The SmarK Rant for ECW Wrestling on TNN – 09.22.00

The SmarK Rant for ECW Wrestling on TNN – 09.22.00

Man I can’t deal with WCW 2000 tonight so let’s just inch closer to finishing off ECW 2000 instead.

By this point the show was officially cancelled and WWE had won their lawsuit and was about to debut on TNN. Two episodes left after this one, although this was originally scheduled to be the series finale and everyone including the wrestlers assumed the show was off the air once it was done. But then Vince McMahon apparently relented and allowed the show to go on until the end of the year, or until ECW could figure out their TV situation. Or as it turned out, neither.

Taped from Mississauga, ON, as ECW finally comes to Canada and then goes out of business. Coincidence?

Your hosts are Joey Styles & Joel Gertner. Joel’s Canadian-themed dirty limerick is pretty weak sauce, like watered down American beer, eh?

Jerry Lynn joins us to start, and before we can find out the only one thing he has to say, Justin Credible interrupts. And before we can learn what the only one thing he has to say, Steve Corino interrupts and he’s got way more than only one thing to say as usual. Corino is confident that he can beat either one or both of them tonight, which brings out Spike Dudley for some reason. Apparently Spike is a commissioner tonight for some reason and he makes a three-way dance between the contenders for the World title, complete with a referee who will not allow any shenanigans. But before we can learn who that is, Rhino hits the ring and destroys Spike. So weird to just suddenly have Spike Dudley talking like a normal person and everyone just accepts it. But then we learn that the special referee is New Jack, who hits the ring and destroys Justin Credible with his usual array of weapons. However, Rhino saves his best friend Justin again and they beat New Jack to a pulp and end his refereeing career before it can even begin. He was also supposedly going to referee the PPV main event as well according to Commissioner Spike, but I don’t think that ended up happening.

Meanwhile, on Hardcore TV, Kid Kash defends the TV title against Mikey Whipwreck, but Rhino runs in and spears both guys. Which leads to…

ECW World TV title: Kid Kash v. Rhino

They brawl on the floor and Rhino tosses a chair at him, but Kash hits him with a flying rana back in the ring. Rhino bails to the floor and Kash hits him with a corkscrew dive, just about missing. Back in the ring, Rhino hits him with a short arm clothesline to take over again and then hits him with the spear before spearing him through a table in the corner and pinning him to regain the TV title at 3:30. Find something in your life that you can love as much as Paul Heyman loved putting Rhino over everyone in the promotion. That’s my life advice. And then Rhino calls out RVD in advance of the PPV, and they brawl until officials break them up.

Nova v. Chris Hamrick

Joined with Hamrick in control, but Nova goes for the finisher and Elektra comes in and breaks it up, which prompts Jazz to hit the ring and fight with Elektra. Hamrick puts Nova down with a superkick and goes up to finish, but Nova brings him down with the Kryptonite Krunch for the pin at 1:25 shown. But then Chris Chetti, who has broken up with Nova at some point when I wasn’t watching, hits the ring and destroys Nova, which you would think sets up a match on the PPV but in fact set up nothing. Chetti claims to swing a chair better than anyone in ECW, which brings out Ballz Mahoney to test him. And then the Baldies attack Ballz, but Chilly Willy makes the save and I’m personally hoping for the Megapower-like formation of CHILLY BALLZ but I’m probably gonna be disappointed like with everything else on this show.

ECW World tag team title: The FBI v. Danny Doing & Roadkill

Doring and Guido battle to a stalemate to start, and it’s over to Roadkill, who reverses a headlock from Mamaluke by throwing him out of the ring onto Big Sal. Back in, Mamaluke gets a DDT on Roadkill and tries a victory roll, but Roadkill sits on him for two. Guido comes in with a rollup on Roadkill for two. Roadkill slams him in the corner and drops an elbow as Joey really annoys him with his “Italian whip” and “Amish whip” shit. Doring tries a dive on Mamaluke and misses, allowing the FBI to double-team Roadkill to take over. On the floor, Big Sal lays out Roadkill, but Roadkill makes a comeback in the ring and everyone slugs it out. Big Sal interferes and Guido hits the Sicilian Slice on Doring for two. Doing with the Stroke and it’s back to Roadkill, who runs wild with slams and the Buggy Bang on Guido, but Big Sal takes the ref to break up the pin. FBI double-teams Roadkill, who fights back while Joey continues coming up with stupid names for every little move, like Roadkill punches someone and Joey’s like “He hit them with the CHICKEN PLUCKER!” or whatever. Big Sal comes in and interferes again and gets his shit in on Doring and FBI retain at 10:38. Nothing special. **1/2 This was originally supposed to be a title change at one point because Paul wanted to bounce the tag team titles around a bit to build some interest, but then changed his mind and just had the FBI hold them basically until the end of the promotion instead.

And then get we get the introductions for the three-way World title main event, but SWERVE, it’s actually on next week’s show instead, much to the surprise of everyone in the promotion who wasn’t Paul Heyman and thought this was it. Of course the idea was to allow Paul time to shop for a new TV deal, but TNN then changed their minds again and pulled the plug after two weeks.

Next time: The last two episodes of ECW on TNN as I wrap this thing up once and for all. Really the final one is barely more than a recap of the PPV anyway.