The SmarK Rant for ECW Hardcore TV – 01.03.95

The SmarK Rant for ECW Hardcore TV – 01.03.95

As per the suggestion of Mike Fitzgerald to celebrate my continued association with the WWE Network, although as it turns out, all of 1995 ECW is part of the KrisP drive, and with restored audio no less! So let’s take a swing at that year.

Taped from the Bingo Hall as part of the Holiday Hell show in December.

Your host is Joey Styles

Mikey Whipwreck v. Don E. Allen

Mikey with a legsweep and legdrop for two while we cut back and forth to Joey running down the lineup tonight and discussing Ron Simmons having his shoulder fractured by “Cripplin’ Chris Benoit”. And apparently Steve Richards is having an identity crisis for some reason. Mikey finishes Allen with a bulldog at 1:00 shown.

Meanwhile, we get a video recap of Mikey’s year, and yes indeed, it is set to “Loser” instead of whatever the fake WWE Network version was. Man this is just like the De-Specialized editions of Star Wars. Although in this case, the song is mixed over top of the video, so there’s no audio from the matches shown.

Mikey Whipwreck then joins Joey, who announces that Mikey finished third runner-up for PWI Rookie of the Year, and then we discover that Mikey’s first tag team partner, Paul Lauria, is at ringside with the regulars, and he quickly turns on Mikey and attacks him out of jealousy. And then he introduces Jason as his new manager, and is introduced as “The Giant” Paul Lauria, thus beating Paul Wight to the name by several months.

And after all that we get the intro to the show, with Thunderkiss restored, although again just dubbed over top of the audio instead of mixed in. Honestly I might switch to the WWE Network versions because the audio is way better on those despite all the editing.

Jason joins Joey and takes all the credit for creating the GIANT, Paul Lauria, and Joey thinks that Jason is just jealous of Mikey’s success.

Meanwhile, Sandman and Woman are gonna show their stuff to Cactus Jack when they get to Florida. Also Joey has a mystery opponent for Shane Douglas to defend against on the upcoming Saturday show in Philly and we’re learn by the end of the show.

Meanwhile, the Public Enemy put Paul E. Dangerously through a table as a part of their war with Sabu & Taz, while Cripplin’ Chris Benoit is busy breaking people’s necks. Well that one is a little too on the nose. So he drops Hack Myers on his neck with a suplex and the ref stops the match due to broken neck. So the crowd cheers and chants “Break his neck”. The stretcher takes Hack to the dressing room, but Dean Malenko walks by and kicks it over to be a dick. And then Cripplin’ Chris calls out Sabu and Taz to face them RIGHT NOW, but it’s a trap and their good friends the Public Enemy attack Paul E’s team and everyone brawls on the floor and into the crowd. Interestingly, that was a rather more…normal wrestling angle than you’d usually see on an ECW show. You’d expect later on to see them turn it into an impromptu match and brawl all over the arena, but this was a nice normal pullapart brawl to set up a later match.

Meanwhile, the Public Enemy celebrate their new leather coats, personally delivered by Santa Claus via the store that they robbed on Christmas. And this Saturday, it’s TPE & Benoit & Malenko v. Sabu & Taz & 911 in a handicap match. And Rocco gives us some rap stylings to end things.

ECW World tag team title: The Public Enemy v. Taz & Sabu

This is later in the night at Holiday Hell, after TPE attacked Sabu & Taz, and they’re dressed as Santa because of the season. It remains hilarious to me that Rocco doing his nerdy white guy dancing was so over with the Philly crowds. No wonder the Gangstas ate them alive. Everyone brawls and Sabu hits Grunge with a flip dive while Taz drops Rocco with a Tazplex for two. Clipped to Sabu diving to put Grunge through a table later on, and Taz hits Rocco with a suplex in the ring for two. Clipped again to Sabu hitting Air Sabu on Rocco, and Taz gets two off that. Clipped again to more suplexes on Grunge, but Rock saves with a frying pan, allowing Grunge to beat Taz down with a chair for two. So Rock and Sabu fight into the crowd while Taz suplexes Grunge some more for two. Sabu and Rock return from their fight and Taz, say it with me, suplexes Rock. Sabu goes up with a chair for the Arabian Facebuster, and we’re clipped again to Benoit and Malenko running in now and hitting Sabu with a double DDT and we’re clipped again past whatever the finish was. TPE are double-teaming Taz, but 911 finally makes the save for Paul E, chokeslamming Dean and Grunge and we it leave it there at 8:00 or so shown. I somehow don’t think the full 20:00 match was that great judging by what we got here.

Meanwhile, Paul E. Dangerously promises that ECW will always give the customer their money’s worth, and if you’re not a wrestling fan and you show up this Saturday, you’ll be a wrestling fan because they earn your dollar. And then Paul keeps it and never pays his wrestlers.

Meanwhile, we see the saga of Steve Richards being Stevie Flamingo and then Stevie the Body and then Stevie Polo, although then Tommy Dreamer ends his winning streak and now Stevie promises to produce Johnny Polo next week to avenge him.

ECW World title: Shane Douglas v. Ron Simmons

Ron actually does come out and attacks Shane despite having a broken shoulder and one arm in a sling. So he hits Shane with three clotheslines and gets two, and then sends him to the floor, but Douglas runs the shoulder into the post. Back in, Ron gets pissed and takes his cowboy boot off, hitting Shane for two. But then he misses a charge and runs his shoulder into the corner, allowing Shane to hit him with Ron’s own boot, and then whips Simmons with Ron’s own belt. And he goes to the top, but Ron hits him with the boot on the way down. And then Ron misses another charge and Shane rolls him up for the pin at 4:00 to retain the title. Pretty decent match for Ron literally working with one arm, actually. **1/2.

And then Joey opens the mystery contract and reveals this Saturday, Shane Douglas defends against…Tully Blanchard! Well I’m sure that can’t possibly go wrong.

This was definitely more visually interesting and watchable than the terrible 1994 shows I tried a couple of years back. I can definitely stick with this version of the show, and hey, if I get the desire to review any of those ECW Arena shows, most of them are on the Network, too. Although I think I’m gonna go with the Network versions of the show rather than these “Restored audio” ones because they do a better job of mixing the fake music in and I know what the songs are supposed to be anyway.