AWESOME.

Next week we’re not messing around! We’ve got a tag team title match and a Georgia title match! Be there!