The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 12.20.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 12.20.24

Catching up with the weekend stuff again, and there’s only a couple of episodes left of Rampage so I might as well finish this show off. I’m paying for TSN Plus because I signed up before I heard about the USA Network thing so I might as well use it. Please it’ll annoy the usual suspects on the blog if I enjoy it, and that’s just a little Christmas bonus for me.

Taped from Washington, DC

Your hosts are Excalibur, Ian Riccaboni & Daddy Magic

The Don Callis Family joins us to start, and Kyle Fletcher doesn’t care about our feelings or Daniel Garcia’s feelings. Don Callis, rocking a sweet porkpie hat that matches his shoes, calls out Hobbs & Mark Davis as SCAB WORKERS, so I guess they’re gonna be doing Amazon deliveries over Christmas. Ironically, here in Canada, the postal service was on strike for weeks leading up to Christmas and Amazon was one of the few retailers that could get their stuff out to customers on a regular basis.

Powerhouse Hobbs & Mark Davis v. Konosuke Takeshita & Brian Cage

Hold on, Brian Cage is still wearing the ROH TV title here, despite losing it on the ROH PPV? I’m beginning to think wrestling might not be on the up-and-up. Hobbs and Takeshita have a MEAT BATTLE to start and Takeshita backs off from that and brings Cage in, and Hobbs puts the meat beats on him as well. Over to Davis, who slams Cage and drops an elbow for two, but the heels dump Davis and hit Hobbs with a double-team legsweep/boot for two. Takeshita slugs away in the corner and Cage adds a suplex for two as Hobbs is Meat-in-Peril. Cage and Hobbs are TWO MEATY MEN SLAPPING MEAT but Hobbs hits him with an exploder and gets something of a hot tag to Mark Davis. Man this guy needs a makeover of some kind. The lumpy white guy in black trunks look doesn’t scream star. Takeshita hits Davis with a Blue Thunder Bomb for two as we take a break and return with Davis fighting back on Cage. Hot tag Hobbs and he hits Takeshita with a spinebuster for two, as Cage makes the save and then tags in with an enzuigiri and german suplex out of the corner. Pump handle driver gets two. Everyone comes in and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA’S MEAT PACKING DISTRICT as they all slug it out, and Davis hits Takeshita with an impressive german suplex. Cage and Hobbs go tumbling over the top to the floor, leaving Davis alone with Takeshita, and Mark throws elbows in the corner but walks into a clothesline for a double down that they both no-sell. But Takeshita ends him with the knee strike and falcon arrow to finish at 12:30. This match ruled, just big guys hitting big moves on each other. ***1/2

Meanwhile, Willow’s mind is boggled at going to the Tokyo Dome, but Kris Statlander stops by for an awkward good luck.

Meanwhile, Harley Cameron sings us the 12 Days of Shop AEW because she’s the BEST. Apparently she’s also a former ventriloquist, and I don’t know how you work that in but they absolutely need to.

Meanwhile, OUTRUNNERS MICRO BRAWLERS?!?

https://www.shopaew.com/the-outrunners-aew-micro-brawlerr-tag-team-2-pack.html

SANTA CLAUS YOU FAT JOLLY BASTARD YOU BETTER NOT LET ME DOWN.

Lio Rush & Action Andretti v. Hawkins and Goldie

Didn’t get the first names but Andretti & Rush blitz them at 100 miles an hour and finish with the springboard stunner in 30 seconds. And then Private Party comes out to thrust their crotches at them, but Top Flight interrupts and saves from any further confrontation. This team needs a name badly. Action Rush seems obvious but it would fit.

Meanwhile, Harley Cameron wants us to appreciate all her facets, but she has yet to win a match. Penelope Ford stops by, also full of “facets”. “How much did YOURS cost?” wonders Harley and then declares “FEEL THE WRATH OF HARLEY CAMERON” before Renee points out that Ford is on her side. “DON’T FEEL THE WRATH OF HARLEY CAMERON, THEN!”

Willow Nightingale v. Harley Cameron

Harley has actually changed outfits in the 4 seconds between that promo and this match through some sort of TV wizardry. Harley tries to win a power battle and that goes badly for her, as Willow hits her with a back suplex and bodypress for two. We take a break and return with Willow missing a cannonball, allowing Harley to come back with a pair of knees and an enzuigiri, setting up the Shining Wizard for two. “You’re a wizard, Harley!” notes Daddy Magic. I thought Kip Sabian was the giant Harry Potter nerd? God there’s more of them. Harley with a victory roll for two, but Willow gets a DVD for two. Powerbomb finishes at 4:30. Harley continues to swing way above her experience level. **1/2 Penelope hits the ring for an attack afterwards, but Statlander makes the save and fans wants them to hug it out. Kris is still emotionally unavailable, however. Sure, Harley Cameron and Penelope Ford are an awesome team, but they need to be hooked up with Dalton Castle when he comes back. It’s the play.

Meanwhile, we take a look at Thunder Rosa’s comeback and upcoming street fight at World’s End.

Meanwhile, Jeff Jarrett was going to look back at 2024, but he prefers to look ahead and so he’ll be making moves in 2025. Actually they should have Harley join THAT crew, because if anyone understands the Memphis mindset, it’s Harley.

Continental Classic Gold League: Brody King v. Komander

Again it shows the disconnect with the brands when Komander is winning the ROH TV title on the PPV at the same time as this show, but still suck with zero points in the tournament and basically there as the goof who everyone beats. Brody overpowers Komander as expected and chops him down before hitting a backdrop. He tries a powerbomb and Komander reverses to a sunset flip, but Brody won’t go down and clubs Komander down with forearms. Komander tries a submission hold and Brody runs him into the corner to break, but Komander keeps coming with kicks, so Brody just chops him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Brody continuing the beating on the ropes, but Komander tries the standing submission again and then hits Brody with a seated dropkick. Crucifix bomb sends Brody to the floor, but he tries to follow with a dive and gets caught and murdered by Brody. Brody charges and hits the railing and Komander tries another comeback, hitting Brody with a swanton off the post to the floor. Back in the ring, Brody has had enough of this and takes Komander to the top with an electric chair, but Komander reverses out and hits a 450 for two. People bought that near fall, I’ll give them that. But then Komander charges and Brody swats him down. Brody charges and Komander dodges him and dropkicks the shoulder to send Brody to the floor again, before hitting another dive and then a shooting star press. But Brody is too big to roll over for the pin, so Komander tries one last fancy handspring and Brody catches him and plants him with the Ganso Bomb to finish at 14:17. This was GREAT, as the crowd didn’t buy into Komander at all (and neither did anyone else) and by the end he had won them over. Hopefully he at least gets the 3 points against Claudio on Christmas for the miracle upset win in the tournament. ****

A GREAT hour of wrestling this week, mostly because of Harley Cameron and her WRATH.

Next week: The FINALE of AEW Rampage!