The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents WWF’s Most Unbelievable Matches

The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video presents WWF’s Most Unbelievable Matches

Originally written 04.05.26

Never even heard of this one before, but the Vault posted it today and it’s pretty short. Seems 1994ish.

https://youtu.be/rjpFQ7HRZR0?si=uvbQ0N7Wth7ohSj6

Hosted by Paul Bearer

Mabel v. Yokozuna

This looks like a dark match from a Superstars taping on 03.22.94, which would make sense. Joey Marella is the ref so we at least know where it has to fall into, timeframe wise, even if we didn’t have the exact date. We get a long staredown and they do some sumo action before Yoko takes a wacky bump to the floor and runs into the post while stumbling around out there. Back in the ring, Yoko takes out his frustrations on Mabel, but Mabel sends him into the corner and then misses a blind charge. Yoko hits him with the belly to belly and actually sells a back injury from doing the move in a nice touch, but manages to regroup with the Hulkbuster legdrop. But then Mabel pops up and hits him with a clothesline and Taker-breaker legdrop and it’s a double down. Yoko is up first and hits Mabel with a FULL BODY LIFT AND SLAM and they’re both down again, but Yoko can’t drag Mabel to the corner, and Mabel fights back with his own FULL BODY LIFT AND SLAM! Both guys collapse to the floor and the ref counts them both out at 10:55. FOR WHAT IT WAS, this was a legitimately great match with absolutely nuclear crowd heat, but the finish was terrible. ***1/2

Lex Luger v. Rick Martel

From RAW on 03.28.94, two weeks after Wrestlemania X. Martel attacks to start, but Lex slugs him down and hits him with clotheslines to chase him to the floor. Meanwhile, Ted Dibiase is sitting behind Vince and Cornette on commentary in the front row, counting his money. You have to be a Million Dollar Man to afford front row tickets to a WWE show today, so this was actually a terrifying harbinger of things to come. Back in the ring, Lex works a headlock and Vince declares him a HOUSE OF FIRE, which feels premature. Lex grinds on the headlock and Vince calls him a “tremendous mesomorph”, which offends Cornette on grounds of religious freedom. Martel bails to the apron and Lex slingshots him back in and goes back to the headlock, and then clotheslines him back to the floor as cut out a commercial break. Back with them brawling on the floor, but Martel chokes him out on the way into the ring and hits a clothesline out of the corner for two. Martel goes to a chinlock and then cuts off a comeback with a knee to the gut and resumes chinlocking. The crowd chants for the TV network to spur Lex into a comeback, but he misses a dropkick and Martel puts the boots to him and gets a backslide for two. Martel with a suplex, but Lex reverses (I mean, his name is right there in the move!) before Martel goes to the back to cut him off again. Lex tries a rollup and Martel blocks it, but he points to his head to indicate intelligence and that’s his fatal error. Lex makes one more comeback and backdrops him, powerslams him, and puts him away with the torture rack at 11:45 shown here. Hey, this was a good match, too! ***. The Vault nerds need to do a “Best of Rick Martel” mixtape like the Haku/Test ones and pull some hidden gems and Arrogance promos out. It would be kind of awesome.

Randy Savage v. Jerry Lawler

Another dark match here from Superstars, back in 09.28.93, with Lawler stalling on the floor to start, and he manages to sucker Randy to the floor and runs him into the post. We’ve got Gorilla and Johnny Polo on commentary as a bonus, so this could hit **** territory with this combination. Into the ring, Lawler drops a fist on him and chokes him out on the ropes before slugging him down in the corner. He goes to work on Savage and tries to crotch him on the post, but Savage yanks Lawler back into the post and makes the comeback, brawling with him out on the floor and then back in the ring for a double axehandle. But Lawler blocks it with a punch to the gut. He goes for the piledriver, but Savage backdrops out and heads to the top. Lawler decides he’s had enough and rolls away to escape, but he tries to take a walk and Bret chases him back to the ring, and Macho rolls him up for the pin at 6:00. Well that wasn’t exactly the **** match I was hoping for. *1/2

WWF tag team title: The Quebecers v. The Headshrinkers

From RAW of course, 04.26.94. Pierre works a headlock on Fatu, but gets thrown off, and Fatu headbutts him down for two. Over to Jacques and Samu and they fight over the lockup before Samu puts him down with a headbutt for two. It’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA already and the Quebecers collide and get chased to the floor as the challengers clean house. So the champs decide to walk away, but of course Fink announces that they’ll lose the titles if they do so, and they return for the brawl instead. I’d like to see the statute that allows the ring announcer to make that decision. Honky Tonk Man walked out of at least 150 title matches in 1987 alone and he never lost the title! Samu manages to get his head caught in the ropes in the chaos, which allows Jacques to take over with a piledriver, but the assisted senton misses. But then Jacques hits Pierre RIGHT IN THE MUSH by mistake and it’s hot tag Fatu as Jacques and Pierre suddenly self-destruct and Pierre turns on him and leaves. And that leaves Jacques alone, and it’s a flying Fatu splash to win the titles at 8:54 shown here. They edited a LOT out of the match and what was left here wasn’t much. *1/2

Ladder match, Intercontinental title: Razor Ramon v. Shawn Michaels

From Wrestlemania X and I imagine this will be edited down a lot too. This one has always had a weird Mandela effect where people remember it as Shawn defending the title against Razor, but it was actually Razor defending against Shawn. Maybe because the Summerslam rematch was Shawn defending against Razor? They slug it out and Shawn tosses him to the floor, allowing Diesel to hit Razor with a clothesline out there, prompting the ref to throw Diesel out and thus fulfil his purpose in being there. So Razor slugs Shawn from the floor and Shawn takes a great bump off that punch, and then Razor runs him into the corner and Shawn bumps to the floor for a brawl out there. Razor pulls up the mats but nothing comes of it, yet. Back in the ring, Razor tries a Razor’s Edge, but Shawn backdrops him onto his own exposed floorboards, and Shawn grabs the ladder, back in the day when there was only one ladder available. Razor gets it first, but Shawn baseball slides it into Razor’s gut and beats on him with the ladder in the ring. We’re clipped to them brawling on the floor as Razor beats on him with the ladder and then catapults him into it on the floor, and Shawn takes a great bump off the ladder and falls backwards into the aisle, just taking incredible bump after incredible bump here. And then Razor spears him in the head with the ladder and Shawn goes flying over the top rope and out to the floor, with the crowd going crazy. Razor makes the climb and Shawn hits him with a missile dropkick to knock him off for the double down. They climb again and Razor slams Shawn off the ladder, resulting in the ladder taking its own bump and nearly breaking on the way down! Razor climbs and almost gets the belts, but Shawn dropkicks him off and that poor ladder isn’t gonna make it much longer. So Shawn goes for the Razor’s Edge and then opts for a piledriver instead, because the idea of Shawn Michaels winning a title with someone else’s finisher is just silly. So he goes to the top and rides the ladder down onto Razor in another crazy spot for the time before opening the ladder on top of Razor. But that’s the big mistake, because Razor pushes him off and Shawn gets tied up in the ropes on the way down, allowing Razor to climb by himself and claim the belts at 13:38 shown. They didn’t actually edit much out here at all, in fact. I mean, it’s the ladder match, what else am I gonna give it? *****

This was actually a HELL of a one hour tape and an easy recommendation if you need something to watch.