The SmarK Rant for AEW Full Gear 2024 – 11.23.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Full Gear 2024 – 11.23.24

Live from Newark, NJ

Your hosts are Excalibur, Nigel McGuiness & Tony Schiavone

AEW World tag team title: Private Party v. The House of Black v. The Acclaimed v. The OUTRUNNERS~!

Surprisingly all the entrances are on the pre-show, so they must be going extra long with the matches tonight. We start with Quen and Malakai and they trade takedowns before reaching a stalemate. Bowens comes in and trades armdrags with Zay, but we get some miscommunication with Max, allowing the Outrunners to come in and double-team Zay. Truth with the Perfect necksnap and Turbo with the FULL BODY LIFT AND SLAM before cleaning house. New Jersey doesn’t deserve these men. Brody slugs Turbo down, but he’s hulking up, only to walk into a lariat. Well that didn’t go how I wanted for him. The HOB double-teams Bowens with a superplex into a diving stomp from Black, and they follow with a dive onto the pile outside. Next up, they beat on Quen and Zay, prompting everyone else to team up and go after Brody. Turbo offers a peacemaking scissoring with Bowens, but Caster breaks it up and then kind of leaves Bowens to take a beating from everyone. Private Party takes out the Outrunners and they hit stereo 450s, which gets two. But then the Runners recover and drop the double elbow, only to get smashed by Brody King again. However, he misses a cannonball and the Outrunners hit Total Recall on him, for two. Caster makes the save because otherwise that was a sure title change. Crowd: “Fuck you, Caster!” So Max leans into it and dares Bowens to do something about it, as apparently there’s no Outlaw Rule in AEW. Bowens covers Caster for two, but Zay saves anyway. Caster tags himself in again while Bowens gets a crucifix on Zay for a clear three count, but he’s not legal. So Caster tries the Mic Drop, but Private Party hits Gin & Juice on him to retain at 13:34. Man this thing had NO flow to it and just kind of ended abruptly. Kind of a lackluster opener to say the least. **1/4. Like I didn’t see the reasoning for having the other teams in there, when beating the Acclaimed would have been a stronger match and bigger win for Private Party.

Meanwhile, Orange Cassidy is sending a message tonight, that AEW doesn’t need Jon Moxley.

MJF v. Roderick Strong

MJF makes friends with Jersey to start, prompting Roddy to attack on the floor, but he punches the post by mistake and MJF bends the fingers on the turnbuckle bolt to take over. Back in the ring, Strong throws chops and that backfires on him, as Max whips him into the corner to hurt the hand again and goes to a top wristlock. Strong fights back with a backbreaker and hits him with clotheslines to come back, dropping him with a buckle bomb and Angle slam for two. Strong bails to the apron and escapes the Heatseeker, hitting MJF with a dive outside. Back in, Max dodges the Sick Kick and goes up, but Strong brings him down with a backbreaker, which gets two. MJF with a double stomp on the arm and he follows with the hammerlock DDT for two. Roddy fights back and Max thumbs him in the eye, so Strong takes him down with the cloverleaf. Max fights out of that, but Strong hits him with an elbow and End of Heartache for two. Max bails to escape the pin and Strong has to try again, but Max cradles for two. Strong with a backbreaker out of a torture rack and then an exploding gutbuster and Sick Kick, but he doesn’t make the cover. So MJF hits him with a brainbuster and it’s a double down. Max rolls him into the armbreaker, however, and taps him out at 13:34. They really struggled to keep the crowd here, mostly because no one cares about this as a PPV match. It was a fine TV match, basically. ***. And then Max goes after the hand again, but Adam Cole and the Kingdom make the save, only for Kyle O’Reilly to shove Cole down and blame him for Roddy getting hurt. Man this entire storyline really sucks. They need to pivot and turn someone or something, and soon.

TBS title: Mercedes Mone v. Kris Statlander

Mercedes takes her down with the backstabber and slugs away on the mat, but Kris hits her with a press slam and standing moonsault for two. They fight to the apron and Statlander tries to slam her to the floor, but Mercedes reverses to a rana out there. Mone with the double knees in the stairs, and back in for two. Meteora gets two. They trade forearms and Mone gets a rollup for two, but grabs the ropes and has to break. Neckbreaker out of a powerbomb attempt gets two. That was pretty ugly. Mone with another double knees in the corner for two. They fight to the top, but Statlander slams her down and then hits her with a buckle bomb in the other corner. Stat comes back with a powerslam and a Chaos Theory for two. Mercedes reverses a slam into a crucifix for two and tries the Bank Statement, but Statlander powers out of that. So Mone hits the backstabber for two. Mone goes up and hits yet another meteora, which only gets two. Stat comes back with a backbreaker and lariat for two and MAN is this crowd dead tonight. Mone cradles for two, but Stat reverses to a falcon arrow for two. Mone with a DDT for two as the crowd finally seems to wake up a bit and chants for Statlander. So Mone does the triple suplexes and goes up for another meteora, but Stat catches her and slams her for two. Stat goes up, but misses the 450, and Mercedes goes after the knee and frog splashes the knee for two. Backstabber times two sets up the Moneymaker, which gets two. FINALLY the crowd gets into it after that. So Mone slaps her around and tries it again, but Kris reverses to a backslide. Mone with a cradle, but Stat powers her into a whiplash slam and Mone has to bite the knee to prevent the tombstone, and then rolls her up for the pin at 19:29 to retain. Stat should have went over here, no question. She deserves five stars, a raise, and the TBS title for finally waking up this shitty Jersey crowd for a brief minute before the finish deflated them again. ****

Hangman Adam Page v. Jay White

YES! Thank you to the hero at ringside who finally put a LEAVES IS PLANTS sign on TV to pay tribute to Hangman’s outlaw gardening skills. This crowd doesn’t deserve you, sir. They trade chops to start and Page suplexes Jay to the floor and goes after the ankle. Back in the ring, Hangman goes to work on it and gets a belly to belly for two. White dropkicks the knee and goes back to the chops before hitting a DDT for two. Page with a fallaway slam into the corner to put him down again, and then takes him to the top for a fallaway slam that gets two. So White takes him down and goes after the knee again, before taking to the top for a superplex that gets two. He goes for the brainbuster and Page clips the ankle, so White takes out the knee and they’re both down. They clobber each other with clotheslines and finally they both go down,and White gets a german suplex for two. Page with a powerbomb for two. They fight to the apron and trade kicks, but White hits a half and half suplex on THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING and then follows with another one on the floor. He tries a kneecrusher on the ramp, but Page rakes the eyes and sends him into the railing to escape. Hangman with an anklelock on the floor, where it hurts more, and they both barely beat the count at 9. But Hangman is left on the apron while White recovers, and he tries the buckshot before switching to an anklelock instead. White sends him to the apron to break, but dragon screws him to block a buckshot attempt and hits a uranage for two. Page takes him down with another anklelock and White reverses to a leglock and now Page has to make the ropes. Page blocks the sleeper suplex and hits him with the Deadeye. White won’t stay down, so he hits a second one for two. Another buckshot, but White counters him into the Blade Runner, and Page rolls that into the anklelock, and White rolls THAT into the Blade Runner to finish at 20:00. Shockingly great technical battle here with a really cool reversal for the finish. ****1/4. Page, of course, doesn’t take it very well and attacks White on the way out, then hits Christopher Daniels as well for good measure.

Will Ospreay v. Kyle Fletcher

Kyle throws chops on Will, but they head to the floor and Ospreay gets run into the railing. Kyle sets up the stairs, but Ospreay dives off them with a rana and back into the ring. Fletcher with a short DDT in the corner and he goes after the neck tape. They fight to the apron and Kyle takes him to the floor again, for a brainbuster on the floor this time. Back in, that gets two. Don Callis, on commentary, clarifies that he hates children but he would like to have a son like Kyle Fletcher. That’s high praise. Kyle keeps on the neck and beats on him with kicks, to the point where Ospreay can’t do the handspring without collapsing. Fletcher with a DDT for two. Kyle misses a charge and Ospreay boots him to the floor and hits him with a Sky Twister Press out there. Back in, Ospreay with a springboard forearm for two. So they trade chops and Will lets him take his best shot, at which point Kyle superkicks him instead. So Ospreay gives him the Cheeky Nandos and a powerbomb for two. Fletcher escapes the Hidden Blade and counters the Ozcutter into a neckbreaker, and a powerbomb gets two. Ospreay with the stunner, but Fletcher puts him over the top and Will skins the cat and takes Fletcher to the floor with him for a tombstone out there. Kyle just beats the count, but Ospreay dropkicks him on the way in and moonsaults him for two. Hidden Blade misses and then Ospreay escapes another powerbomb and hits the Spanish Fly, but then Fletcher counters another Hidden Blade and Ospreay hits one on the rebound for the double down. Will goes up and Fletcher crotches him and brings him down with a superplex, but Ospreay flips him into a Styles Clash on the way down and that gets two. Hidden Blade gets two. Fletcher hides on the apron and a frustrated Ospreay just punches him in the side of the head in disgust and follows him out for a powerbomb attempt, but Fletcher counters with a terrifying tombstone onto the stairs and they’re both wrecked by that. Back in the ring, Kyle hits him with a leg lariat and piledriver for two. This sets up the TIGER DRIVER, but Ospreay snaps off a rollup for two and tries to fight back again. So Fletcher takes out the arm again and then blasts him with a lariat and running kick in the corner. I love all the closeup camera angles to really sell the hatred. And Fletcher drops him on the top turnbuckle with the brainbuster, and Ospreay isn’t kicking out of that at 24:00, giving Fletcher the biggest win of his career. Incredible performance for Fletcher and Ospreay went out and just destroyed his own body to put his friend over here. ****1/2

Champagne Championship Celebration:

Yes, it’s finally time for Mariah to deliver on her promise, introduced by her really good gal pal Mina Shirakawa and sporting a nasty shiner. So they enjoy some bubbly and dance, but then Mariah tries to turn on her and the brawl is on as Mina spears through a table off the stage. The crowd’s shock at that twist despite all the buildup shows why wrestling is still awesome.

TNT title: Jack Perry v. Daniel Garcia

Perry runs away and we get some stalling on the floor to start, but they fight out there and Jack drops him with a draping DDT to the floor. Another draping DDT off the railing follows, and back in with a missile dropkick to the neck for two. Perry with a chinlock, but Garcia suplexes out of it and fights back while the crowd has gone back to sleeping again. Perry with the Snare Trap, but Garcia makes the ropes. He should call that one the No EScapegoat. To the apron and Perry drops him on the apron with a suplex and talks some trash to Daddy Magic before powerbombing Garcia through the timekeeper table. But Danny makes the comeback in the ring and suplexes Perry into the corner, but Perry takes him to the top and brings him down with a lawn dart into the turnbuckle for two. But then he grabs the TNT belt and dares Garcia to hit him with it, and then suckers him into for a shot to the nuts and the running knee for two. Another knee is countered into a rollup for two by Garcia, and he traps the foot and hits a piledriver for two. Perry is up again and wants more punishment, so Garcia hits another piledriver and puts him in the Dragon Tamer and Perry taps at 18:17 for the surprise title change. Crowd was dead for the match but it was technically solid and the finish got a giant pop at least. ***

AEW International title: Konosuke Takeshita v. Ricochet

They trade takedowns to start and Ricochet dropkicks him out of that and springboards into a bodypress for two. Takeshita boots him to the floor and suplexes him onto the table, and then back in for a backbreaker and some kneedrops to work the back. Spinning sideslam gets two. He whips Ricochet into the corners, but Ric fights back and can’t do a springboard because of his back. Takeshita slams him back into the ring and goes to a surfboard. They slug it out with elbows and Ricochet comes back with a springboard clothesline, but the back keeps giving way. But not enough to stop him from doing a Space Flying Tiger Drop. Back in with a springboard 450, which gets two. So Callis leaves the desk and goes to rile up the crowd, who have been scary dead for this match, and it inspires Takeshita to hit the Blue Thunder Bomb for two. They slug it out and trade cradles, which Takeshita turns into a wheelbarrow suplex. But Ricochet hits him with a knee and it’s a double down. Ricochet is up first and goes to the top, but Takeshita hits him in the back and brings him down with a german suplex and running lariat for two. Power knee gets two. Takeshita goes up and Ricochet brings him down with a rana and then goes up himself with a shooting star press for two. Ric misses the Spirit Gun, and Takeshita hits the tombstone for two. Ric with an enzuigiri and fireman’s carry into a head kick for two. Back to the top, but Takeshita cuts him off and brings him down with a falcon arrow to finish at 19:20 in kind of a surprising end. Crowd was dead for this too, and I was pretty annoyed by the storyline of “Ricochet has a crippled back but still does springboards and gymnastics all match”. Again, wasn’t bad or anything, but really disappointing. ***

Swerve Strickland v. Bobby Lashley

Hopefully Swerve will at least bring the heat. Lashley immediately slams Swerve, which Excalibur calls a wake up call. This crowd needs a wake up call. Bobby with a Yakisoba cutter for two, but picks him up to continue the beating. Delayed suplex, so delayed they should call it “This crowd making noise during the matches”, and Bobby chokes him out in the corner until Swerve fights back. Bobby powerslams him for two and goes to a chinlock, but Swerve fights out of that, so Lashley boots him off the apron. The heels send Swerve into the railing and get more punishment out there, and finally the ref ejects Shelton to even it up. But then Lashley chokeslams Swerve onto the apron anyway and runs him into the railing again. They fight back to the apron and Swerve gets a DDT there, although they miss the apron and land on the floor in the process. So Lashley retreats to the table and Swerve dives off the stairs with a Swerve stomp, putting him through the Spanish table to finally awaken the crowd. Back in the ring, Swerve with the House call kick and he goes up with the Swerve Stomp for two. Bobby retreats to the floor and we get a moment between Swerve and MVP, but Bobby spears him through the railing and into the front row to break it up. Back in the ring, Bobby hits another spear to set up the Hurt Lock and Swerve is out cold at 13:08. This way overdelivered, I thought, especially with the aging Lashley out there hanging with Swerve somehow. ****

AEW World title: Jon Moxley v. Orange Cassidy

Orange hits three Orange punches during the ring introductions and takes Mox to the floor, slugging away on the announce table, and they fight into the crowd before Moxley takes him back to ringside and boots him in the face to put him down. Mox with a curb stomp onto the stairs, busting him open. Back in the ring, Mox tosses him out again and hits a DDT on the stairs, splattering more of Orange’s blood onto the stairs. Back in the ring, Mox bites the cut to open it further and hits him with a Gotch piledriver, for two. Back to the floor, where Mox puts him on the Spanish table and bites the fingers this time, and then cuts off a comeback by running him into the stairs headfirst. Back in the ring, Moxley repeatedly boots him in the bloodied face and suplexes him for two. Orange fights to the apron, so Moxley runs him into the railing and Orange beats the count. Back in the ring, they head to the top and Moxley digs his nails into the back, so Orange does the same. But then Moxley punches him out of the air for two. Mox wraps him up in a submission and goes to a guillotine, but then wants a piledriver off the middle rope and Orange fights him off with the diving DDT. Orange tries another punch but walks into a cutter as a result. They slug it out and Orange loses that but wants more, so he goes to the pockets and hits the Orange punches again. Rollup gets two. Mox puts him down again, so Orange hits another punch and the Beach Break for two. So this brings out the Death Riders and the Conglomeration fights them off, while Marina brings the briefcase in and Willow hits the ring and takes her out as well. This leaves Orange with the case, and he wallops Moxley for two. Another Orange punch, but Wheeler Yuta hits the knee behind the ref’s back and Moxley finishes with the Death Rider at 19:19 for one last heel win to end the night. Orange took a hellacious beating and it was, as usual, Death Rider interference that was too much for the babyfaces to overcome. ***3/4. Second verse, same as the first.

Afterwards, the heels get rid of Orange, but Hangman Page hits the ring for a staredown with Moxley, allowing Christian to lay out Moxley and tease cashing in. But then Jay White stops that and the Death Riders all leave. But Darby Allin drives in for one last twist in the parking lot, and smashes their car to end the show. A very flat and lifeless finish to a show with a flat and lifeless crowd. It wasn’t bad by any means, but the crowd sure was terrible. And they were so dead that it actively made the show a chore to watch most of the way despite the good matches, to the point where I can’t recommend it. Not to mention four hours of soul-crushing heel wins probably didn’t help matters.