The SmarK Rant for ECW Wrestling on TNN – 05.19.00

The SmarK Rant for ECW Wrestling on TNN – 05.19.00

We’re into week #2 now of the categories no longer appearing on the WWE Network, as you have to manually search for whatever show you want to watch unless it’s a featured item on the main page. Nobody seems to know what’s going on with it, which is par for the course with the Network these days. I’m sure they’re not particularly keen on sinking any more resources into it before it shuts down at the end of the year.

The Sinister Minister summarizes Hardcore Heaven for us to start the show. And then Mikey rolls in and he sees dead people. “No Mikey, Brad Siegel hasn’t fired Bischoff and Russo yet…just like Keith Richards, they’re dead but they don’t even know it yet.” Talk about the walking dead calling the kettle black.

We’re joined in progress at the Bingo Hall with Kid Kash pinning newcomer Johnny Swinger with the Moneymaker, which triggers a brawl with Little Guido and a fire-throwing Mikey Whipwreck. This apparently leads to an impromptu match.

Little Guido v. Mikey Whipwreck

They brawl to the floor and Mikey runs him into the railing, and the Minister uses his gross nails to rake Guido’s back. Back in the ring, Guido gets the legdrop and a seated dropkick for two. But then Mikey hits the Whippersnapper for the pin.

Taped from Minneapolis with leftovers from a couple of weeks ago.

Your hosts are Joey Styles & Joel Gertner, although we don’t get an in-ring segment because they’re just doing it in the studio later on.

We get a bunch of PPV recaps to burn up some time, and RVD does a promo complaining that he lost at the PPV and HE DOESN’T DO JOBS.

The Baldies v. Chris Chetti & Nova v. Roadkill & Danny Doring

Before we can get much into the match, Steve Corino invades the announce booth and shows clips of the match with Tajiri because he’s friends with Cyrus. So back in the ring, we get a bunch of chaotic moves and Nova gets pinned after a swanton from Grimes behind the ref’s back. So Nova and Chetti set up a table and put Grimes through that to get revenge, and then Doring pins DeVito to win at 3:37. And we go back to Corino again, showing more clips of the match with Tajiri and complaining about putting put in a fight with a shooter. Absolutely nothing to the match. Oh and then New Jack comes out and brawls with the Baldies for the usual shit we see on every show.

Meanwhile, Jerry Lynn declares himself the real show because he pinned Rob Van Dam at the PPV.

ECW World title: Justin Credible v. Raven

So behind the scenes, things had fallen apart between Heyman and Raven to the point where Heyman was now offering an unconditional release for Raven to get rid of him, making for an impressive TWO major promotions in a one year span that Raven has burned his bridges with. Unfortunately for Raven, he was unable to go anywhere but back to WCW for another few months because he was still technically under contract to WCW following his previous release and was only allowed to leave on the condition that he didn’t go to the WWF. And when you’re such a pain in the ass that even Paul Heyman, who employs NEW JACK mind you, wants you to just go away, you’re likely the problem. Raven slugs away in the corner and Justin takes an ugly bump to the floor, as we take a break and return with Raven putting a traffic cone on Justin’s head in the crowd before heading back into the ring. Justin goes low and runs Raven through a table, and a middle rope elbow gets two. Justin with the MAIN EVENT SLEEPER but Raven escapes with a suplex for the double down. Justin gets another sleeper and then stops to cut a promo on Raven, but Raven kicks a chair back in his face and makes the comeback. Raven with his dumb hankie spot, but Francine hits Raven with the cane and Justin superkicks him for two. Raven goes low and rolls him up for two. But then Justin hits That’s Not Credible for two. Raven runs Justin into Francine for two, but then the ref is bumped and Raven hits the DDT for the visual pinfall. They fight to the apron and Raven sends him back in for the sunset flip, but Justin grabs the ropes and gets the pin to retain at 12:29. This was a lame duck title defense on a lame duck show of leftovers with a lame duck promotion about to get kicked off their own network by the WWF. *1/2.

So, you know, at least things aren’t going THAT badly for Cody by comparison this week.

Anyway, in the category of “things that didn’t age well” to finish off this shitshow, Cyrus does a promo with Rhino talking about how much he hates working with Paul Heyman and looks forward to the WWF taking over the Network, because “Vince McMahon is a saint next to Heyman”.

And we’ll leave it there for this week.