The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 12.08.23

The SmarK Rant for AEW Rampage – 12.08.23

Taped from Montreal, QC. I wasn’t gonna watch this one but then Bryan Danielson went on Twitter and threatened to fine everyone who didn’t watch. True story. Plus the Montreal shows are actually on TSN this week so it’s much easier for me to watch them.

Your hosts are Ian Riccaboni, Tony Schiavone & Daddy Magic

AEW International title: Orange Cassidy v. Angelico

They trade takedown attempts to start and Orange cradles for two off that. Angelico prevents any hands from going into the pockets, but Orange quickly takes him down and goes for the Orange Punch, which prompts Angelico to bail for some advice from Serpentico. I have no idea what he could possibly offer in that regard. I can’t even come up with a good joke answer. Back in the ring, Orange goes to the pockets to show he means business and takes him over with a rana, but he’s having trouble with his ankle and Angelico clips him to take over. Back in the ring, Angelico uses his wacky array of deathlocks to work the leg and he rolls Orange over for two. We take a break and return with Angelico getting a suplex for two. Orange reverses out of a rolling cradle and gets the stunner and Beach Break, but can’t make the cover. Serpentico interrupts the Orange Punch, but then Danhausen trips up Angelico in return and CURSES Angelico. How much worse can it get for the poor guy, anyway? Angelico somehow overcomes this and wraps up Orange into another deathlock after taking out Danhausen. But then Orange uses the POCKET POWER to break the hold while Serpentico and Danhausen do a clown show at ringside, and Orange rolls up Angelico for two. And the Orange Punch finishes at 11:30. This was a really fun opener with just the right amount of shenanigans. ***1/4

Abadon v. Trish Adora

Holy cow, they’re booking Abadon outside of Halloween street fights! Abadon offers a free shot and absorbs some chops in the corner, and actually expresses more vocally than usual. Trish takes them down with a double arm submission, but Abadon bites out of it and gets a double knee in the corner and stomps her down. Abadon with choking on the ropes, but Adora puts them down with a pump kick. But Abadon pops up and knees her down, and then hits a DDT called the Black Diamond to finish at 3:35. Interesting to see Abadon doing more of an actual match than the usual freakshow brawl that they normally specialize in. Wasn’t great but it’s something different. **. And then Julia Hart does a spooky appearance to tease Abadon with the TBS title before vanishing again.

Powerhouse Hobbs & Konosuke Takeshita v. Matt Sydal & Christopher Daniels

Hobbs laughs off chops from Daniels to start, but Daniels beats on him with elbows instead until Hobbs wallops him. Over to Takeshita, who hits Daniels with a running elbow in the corner and follows with a senton. Sydal comes in and tries a headscissors, but Takeshita overpowers him and we take a break. Back with Hobbs hitting Sydal with an Oklahoma Stampede for two and the heels double-team him in the corner. Hobbs misses a charge and it’s back to Daniels, who gets a rana on Hobbs, but Hobbs blasts him with a clothesline and spinebuster before finishing with the strongest slam at 8:08. Mostly just a squash. **

Meanwhile, Top Flight accepts the challenge of Penta and his luchador brethren.

Continental Classic: Bryan Danielson v. Daniel Garcia

They do a wristlock fight to start and Bryan wins that one. Next up, Garcia wins a takedown battle, so Bryan beats on him with kicks and Garcia fires back with boots in the corner and hangs him in the tree of woe for a shotgun dropkick that gets two. Danielson with a suplex as we take a break. Back with Bryan in control as he beats on Garcia with kicks, but Garcia fires off a backdrop driver for two. Garcia tries a Gotch piledriver, but Bryan reverses into a triangle and just punches him out until the ref forces a break. Danielson goes for the busaiku knee, but Garcia collapses, and then suckers him in with a cradle for two. Daniel with the Dragon tamer and he leans back to sink it in, but Bryan grabs the neck to force a break. So Garcia hits him with a piledriver for two and declares that it’s time to kick Danielson’s head in. Daddy Magic is all for this on commentary, but then he stops to dance instead and gets hit with the busaiku knee for two. And then Danielson is the one who kicks the heads in this time, and the Lebell Lock puts him out of his misery at 15:00. This was some high level pro graps here, my friends! ****. So Bryan gets to 6 points and Garcia remains winless. Well we know why Garcia is in this tournament anyway.

This was a pretty great hour of wrestling that felt a lot more lively than the usual funeral procession of taped matches that drove me away from it in the first place. Great job, Montreal! Too bad your hockey team still sucks.