The SmarK Rant for AWF Warriors of Wrestling – Episode 17

The SmarK Rant for AWF Warriors of Wrestling – Episode 17

The penultimate episode! At least of what’s available on the KrisP drive.

Taped from Chicago, IL and they’re in a totally different arena this time, like an actual sports building instead of the TV studio.

Your hosts are Mick Karch & Terry Taylor

Charlie Norris & The Z-Man v. The Southern Posse (Sonny Trout & Junior Thweet)

Zenk dropkicks Trout and works on the arm while we get an inset promo from Tony Atlas & Koko B. Ware, who apparently beat Tommy Rich & Greg Valentine last week in a show that’s not on this set. That’s a shame. The jobbers try to cut off the ring, but Norris comes in and throws chops to clear the ring. Trout rakes the face to cut off Norris and beats on him in the corner. Over to Zenk, but he goes for a headlock and gets hit with a cheapshot to end the round. And we get another inset promo, from Rico Suave this time, as we get our first mention of Paul Alperstein (TAKE A DRINK!) and he demands that Rich & Valentine be entered in the upcoming tag team tournament.

Round two and Zenk gets double-teamed in the heel corner, but one of the jobbers comes off the top with a clothesline attempt and everyone collides in an ugly botch. The Posse hits Zenk with a double facebuster and that gets two. Norris gets a hot tag and does his chops and wardancing. Zenk comes in again and does a bulldog out of the corner, but Trout sells it like a headlock takeover instead, and Zenk gets the pin anyway at 7:40. They were trying to have a “real” match but it was pretty bad.

Meanwhile, AI announcer simulation Chris E chats with Tito Santana, who has entered himself in the tag team tournament with Sgt. Slaughter.

Super Destroyer #1 v. “Big V” Vern Henderson

Vern works the arm on Destroyer #1 while we get an inset from Sir Oliver Humperdink, who hasn’t been around in forever on this show. Destroyer catches him with a knee to the gut to take over and then quickly finishes with a chicken wing at 3:05.

Meanwhile, Chris Adams introduces his new partner, Konnan 2000, who is replacing 2 Cold Scorpio due to a heinous attack from Nailz over in Europe.

Ron Powers v. Manny Fernandez

Manny is definitely not the Raging Bull. He’s more of an angry calf. We get an inset from Nailz and his new partner the Executioner, and he’s got no voice modulation and that’s certainly a choice. Karch: “He’s so wound up that his voice sounds nine octaves higher than I’ve ever heard him before!” Obviously they didn’t have that voice modulator money to spend at this point. Fernandez works on Powers’ arm and gets a crossbody for two, but Ron sends him to the floor on the kickout. Powers comes back in with a sunset flip for two. But then Manny puts his head down and Powers hits him with a forearm and drops him on the top rope. We get another mention of Paul Alperstein (TAKE A DRINK!) as Fernandez gets a cradle for two. Powers puts him down with a clothesline again as the round ends.

Round two and Manny rolls him up for two, but Powers finishes him with a gutbuster at 5:49. Who the hell is Ron Powers and why do I care? They’re really scraping the bottom of the star power barrel with this episode.

Meanwhile, Johnny Gunn and Jim Powers continue their very, very, very slow burn breakup and do a promo with robotics experiment gone wrong Chris E.

Meanwhile, Ken and Chris E run down the 12 team tournament for the tag titles, with Chris E sounding like one of the AI text-to-speech narrators on bad YouTube list videos. Unfortunately, the dream team of Sgt. Slaughter & Tito Santana do not make the cut for the tournament, unable to bypass high quality seeds like Ron Powers & Fidel Sierra and Charlie Norris & Tom Zenk.

Hercules & Mr. Hughes v. Kenny Kendall & Butch Long

Kenny works the arm while the announcers throw out a greeting to Dave Meltzer, I’m assuming because of a bad review, perish the thought. Over to Butch Long, but Hercules powerbombs him and pins him at 2:13.

Sgt. Slaughter v. Lightning Foot Jerry Flynn

Interesting that Flynn showed up on this trainwreck a few years before his WCW run. Flynn misses a blind charge and Slaughter clubs him down while we get an inset from the bizarre team of Ron Powers & Fidel Sierra, who are managed by Sheik Adnan. Sarge hits him with the Slaughter Cannon and finishes with the cobra clutch at 1:34.

And Killer Ken talks with the sexy duo of Tom Zenk & Charlie Norris to wrap up the show.

Next week: Blacktop Bully debuts as we say goodbye to Paul Alperstein’s promotion for good and I have to find something else to review. This one in particular was like watching a bad 90s indie promotion, with scrubs like Ron Powers filling out the roster in place of actual stars.