The SmarK Rant for Georgia Championship Wrestling – 09.29.79

The SmarK Rant for Georgia Championship Wrestling – 09.29.79

Taped from Atlanta, GA

Your host is Gordon Solie

Ole Anderson & Ernie Ladd v. Chick Donovan & Ted Allen

We’re joined in progress with ol’ Chick getting double-teamed by Ole & Ernie in the corner, as Ladd comes in and slams Chick and goes to a bearhug before beating on him in the corner. Donovan makes a comeback and brings in poor Ted Allen, who immediately gets clobbered by Ole in the heel corner. Into the corner via a hammerlock and Ladd finishes him off with the big boot. I think this was from the end of the previous week’s episode and put at the beginning here for some reason, because right afterwards we get the opening and introduction from Solie at ringside.

Stan Hansen joins Gordon, and he’s unimpressed by some big kid new to the territory. Apparently, get this, the guy’s name is “Sterling Golden”. And he uses the “Golden Squeeze”, which Hansen rightly laughs at because it’s a stupid finisher for a guy with a stupid name who will obviously not amount to anything. I’m 100% confident in that prediction without even seeing this man in the ring or hearing a promo from him. In fact, he’s apparently wrestling tonight, and I’m so confident that he washed out of wrestling that I’ll probably just skip his segment without even watching it to see if I’m right.

Georgia tag team champions Tommy Rich & The Crusher v. Carl Fergie & Rick Oliver

Hot damn, Rich & Crusher won the tag team titles from Ole & Koloff at that Omni show they were pushing last time. Good for them, Crusher was awesome on that show. Oliver gets double-teamed by the babyfaces and Crusher throws him around, and Rich follows with a dropkick for two. Rich with the SUPLAY for two. Fergie comes in and Crusher just runs him over with shoulderblocks, and it’s back to Rich again with not just a slam, but a FULL bodyslam for two. They all slug it out and the heels knock noggins, allowing Rich to finish Oliver with the Thesz Press at 3:30.

Crusher and Tommy join Gordon at the desk and if anyone wants to step up and face them for the titles, it’ll be RAT A TAT TAT for them. And coming up in Atlanta this week, they’ll be defending against the former champions in a 2/3 falls rematch. I think I’m crushing on the Crusher, he’s pretty dreamy.

Bob Armstrong joins Gordon, and we get a tape of last week’s show, where Bobby Heenan comes out and talks shit to Tony Atlas because he’s got all kinds of backup. Atlas has no problem with that because “he likes that Kox”. Good to know. So Bobby agrees to a tag match with himself and Kox, and Atlas just happens to have a contract handy. So Bobby signs it, and Atlas freaks out with delight because what he signed is actually a match against ANDRE THE GIANT. Oh wrestling, you are DELIGHTFUL.

Ricky Fields v. Johnny Nicks

I’m not familiar with Fields, who was hanging out with Tony Atlas in the previous segment, but he looks like the kind of blonde white meat babyface that was big at the time, like Tommy Rich. Apparently his career was extremely short, however, ending shortly into 1980 after only 5 years. Fields controls Nicks on the mat and gets a belly to belly for two and then works the arm before taking him down with a judo throw for two. Fields with a headlock and he puts Nicks down with a kneelift, and then picks him up for another one and finishes with a shoulderbreaker at 4:40. Fields showed some good fire here but wasn’t much different than a million other guys.

Bobby Heenan joins Gordon and he’s offended because Altas pulled a bait and switch on him and made him think that the partner would be Ricky Fields before switching Andre into the match! That is pretty unfair.

Sterling Golden v. Chick Donovan

Sterling offers a $1000 prize to anyone who can break the GOLDEN SQUEEZE, and obviously he’s a big fan of Superstar Billy Graham because he’s doing a sad tribute act. Get your own gimmick, doofus. This Golden kid stands there no-selling Chick’s offense and then hits him with a legdrop after Chick bounces off him, and then follows with a backbreaker for two. Donovan fights back with a dropkick, but Sterling puts him in the GOLDEN SQUEEZE bearhug to finish at 2:20. And then he poses after the match, as if anyone would want to see him posing after his match, like, ever.

Buzz Sawyer joins Gordon and he’s completely unrecognizable with HAIR and no beard.

Tony Atlas v. Jack Fore

I love coked up 70s Atlas. This man used to have some ENERGY. Fore tries a full nelson but Tony easily breaks free like Hercules smashing his chains. The Greek god, not the wrestler. And not the movie version played by the wrestler, who is not to be confused with the wrestler named after the Greek god, the actual Greek god. Altas gets a FULL BODY SLAM on Fore, but Fore gets his own slam and Atlas slugs him down in surprise and follows with a vertical suplex before finishing with a sleeper at 3:00. Gordon warns us youngsters not to ever try that move on any of our little friends because it’s really dangerous. OK, boomer. Luckily Tony revives the guy to avoid permanent damage. See, I would have made sure to do that to anyone that I accidentally put out with a sleeper in the backyard, so it’s fine.

Tony Atlas joins Gordon and although Bobby Heenan has a big mouth, Andre has a big foot and he’s gonna shove it down Bobby’s throat.

Chris Markoff & Sgt. Jacques Goulet v. Ted Allen & Marvin Turner

Wait, why did Renee Goulet become Jacques Goulet? Is he playing his own brother?

BUT FIRST! Gordon tells them to hold up the match so Ole Anderson & Ernie Ladd can stop by and do a promo. Ole bitches about wrestlers calling themselves a champion after one match, when everyone knows it takes an AVERAGE of matches. Which is why Tommy Rich & The Crusher are not legitimate champions, since they only won a single match. Ladd does his impression of the Crusher and then predicts that no man alive can beat him two straight falls. Not sure what happened to Ivan Koloff but Ernie Ladd is fucking awesome anyway.

OK, so now the match can start, and Markoff gladly attacks Allen and bends his neck. Markoff, continuing the grand wrestling tradition of Russians hailing from Minneapolis, appears to be from the golden age of wrestling, before we knew that all Russians were bald with goatees. Sure, Ivan Koloff was around, but we all just assumed that he was the exception. Turner comes in and Markoff whips him into Goulet’s boot in the corner and they trade armbars on him. Goulet hammerlocks him after some heel shenanigans while Solie rants about officials being unable to see all the action. Yeah that’s because they’re all blind, duh. The heels keep switching off with hammerlocks on Turner and finally Turner gives up at 5:40. Look, I don’t want to tell anyone how to do their job, but I feel like Goulet and Markoff were leaving money on the table by not naming their team the SALAD DRESSING CONNECTION.

Still better than Sterling Golden.

Killer Karl Kox v. Jerry Roberts

Kox takes the young kid down and just does a straight choke on him before pounding him with elbows and going to a dragon sleeper, really torturing this poor youngster with a neck vice for good measure. Back to the dragon sleeper, as this guy should probably think about going back to wherever he was announced from and finding a new career. Kox finishes him off with a brainbuster and the episode abruptly ends. I guess this Roberts guy was from Montreal, so maybe he should think about trying something like law enforcement. Maybe join the RCMP, who knows. Maybe just call it a career and join the family business? Well, one thing I can say for certain is that much like Sterling Golden, we’ll never hear from Jerry Roberts again after that performance.

Also, yeah, wrestling is so fun and awesome on so many levels, that you sometimes don’t even fully appreciate until you’re watching some nothing time-filler squash at the end of a territory show, and you Google the teenaged, goofy looking jobber for fun and suddenly go “THAT’S WHO HE WAS?!?”, and shows like this prove it. I just love wrestling and I love this show so much and it makes me so happy to review it for you, and that’s my TED talk for today, thanks for coming.