The SmarK Rant for AEW Forbidden Door 2024 – 06.30.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Forbidden Door 2024 – 06.30.24

Live from Long Island, NY

Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz & Nigel McGuinness

MJF v. Hechicero

Max uses offbeat shenanigans to evade Hechicero, but gets thrown out of the ring. So he runs Hechicero into the railing and boots him into the timekeeper pit. Back in, Hechicero takes advantage of MJF preening and goes after the arm. Hammerlock backbreaker gets two, and a piledriver gets two. He continues to work the arm, but MJF comes back and slugs away in the corner before going up with a Panama Sunrise and brainbuster for the pin at 9:54. An OK opener with an anticlimactic ending. **1/2. This could have easily been on a TV show and probably should have been.

The Young Bucks & Kazuchika Okada v. The Acclaimed & Hiroshi Tanahashi

Max is certainly fond of calling people bitches tonight. We get a brief Okada v. Tanahashi showdown before Bowens comes in and trades takedowns with Nicholas. This sets up a double Scissor Me Timbers in the Acclaimed corner and they stop to rock out. Next, the Bucks go to work on Caster and then stop to SMASH THE GUITARS of the babyfaces in the ultimate heel move. The crowd hates that, but luckily Nicholas is wearing Max’s headphones and can’t hear them. Okada comes in with a low dropkick on Caster and Matthew takes him to the top, but Caster gets a bodypress and Okada comes in and breaks up the tag. Bowens gets it anyway and runs wild for a bit, and the Bucks collide in the corner and Bowens slams Matthew for two. Everyone collides and we get Okada v. Tanahashi again, which the crowd is waiting for. Tana goes up with a senton for two and takes Okada down with a dragon screw into the Cloverleaf, but the Bucks break that up. Acclaimed drop the mic on Okada and Tanahashi tries the finish, but the Bucks trip him up and he hits Okada’s knees on the way down. This allows the Bucks to pump up the shoes for the SUPERKICK PARTY to get rid of the Acclaimed, and Okada goes up with the flying elbow, but he teases the pose again and Tana rolls him up for two. One day he’s gonna turn babyface and the crowd is gonna explode for the real Rainmaker pose. And the Rainmaker finishes Tanahashi at 13:00. Another OK match that mostly underdelivered. I think the TV match that set it up was a lot better. **1/2

Owen Hart tournament round one: Bryan Danielson v. Shingo Takagi

They do the test of strength to start and Bryan takes him down for the bow and arrow (“Wake me up when he’s finished” notes Nigel) and Romero Special. Also made sure to reference HAWK TUAH because he’s a menace. Takagi takes him to the corner and they slug it out, but Takagi takes Bryan to the floor with an ugly bump, giving Bryan a chance to sell the crap out of his shoulder again. Back in the ring, Shingo with a suplex for two. Shingo with a chinlock and Bryan fights out of that, but Takagi puts him down with more shots and it’s a double down. So they man up and exchange more chops, with Bryan hitting the corner dropkick off that. He goes up and Takagi cuts him off, but Bryan brings him down and comes back with the kicks. Takagi shakes that off and so Bryan takes him down with an armbar into a triangle, which Takagi powerslams out of. To the top for a superplex from Takagi, and the lariat gets two. Bryan escapes Made in Japan, but walks into another lariat , and Made in Japan gets two. He beats on Danielson’s injured shoulder with elbows, but tries another lariat and Bryan rolls him into an armbar, which turns into the Lebell Lock. Shingo rolls out of that and they headbutt each other to a stalemate, and then Danielson suplexes him on his head. Bryan comes back one last time with the bu saiki knee, but it only gets two. So Bryan decides to kick his head in and triangles him again while throwing elbows. Takagi powers out of that, so Bryan takes him down again with an armbar and yanks on it until he taps at 20:00. Now this is more like it, first great match of the night and really woke up the crowd. ****1/2

AEW World Women’s title: Toni Storm v. Mina Shirakawa

They fight for the lockup while Mariah agonizes over which corner to choose, like Elizabeth at Wrestlemania V. Toni hits the hip attack and beats Mina down for two, but Mina goes to work on the knee and wraps the leg around the post. Back in the ring, Toni gets a fisherman’s suplex for two and Mina bails to the apron to escape, so Toni sends her to the floor and then misses a charge into the stairs. Mina with a crossbody to the floor, but Toni catches her with a tree slam in the ring for two. She misses the hip attack and Mina gets a figure-four to continue the attack on the knee and Toni has to make the ropes. They slug it out and Mina wins that one with an elbow strike. To the top, and Mina gets a DDT from up there, for two. Toni escapes the Glamourous Driver and hits a german suplex to make the comeback, and she follows with the hip attack for two. Mina gets a crazy rollup for two and throws stirkes to put Toni down again, and the Glamorous Driver gets two. Toni cradles for two and headbutts her, but that just fires up Mina. So Toni suplexes her again and hits Storm Zero to finish at 11:33. A great match and hopefully they keep Mina around after this story is done. **** Afterwards, Mina wants to give respect, and we get the most awkward hug possible to settle things. And then Mariah somehow talks them into a three-way kiss as well. The Bloodline wishes it was this kind of cinema. Nigel is of course moved to tears.

Orange Cassidy v. Zack Sabre Jr.

I’d like to throw out kudos for the pacing of the show tonight so far, as they’re doing nice little video packages between matches, allowing us to take a breath for a couple of minutes. It’s a welcome change over the usual packed four hour shows with no breaks. They trade takedowns to start and Orange goes for a rest on the floor. Zack graciously lets him back in and then goes after the arm while the announcers needle Taz over Zack’s orange colors and suplexes, and Zack ties him up with a hold, which Orange cleverly reverses. Zack assists Orange with the pockets, but Orange takes him down with a submission hold on the mat and they trade cradles for two. Zack cranks his neck and goes after the knee with a half crab that he turns into a wacky submission and Orange makes the ropes. Zack with the mocking kicks and then a real one to put him down. Orange comes back with a stunner and Michinoku Driver for two, and the diving DDT gets two. Orange Punch is countered by Zack and he stomps the elbow and then uses SMALL JOINT MANIPULATION to take out the hand. Orange cradles for two and Zack reverses into an armbar and continues attacking the fingers, but Orange gets fired up and goes after the knee himself. Orange with the Beach Break for two. Orange Punch, but Zack’s hand attacks leave it wanting, and Zack takes him down and they trade cradles again for two. Zack with the choke out of that, but Orange reverses to a Gedo clutch for two. Backslide and Mousetrap follow, but Zack rolls him into another crazy arm submission and ties up all his limbs for the tapout at 16:23. That was an awesome finish, as Zack just kept tying up limbs until Orange didn’t have any way to reverse out any longer. I’m assuming Zack is sticking around for Wembley if he went over here. Hell of a technical battle here. ****1/4.

Chris Jericho, Big Bill & Jeff Cobb v. Samoa Joe, Hook & Katsuyori Shibata

Nigel and Taz continue needling each other (“I’m just trying to give you your flowers!” “Those are the wrong kind of flowers”) and stealing the show on commentary. The crowd asks Jericho nicely once again to please retire, but he corrects them and notes that he’s the hometown hero. Bill with a delayed suplex on Shibata for two, so delayed they should call it Biden’s answers during the debate, and Jericho throws chops on Shibata and gets nowhere. Shibata fires back and we get a double walkaway spot from Hook and Shibata as proud papa Joe smiles from the apron. Greatest storyline in wrestling. Jericho finally tags out to Cobb in frustration, giving us the Cobb v. Joe showdown and it’s MEAT TIME. Joe slugs away and hits the enzuigiri in the corner, but Cobb powers him up with a slam and it’s over to Big Bill. Joe and Cobb slug it out again and Hook comes in to run wild for a bit, but gets distracted and taken out by Cobb. Over to Jericho with a backdrop suplex for one, and Bill drops elbows on him as I notice that Bill has “Too much man” with credit to Tony Schiavone embroidered on his ass. Classy. Hook fights back with a lariat on Cobb and brings Shibata back for a comeback on Cobb. The babyfaces triple-team Cobb in the corner and Joe gets a senton for two. Cobb casually blocks Shibata’s armbar with his freaky power and then tosses him with a slam. Jericho tries the Lionsault but makes the mistake of waving to the fans first, and hits knee. Everyone brawls outside while Jericho kicks Shibata in the nuts to set up the Walls while the crowd chants “You still got it / No You don’t” and everyone starts throwing suplexes. Jericho with the codebreaker on Hook for two off that. Hook chokes Jericho, Shibata chokes Bill, and Joe chokes Cobb, and Hook hits Jericho with a Judas Effect for good measure, and pins him to win at 14:00. Joe is of course tremendously proud of his young boy for that one. This was very fun but like a good TV match and not $50 PPV level. ***

TNT title ladder match: Jack Perry v. El Phantasmo v. Konosuke Takeshita v. Mark Briscoe v. Dante Martin v. Lio Rush

Everyone teams up on Takeshita to start and gets rid of him, and then Jack Perry, and it’s ladder time already. Briscoe with some redneck kung fu on the floor and he finds a table while Perry sneaks in with his EVIL BLACK LADDER and goes for e belt. Lio saves and runs Jack into the ladder, but ELP drops him on a ladder in the corner. Dante climbs next, but Takeshita pushes him over and then gives him a sick brainbuster on the side of the ladder. Briscoe with the Funk tribute and he clears the ring and then puts Takeshita on a table outside and follows with a crazy dive to squash him under a ladder. That looked SCARY. Back in the ring, Perry sets up a ladder and climbs again, but Phantasmo saves with the PURPLE NURPLE OF DOOM. Dante brings him down and sells his leg on the way down, which is hopefully just selling. They all fight on the apron and Briscoe sets up the ladder on the apron, but Lio dives through the ladder and hits Takeshita. And then Briscoe climbs the ladder and dives onto Perry, who is on a table at ringside, and nearly kills himself in the process because he doesn’t make it to the table. Dante and Lio climb for the belt in the ring, but Takeshita powerbombs them both and murders Rush on a ladder. So that leaves Takeshita by himself, but ELP saves with superkicks. Takeshita takes him to the apron and smashes him with knees before powerbombing him through a table to win over the crowd. Takeshita climbs again, but Briscoe saves this time and drops Takeshita onto a ladder after a couple of tries. And then Perry takes out Briscoe with a chair and claims the TNT title at 16:52. This was the usual crazy AEW ladder match and your enjoyment of those will of course dictate your reaction here. It certainly delivered what it promised. ***1/4. I think the storyline would have been stronger if they just had Perry get awarded the title and then defend it here, instead of having to earn it.

TBS title: Mercedes Mone v. Stephanie Vaquer

Vaquer attacks with a headbutt to start and gets two off that, and they trade gymnastic takedowns and battle to a stalemate. Mercedes with an armdrag into a crossface, and Vaquer makes the ropes and escapes to the floor. Back in, Mone with double knees for two. Back to the floor and catches her with a diving knee on the way back into the ring and then follows with a springboard dive to the floor. Back in, Mercedes with the triple suplex, but Vaquer counters into a leglock. Vaquer with a headscissors and she slams Mercedes’s head repeatedly into the mat for two with that, but goes up and lands in a dropkick from Mercedes. Mercedes comes back with a DDT for two. The crowd starts cheering for Stephanie and she rolls up Mone for two and adds a legdrop for two. Another one misses and Mercedes tries to roll into the Moneymaker, but Vaquer escapes and they clothesline each other for the double down. They slug it out and Vaquer rolls her up for two and takes her down with the crossface, but Mercedes spins her into her own crossface and the crowd turns on Mone. Vaquer powers out of it and takes her down with a gutbuster. Mercedes gets a pair of backstabbers, fully turning herself heel, and goes up with a frog splash that hits the boots. Vaquer takes her down with a nasty dragon screw and follows with double knees in the corner for two. Mercedes with another crossface and the crowd is deeply into Boston hate now and very distracted, and the Moneymaker and crossface finish at 16:52. This was…something. Vaquer made a very good showing for herself but the crowd was doing their own thing. Still, I can’t hold that against Vaquer, who had a hell of a performance here. ***1/2. But then, finally, Dr. Britt Baker DMD returns for a staredown and that should be a big one.

IWGP World title: Jon Moxley v. Tetsuya Naito

Red Shoes of course is referee here. They slug it out to start and Jon puts the boots to him in the corner, so Naito gives him the old HAWK TUAH and takes a break outside. Back in, Moxley with clotheslines in the corner and he shows us his tranquilo side, although we all know that Mox has ZERO chill based on the tweets of his poor suffering wife. But he does love This Is Us apparently. Mox works the knee and slams Naito on the Spanish table. Red Shoes is having NONE OF THAT and sternly sends Moxley back into the ring. Back in, Naito spits on him again, so Moxley beats him down and goes to a leglock. Mox with a stalling piledriver, which gets two. They fight to the top and Mox takes a bump to the floor off that. Nigel: “I’ve always said that if you want to hurt someone’s leg, push them from a high place.” Put this man in the announcer Hall of Fame. Naito beats on Mox with a pool noodle and slugs away in the ring, and then back in for a low dropkick and corner clothesline. That gets two. Mox with a knee strike, but Naito cradles for two. They head to the top again and Mox brings him down with a powerbomb for two this time. Naito reverses the Death Rider into a tornado DDT. Naito with the Diamond Dust, but Mox reverses the Destino into a choke. Another try hits for Naito, but he tries again and Mox reverses him into the Paradigm Shift this time and both are down. Mox blasts him with the lariat and the Death Rider gets two. I would respectfully disagree with that one. Mox gets a chair and Red Shoes gets rid of it, pissing Moxley off even more, and Naito reverses out of a DDT as a result. Naito with a brainbuster and another Destino regains the IWGP title at 17:00. Naito winning was pretty predictable and this was an underwhelming match that never left second gear and was a huge disappointment. **1/2. I dunno, time comes for everyone eventually, even Naito. It’s been kind of a whole thing with the New Japan connection where the current stars aren’t really on AEW TV and Tony Khan is firmly stuck in 2010 and using all the guys who were elite 15 years ago. Like I love Murder Grampa but I don’t think I need to see him on TV anymore, ya know?

AEW World title: Swerve Strickland v. Will Ospreay

Ospreay is repping Hayabusa tonight, and Swerve has someone named Jim Jones with him who Excalibur explains in great detail and none of it means anything to me. But hey, I’m sure there’s kids out there watching this who feel the same about Hayabusa. All I’m saying is, call me when you get Jefferson Starship to reunite and sing Orange’s theme song live, Ok? They exchange forearms to start and no sell each others’ ranas, fighting to a stalemate as the crowd goes nuts. They trade chops in the corner and Swerve plays some mindgames, so Will boots him off the apron and follows with a dive. Back in, they slug it out and Ospreay unleashes some chops, but Swerve trips him up and hits him with the springboard uppercut. Swerve with a pair of neckbreakers and another one in the ropes before pounding him down with more chops. Ospreay snaps back with a handspring kick to put Swerve on the floor, but he tries a springboard off the railing and Swerve trips him up to set up a crazy rana off the railing by Ospreay. Back in, Will with a springboard forearm for two. Swerve with a backbreaker to block a big boot and he hiptosses Ospreay into a short arm scissors. Ospreay makes the ropes to escape that. Swerve beats on the arm to be a dick and they slug it out with forearms and then do an amazing series of counters until Ospreay gets a powerbomb for two and into a Styles Clash for two. Swerve counters an Ozcutter with a stomp while the camera cuts to Daniel Garcia in the stands at the worst time. Stop trying to make Daniel Garcia happen, it’s never gonna happen. Swerve boots him to the apron and they head out there for a battle on the top rope as the crowd holds their breath, and Swerve brings him down with an Angle Slam for two. They fight to the apron again and Ospreay tries an Ozcutter out there, but Swerve dodges him and Ospreay lands on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. Ospreay retreats to the table, and Swerve dives onto him with a Swerve Stomp from the top and onto the announce desk. And it doesn’t break. Replay shows Ospreay’s incredible timing as he jumps into the bump. Back to the railing, as Swerve piledrives him on top of the railing, and back in for his own Glamorous Driver that gets two. Swerve goes up and Ospreay brings him down with a top rope Ozcutter, and then another one gets two. Hidden Blade is blocked by Swerve, so Ospreay superkicks him , but Swerve snaps the arm and Ospreay rolls him up for two. Another Ozcuttersets up the Tiger Driver, but he goes with the Stormbreaker instead for two. Another try at the Tiger Driver, but Swerve rolls him up for two and goes up with the Swerve Stomp, which misses. Ref gets bumped off that and Ospreay hits the Hidden Blade with no ref. And this brings out Don Callis, who presents Will with a screwdriver and then gets taken out by Nana. So Ospreay goes after Nana and decides against murdering him with a screwdriver, but he walks into a House Call kick as a result and the Swerve Stomp gets two. So Swerve snaps the arm, hits another House Call Kick, and that gets two. Ospreay is BACK and fired up, but Swerve just catches his drunken attempt at the Hidden Blade and throws him down sadly, before hitting another House Call and the JML Driver to finish at 27:00. Awesome match, what more can you say? *****

This was definitely an uneven show, but the main event completely delivered and both of the challengers in the women’s matches made themselves into stars. Not up there in the pantheon of all time great AEW PPVs thanks to Naito being lazier than Orange Cassidy and nearly ruining that match single-handledly, but it’s an easy thumbs up and worth your $50.