The SmarK Rant for AWF Warriors of Wrestling – Episode 14
By Scott Keith on 8 March 2024
The SmarK Rant for AWF Warriors of Wrestling – Episode 14
I thought it was gone but it turns out it was just moved to a different folder in the archive. You can’t get rid of Alperstein that easily!
Taped from a cardboard box outside the homeless shelter in Colt Cabana’s neighborhood
Your hosts are Mick Karch & Terry Taylor
Last week: Nailz attacks Koko B. Ware and Tony Atlas!
Paul Alperstein (TAKE A DRINK) joins Ken Resnick to discuss FINES AND SUSPENSIONS for the brawl last week, because god knows we can’t have fighting on our wrestling show! So both Nailz and Tony Atlas are fined $10,000 (payable to “Guido from New York” I’m sure) and suspended.
Hercules & Mr. Hughes v. Ronnie Vegas & Hawkeye Cody Hunter
The announcers strongly disagree with the fines levied against Tony Atlas by Paul Alperstein (take a drink) because he was only defending himself against Nailz, but they agree that it’s really the best thing for the fans because everyone wants a clean wrestling promotion with all of the rules being followed. Hughes puts Hunter down with a back elbow and drops another elbow on him for two, but picks him up. Over to Hercules as Hughes throws a dropkick on the way out because we know Herc isn’t leaving his feet, brother. Herc with the powerbomb to finish at 1:57.
Meanwhile, Killer Ken chats with Tony Atlas, who can’t wrestle until he pays the $10,000 fine from Paul Alperstein (take a drink). He doesn’t have $10,000 but he’ll find a way to pay it so he can face Nailz. I love wrestling promotions that make it clear all their wrestlers are poor and destitute.
2 Cold Scorpio & Gentleman Chris Adams v. Billy Joe Eaton & Ken McGuire
Karch thinks that the babyface team should take inspiration from Dick Steinborn & Doug Gilbert years ago and dub themselves “Mr. High and Mr. Low”. Two things here: One, even Terry Taylor makes fun of Karch for referencing something so old. Two, how could they possibly decide on which one would be “Mr. High”? Talk about Sophie’s Choice. Scorpio dropkicks Eaton down and flips into a legdrop for two, and it’s over to Adams, who drops an elbow for two. Scorpio with a powerbomb for two as Taylor wonders if there’s any such thing as a great official. I’m with him on that one. Double elbow and Adams drops another elbow for two. Scorpio with a standing moonsault for two as the jobber is apparently too dumb to just stay down and that ends the round. We get words from the SST during the round break, setting up another feud that will probably never pay off.
Second round and the jobbers double-team Scorpio and work the arm, but McGuire comes in and Adams hits him with an enzuigiri, which Karch calls a superkick before Taylor corrects him. Back to Eaton, but Adams hits the superkick for real this time and Scorpio finishes with the 450 at 6:47.
Meanwhile, Koko chats with AI generated interviewer Chris E, and he pledges to pay off HALF of the $10,000 fine against Tony Atlas and they’ll get revenge on Nailz.
Chief Charlie Norris v. Chad Miller
Norris takes Miller down with a hiptoss and goes with a headlock while Taylor talks about how Norris is basically a rookie who needs to work his way up against guys like Chad here. He’s already a Chief! Norris does the wardance and gets a chop and big boot, and then goes to an abdominal stretch to submit Miller at 3:15. “Just like Wilber Snyder!” notes Karch, really selling it to the TikTok generation here.
Meanwhile, we get to hear from Nailz without the voice changer, and it’s…it’s not good. Apparently Atlas is going to be beaten like they do in a prison riot with six guards brutalizing him. Sounds like a normal traffic stop in North Carolina.
Tom Zenk v. The Bounty Hunter
Zenk takes the Bounty Hunter down with a headlock while the announcers discuss their digitally produced show, with MOVIE TECHNOLOGY. It does look very nice all these years later, I’ll give them that. Bounty Hunter seems like a guy who would be complaining to his wife about Jewish space lasers robbing him of his job and letting all them immigrants in. Zenk with a full nelson and Hunter makes the ropes, so Zenk takes him down and goes to a kneebar as the round expires. We get words from Fidel Sierra in the inset promo between rounds, as he’s on the way to the AWF, even though he already debuted a couple of weeks ago.
Second round and Taylor notes that Zenk needs more gas in the tank and oxygen is the gas. Well…I mean…oxygen is literally a gas so yeah. Zenk goes up and hits a missile dropkick to finish at 5:52. Again what’s the point of the rounds system when they just go to the finish 10 seconds into the second round?
Meanwhile, Tom Zenk chats about all the great competition he’s looking forward to.
Greg Valentine & Tommy Rich v. Night Train Jackson & Danny Boy Hawkins
Jackson runs wild on Rich to start and gets an armdrag while we get an inset promo from Johnny Gunn and Jim Powers and Karch notes that they’re trying to go up the ladder and compete for the championships. Taylor: “What championships? We don’t have tag team titles in the AWF.” I KNOW RIGHT? Karch clarifies that people are talking about potentially doing a tournament for them. Pretty sure they were doing commentary for these out of order in big batches and even Karch started losing track after a while. The heels double-team Danny Boy and Rich goes to a chinlock as the round expires.
Second round and Valentine suplexes Hawkins and drops an elbow on him, followed by a DDT from Rich to finish at 5:55. What a boring team. Also remember weeks ago that they made a big deal of some woman at ringside with a laptop watching Valentine’s match and then never mentioned it again? To be fair the rent to own place where Alperstein got the laptop probably wanted it back anyway.
Meanwhile, we wrap it up with Tito Santana still talking about all the title defenses he’s making worldwide as AWF World champion, where Europeans love the AWF because of the “21st Century innovation” of the rounds system, which was literally stolen from British wrestling from decades earlier.
Well this was certainly a show that happened, you can’t take that away from it.