The SmarK Rant for Georgia Championship Wrestling – 09.15.79

The SmarK Rant for Georgia Championship Wrestling – 09.15.79

Look, I know everyone is clamoring for SMW and I’ll get there, but this has been sitting on the Drive since March just CALLING my name.

Taped from Atlanta, GA

Your host is Gordon Solie

Georgia Heavyweight champion Killer Karl Kox v. Bill Allen

Karl is managed by Pretty Boy Bobby Heenan and I’m sold already. Karl beats Allen down with kneedrops and goes to a chinlock, and then beats on Allen with forearms and follows with a back elbow. Elbowdrop finishes at 2:20.

Bobby Heenan lights up a cigar and joins Gordon at the desk, and brags that he has a whole carload of cigars he’s gonna smoke when his men win matches. Unfortunately he probably came to regret that choice later. But then Gordon throws to Dusty Rhodes, who challenges Kox to a match at the Omni for the Florida (??) title. Dusty seems a little confused there.

Ernie Ladd joins us, threatening Bill Watts in advance of their cage match at the Omni on FRIDAY NIGHT. And then Ole Anderson, with some sweet muttonchops, challenges the Crusher and Tommy Rich and we get an impromptu match.

Ole Anderson & Ivan Koloff v. Tommy Rich & The Crusher

It’s a PIER SIX BRAWL right away and Ernie Ladd joins us on commentary and he’s deeply offended because it’s not wrestling, it’s street brawling! They continue the wild brawl and the heels retreat as the match is thrown out. And apparently they’re having a cage match at the Omni as well.

Blackjack Lanza v. ???

We’re joined in progress with footage from a past episode, and Stan Hansen on commentary sounding very normal and calm at this point. Lanza takes the guy down, and works the arm, and then finishes him with the clawhold at 2:00. And wouldn’t you know, Stan is facing Lanza at the Omni!

Stan Hansen v. Snake Brown

Snake beats on Hansen with shoulderblocks and goes after the arm, but Stan tosses him with a biel and goes to a chinlock. Snake gets more offense in the corner and goes for the arm again, but Hansen beats on him and throws a DROPKICK?!? And the lariat finishes at 3:00. Babyface cowboy Stan is kind of weird and yet I kind of dig it.

Bob Armstrong v. Rip Oliver

But first, Bobby Heenan stops by the desk and visualizes Bob in a full body cast, and then threatens Dusty Rhodes in advance of the Omni show and challenges Bullet Bob to a martial arts match right now instead of the squash match he was about to work. So Bob points out that he’s not a martial arts expert and he doesn’t have a judo jacket, but he’s game for whoever Bobby wants to throw at him. So that’ll happen later on and we get a standby match instead…

Chick Donovan v. Carl Fergie

Fergie was better known as a referee later on in Mid-South and elsewhere, and he works a headlock on Donovan and gets the FULL BODY SLAM for two. Fergie with a facelock, but Chick makes a comeback and Fergie cuts him off and goes to the facelock again. Donovan with a small package for two, but Fergie pounds him on the ropes, so Chick gets another cradle for two. Donovan takes him down with a headscissors to control on the mat, but Fergie makes the ropes. Fergie takes him down with a snapmare for two, but Donovan gets a sunset flip for two and a back elbow for two. But then Fergie catches him with a high knee and gets the pin at 6:00. This was pretty close to Donovan’s debut in the sport, and he’s still going today in his 70s, amazingly.

Bobby Heenan introduces his unnamed martial arts champion, and he’s certainly got the jacket and head gear, so he must be legit. Bobby notes that he doesn’t know as much as Toru Tanaka, but he knows more than Bob Armstrong about karate, so that’s enough.

The Crusher & Tommy Rich join Gordon at the desk and Crusher said he was gonna get dem bums and he lives up to his promises, because his mother was a tornado and his father was a hurricane, so that makes him double dangerous!

Georgia tag team champions Ivan Koloff & Ole Anderson v. a couple of dem bums

Crusher is hilarious on commentary, roasting Ole and making fun of him for not being able to escape a simple armbar on the mat when he learned how to reverse that hold in Kindergarten! Ivan and Ole are gonna get knocked into orbit by the Crusher, apparently, but they keep working on the jobber’s arm. Crusher dismisses the armbars as “goofy holds they’re not gonna have time to do” and then further burns them by calling them “Ole Jerkson and Ivan Dumb-koff”. This man is amazing. I’m 100% convinced that Ole and Ivan have no chance against the Crusher, regardless of who his partner is. One of the bums makes a comeback with a monkey flip, but Ole cuts him off with a suplex and Ivan finishes with a backbreaker at 6:10. “Worst match I ever seen” notes Crusher dismissively. A man after my own cynical heart. I love that he’s such a miserable old curmudgeon that an ARMBAR is something he classifies as a “fancy hold”. 10/10, no notes.

And then we get a replay of the brawl between the two teams from earlier in the show. And then we get an old school promo from Crusher & Rich, with a cage in front of them so they can demonstrate by pushing tomatoes through the fence, and Crusher claims he’s tough because he grew up selling drugs out of his home at 13. “OK then” notes a perfectly calm Gordon Solie, as if this is a perfectly normal thing to say.

Judo Jacket match: Bob Armstrong v. DOCTOR JUDO

The fact that the masked guy has a judo jacket and is thus named Doctor Judo is tremendous. I love wrestling. Bob was never able to find a judo jacket for the match, I should note, so he’s likely at a disadvantage here. The Doctor tries some judo on the ropes, but Bob counters him and grabs a headlock while cutting a promo on Bobby Heenan. Dr. Judo with more judo thrusts, but Bob chops back and puts the boots to him before taking him down with a judo throw. Dr. Judo takes him down and chokes him out with his belt and then goes to a judo nerve hold, but Bob slugs out of that and throws him by the judo jacket before hitting him with a pair of palm strikes and then uses Dr. Judo’s own judo jacket, in stunning judo irony, to put him out with a form of the judo sleeper at 3:50.

And finally, we get a pretaped promo from Bobby Heenan and his new martial arts master, Professor Toru Tanaka, who is apparently even more skilled at the martial arts than Dr. Judo himself! And he breaks some boards to prove his point, using a chop, an elbow and then a headbutt. Bobby offers anyone who has signed contracts with Tanaka the chance to back out now, before they get hurt. And Bob Armstrong has to face him at the Omni this Friday! Bob notes that he’s at least smarter than one of those boards, so he’s got a chance.

Damn now I wanna see that Omni show! Well played, Georgia.

This is GREAT and I will definitely stick with it and review whatever’s on the Drive. I’ve waited forever for someone to dig up Georgia Championship Wrestling and it delivered everything I was wanting and then some.