The SmarK Rant for ECW Wrestling on TNN – 06.16.00

The SmarK Rant for ECW Wrestling on TNN – 06.16.00

Well with Paul Heyman going into the Hall of Fame, seems like a good time to review some more ECW and witness his genius in action again for another week.

BREAKING NEWS: The Sandman is in the back of an ambulance for some reason. Not like he hasn’t been there before. Come to think of it, I don’t think this was ever explained or followed up for the rest of the episode.

Taped from Pittsburgh, PA

Your hosts are Joey Styles & Joel “Here it is Pittsburgh, here’s the deal. I’m about to tell the Steel City exactly how I feel. This is the city that’s famous for its steel. But I’m famous for cooking up not an appetizer but a seven course meal” Gertner. I’m assuming there was some kind of further dirty limerick that was building to, but Cyrus interrupts before we can reach the climax. As usual, Cyrus calls Joel a ratings killer and notes that wrestling is “show business for ugly people” in a tremendous line. In fact, Cyrus notes, there was a fat kid in school that looked a lot like Joel. And you know what he used to do to that kid? Joel: “You used to suck his dick?” TNN must be loving this episode. I laughed, I admit it. Joel tells Cyrus just to go ahead and fire him, but Cyrus wants an apology. So Joel is sorry that Cyrus has been out here for 8 minutes and his bullshit still isn’t over, and he’s sorry that he’s going to kick Cyrus’s ass. And right on cue, Rhino hits the ring and spears Gertner. And they go after Joey next, but Tommy Dreamer makes the save and fights off 18 heels like Dusty Rhodes until taking a beating and needing RVD to bail him out. So Rob cleans house and then dives onto the heels for good measure as we take a break. This was a hot opening segment but Cyrus NEVER gets any comeuppance and it’s been months now.

Meanwhile, Rhino is salty at Justin Credible for accidentally hitting him with his cane.

Meanwhile, Joel Gertner goes out on a stretcher and Cyrus helpfully tells the EMTs that he’s got a foreign object lodged up his anus.

Kid Kash v. EZ Money

This is the ECW debut for EZ, who made a pretty good name for himself in the dying days. Kash sends him to the floor with a dropkick and follows with a somersault dive and we take a break. Back with Money hitting a sitdown piledriver on Kash, and Chris Hamrick pops in with a legdrop behind the ref’s back for good measure. Money with an inverted DDT for two. Inverted Razor’s Edge gets two. They trade cradles for two and slug it out as Kash makes a comeback, hitting the Moneymaker for the pin at 5:30. Good debut for Money with a lot of unique moves, as I remember enjoying the monkeyshines of the Money-Hamrick team at the time. ***

Afterwards, they go for a beatdown on Kash, but New Jack hits the ring and we do an extended goofy weapons run before finishing with a guitar shot on Hamrick that gives Kash another pin. This didn’t feel necessary.

Meanwhile, the Sinister Minister gives a sermon on censorship, helped by Balls Mahoney, which all leads to the blowjob gag from Police Academy.

Meanwhile, Rhino and Justin Credible continue their beef as Cyrus desperately tries to make peace.

ECW World title: Justin Credible v. Jerry Lynn

Lynn sends him to the floor with a headscissors and runs him into the guardrail and they brawl into the crowd. Justin is already bleeding and they do a walking brawl back to ringside as it looks so indie level when they’re in the wide open convention floor. They desperately need to keep it in the ring and focused on the big crowd opposite the hard cam. Back in the ring, Justin runs him into a chair and follows with a running knee into the corner and a powerbomb for two. Justin takes him down with a chinlock. Lynn fights out and they brawl to the floor, where Lynn hits a pescado, and they fight to the top rope back in the ring, where Lynn gets a top rope rana to put Credible through a table on the floor. Lynn sets up another table in the corner and they fight over that, but Credible gets a superkick for two. Francine takes the ref, but Lynn runs them together and rolls up Justin for two. Justin with the cane for two. Francine throws in a chair and Lynn gets a DDT on that for two. Francine trips up Lynn while the crowd chants “use the table”, apparently not having seen an ECW show before, ever. This brings Jazz to the ring for a brawl with Francine, and she gives Justin a facebuster on the belt and that gets two. And then it’s Network time, as they all run in while Justin hits That’s Incredible for two. Ref gets bumped next and Jerry hits the cradle piledriver for the visual pinfall. And HEEEEEEEEEERE’S Rhino with another run-in, as he spears Lynn through the table and Credible retains at 13:19. Usual good match between these two, although all the interference left it well short of PPV quality. ***1/2

Damn, with a hot crowd and a couple of good matches, this was a really good show for once. Well you know what they say about a broken clock being right twice a day.