The SmarK Rant for ECW Wrestling on TNN – 08.25.00

The SmarK Rant for ECW Wrestling on TNN – 08.25.00

Taped from the Bingo Hall

Your hosts are Joey Styles & Joel…

Rhino interrupts the dirty limerick and pledges to break RVD’s neck tonight, and Justin Credible promises to put his World title on the line again Rhino if he can accomplish it. Rhino: “I love you man!”

Jerry Lynn v. Bilvis Wesley

So after just doing a promo about Rhino wanting the title shot and doing weeks of build for Kid Kash trying to win the title, they randomly announce in voiceover that Steve Corino will be facing Justin for the title tomorrow night and then Lynn will face the winner of that match at the next PPV. Where did that even come from? It’s not like Lynn has been on a huge winning streak or anything. So before the match, the referee announces that there’s a bounty on Lynn, at which point Rhino runs in and spears Lynn before putting him through a table. So then the match starts and Lynn immediately piledrives the Prodigy, hits another one on Wesley, and then the ref calls for the DQ for hitting him. “We don’t have disqualifications!” complains Joey. Actually they just had a couple of them in previous episodes. But Lynn piledrives the ref and the Prodigette. I guess there was a match in here somewhere?

Psicosis v. Tajiri

Just some highlights from this one, which seems like it was a good match. But it was mostly cut to occasional highspots to show the crowd going crazy and making you want to watch the Hardcore TV version with the full match instead. Tajiri wins with a buzzsaw kick at 6:10 aired.

Meanwhile, Tajiri has his lines dubbed by Sinister Minister, who quotes Spinal Tap, and then Mikey comes in doing an impression of motivational speaker Matt Foley.

Meanwhile, on Hardcore TV, Simon & Swinger & CW Anderson face Danny Doring & Roadkill & Tommy Dreamer. And the match quickly derails with Simon calling for a posedown, at which point Swinger injures himself doing the most muscular and then Roadkill gets his Hogan on. And then we get a montage of more wacky spots and cut to everyone hitting their highspots before Doring finishes Simon with the Buggy Bang.

Rhino & Justin Credible v. Rob Van Dam & Kid Kash

Francine is sporting two shiners after apparently suffering a broken nose the night before. Also, although the graphics and company itself list his name as “Rhino”, he debuts his WWF-styled tights here, which clearly spell it “RHYNO” on the front. Which is weird because I always thought that was just a WWF trademark deal once he signed with them. Kash chases Justin out of the ring with armdrags and it’s over to Rhino, who beats on him in the corner. RVD comes in with a missile dropkick and slugs it out with Rhino, but he walks into a clothesline. Rhino with a press slam, but Kid Kash SWEEPS THE LEG and Rob falls on top for two. The babyfaces clear the ring and Rob hits them with a dive, and then Kash follows with his own. Back in the ring, Justin hits Kash with a superkick and the heels double-team him in the corner. Rhino with a shoulderblock in the corner for two. Justin rams him into a chair for two, but Kash fights back with chops and moonsaults him for one. Back to RVD and he sends Justin into the corner with an atomic drop and dropkicks the chair into his face, and then gets a crucifix on Rhino for two. But then Rhino overpowers the babyfaces again and lays them out, so they regroup with an assisted legdrop from Kash off the top rope for two. Justin goes back to beating on Kash, but Rob puts Justin on his shoulders and Kash comes off the top with a flatliner off Rob’s shoulders that looked like it could have broken Justin’s neck. That only gets two. They need to workshop that kind of shit first. Rob with the frog splash on Rhino, but Justin breaks up the pin with the cane. So Rob goes up again and Justin pushes him into the guardrail this time and tries the piledriver on Kash. Kash reverses to the Moneymaker, but the ref is busy getting speared by Rhino and can’t count. Rhino with his patented piledriver off the apron and through the table to get rid of Kash, but Sandman hits the ring in record time and canes Rhino until Justin saves. And then Steve Corino comes in and superkicks Rhino, setting up the Van Terminator for the pin at 12:56. Good match. ***1/4. Given the immediate direction of the company I would have put Kash over here instead of RVD, though. But really it was all rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic as far as the TNN show was concerned anyway, with only 6 episodes left after this one.

Next time: The tag team title tournament!