The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynasty 2024 – 04.21.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynasty – 04.21.24

Gonna be tough for them to top Broken Matt Hardy coming out at the end of the TNA PPV but I guess we’ll just have to wait and see if they can.

Live from St. Louis, MO

Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz and Jim Ross

AEW Continental title: Kazuchika Okada v. Pac

We get a hearty “holy shit” chant before they even lock up. They trade wristlocks to start and Pac takes him down with a headlock and works on that. Pac takes him down with a rana and sends him to the floor off that, and then follows with a dive and runs him into the railing a few times to work the arm. Back in the ring, Pac brings him in with a top rope superplex for two. To the top, but Okada dropkicks him to the floor and runs him into the railing to take over. Back in with a low dropkick and then the patented Okada dropkick to put Pac on the floor, and he follows with a draping DDT off the railing, complete with an arrogant supervillain laugh about dropping him on his head. Pac beats the count at 9, but Okada still has the Elon Musk smirk and hits him with another DDT in the ring, for two. Okada with the chinlock, but Pac puts him on the floor and follows with a springboard moonsault, going so high that he nearly overshoots the move. Back in, they slug it out and Pac gets a flying forearm and goes up with a missile dropkick for two. Pac throws kicks, but Okada dodges him and fires off a german suplex. Pac lands on his feet and hits his own, but Okada pops up and dropkicks Pac into the corner for the double down. Pac charges and Okada catches him in the neckbreaker for two. To the top for a flying elbow and he goes to Make it Rain, but then flips off the crowd instead in an amazing spot. Pac cradles him for two while he’s busy with that, and then the fickle crowd chants “Fuck Okada” for some reason. No pleasing some people. Pac with a clothesline and deadlift german for two. Pac with the big boot in the corner and he goes for the Black Arrow, but Okada moves and follows with a tombstone. Pac blocks the Rainmaker and rolls through for two, and a rollup also gets two. Okada goes for another neckbreaker and Pac counters with the Brutalizer in mid-air, so Okada rakes his eyes to escape. Another tombstone, but Pac reverses to his own and goes up for another Black Arrow. But this time Okada grabs the referee like a coward, so Pac readjusts and tries it again. But this time it hits the knees, and the RAAAAAAAAAAINMAKER finishes at 22:00 to retain. What a chess match this was! This Okada fella, he’s pretty good. Pretty pretty pretty good. ****1/2

The House of Black v. Adam Copeland, Eddie Kingston & Mark Briscoe

Still don’t know why this isn’t just a TNT title match against Malakai. The House works on Mark’s arm to start, but Copeland comes in for a double-team on Buddy and slugs away in the corner. Over to Black, who reconsiders and then brings Brody in instead. Over to Eddie for the chopfest and Brody absorbs all of that and hits a Bossman slam. Cannonball gets two. Buddy with a slingshot senton for two, so Eddie offers him a free shot to the head, and Buddy dropkicks him for two. Black with his own dropkick for two. Eddie dropkicks him with a german suplex and brings in Briscoe, who unleashes REDNECK KUNG FU to put Buddy on the floor for a baseball slide. Everyone brawls on the floor and Mark sets up a chair on the apron and then dives off it to take out Brody. Man that seems a bit unsafe. They slug it out on the apron and that goes badly for Mark, as Brody intercepts him and smashes him into the railing with a death valley driver. Back in, that gets two for Malakai. Brody chokes him out in the corner and Black follows with a back elbow for two and goes to a chinlock. They beat on Briscoe in the corner, but Copeland gets a hot tag and cleans House of Black. He slugs it out on the top rope with Brody and then Eddie stops by and chops Brody so hard that he falls over in excitement. This sets up a double Tower of Doom spot and everyone is out. Everyone trades big bombs and Copeland hits the Impaler on Brody, setting up the Froggy Bow from Briscoe for two. Black saves and we get another pier-sixer, leading to the babyfaces hitting triple spears. But then Black sprays Copeland with the black mist to block another spear, and finishes with the Black Mass kick at 17:50. Copeland getting pinned to set up another challenger was the right finish, but the match was a few fun spots with not much holding it together over that length. ***

TBS title: Julia Hart v. Willow Nightingale

Willow immediately wallops Julia and slugs away, but she goes up and Julia superkicks her to the floor. Back in, Julia chokes her out on the ropes and then goes to a rear chinlock. Willow reverses to a sleeper, but Julia puts the boots to her and Willow puts her down with a spinebuster. Willow with the hip attack, but she goes up and misses a dropkick, allowing Julia to get Heartless. Tony notes that she’s got a long way to the ropes, but there’s no rope breaks here anyway. So Willow slams out of it for two, but Julia puts her down and goes up for a moonsault attempt that misses. Willow with the lariat and she makes the comeback with the doctor bomb to win the title clean as a sheet at 6:00. Well we all know where this is leading at the next show. **. And speaking of which, Mercedes joins us afterwards and we get the staredown. Honestly this whole thing felt like a TV segment more than a PPV match.

AEW International title: Roderick Strong v. Kyle O’Reilly

Kyle wins a wrestling battle on the mat and blocks a sunset flip with an armbar attempt. Strong makes the ropes, so Kyle drops a knee onto Roddy’s arm. They trade chops and Kyle beats on him with kicks, but Strong puts him down with a heel kick for two. Kyle tries to jump up with a knee strike, but Roddy counters him with a backbreaker and they fight to the top. Roddy drops him on the top turnbuckle with a backbreaker, but Kyle tries to grab a triangle and Strong slugs out of it. They trade shots and Strong puts him down with a backbreaker and then follows with a second one to put him down again. Kyle fights up, so Strong hits him with a torture rack into a backbreaker for two. Kyle knees out of End of Heartache and puts Strong down with a good strike combo before dropping into a kneebar, but Strong makes the ropes. Strong with an Angle Slam and he tags Kyle with the running elbows on the ropes, but he hangs himself in the ropes on a missed knee strike and Kyle guillotines him as a result. Flying knee sets up another kneebar, but Strong makes the ropes, so they trade more shots and Strong gets yet another backbreaker for two. That back’s not getting any more broken, boys. Strong with a superplex and they trade cradles off that for two, but Strong puts him down with the Sick Kick and they trade chops. They throw some really stiff bombs and Strong goes for another backbreaker, but Kyle counters and they’re both down and out. Strong with a powerbomb, but Kyle reverses into a guillotine, so Strong clotheslines him on the top rope to break. And here comes Wardlow to run interference, but Kyle gets a pair of cradles for two. Strong manages to hit End of Heartache, but Kyle rebounds off the ropes with a lariat and a brainbuster into the armbar. Strong makes the ropes and comes back with a heel kick and End of Heartache to finish at 17:17. Thankfully the interference didn’t factor into the finish, which was instead just Strong pounding the back like a machine and then finishing with one big backbreaker. Tremendous scientific battle. ****1/4. And then Adam Cole wheels out and miraculously rises and walks to the ring before shooting some pretty serious side-eye at Wardlow.

FTW title: Hook v. Chris Jericho

Interesting note as Taz notes that he made sure to “smarten Hook up” about all the creeps in wrestling, including Chris Jericho, so he’d be shocked if Hook ever really trusted Jericho. Hook grabs a headlock while the crowd chants “Fozzy Sucks”, and Hook gets a pair of suplexes and clotheslines him to the floor. Jericho runs him into the table and sets up another table at ringside, but Hook suplexes him out there and gets two. Hook beats on him a trash can lid, but Jericho kicks it away and DDTs Hook on that for two. Back in the ring, Jericho boots him down, but they fight to the apron and Hook suplexes him through the table with a terrifying suplex that gets two. Back in with a german suplex as the crowd now picks up a “Go Home Jericho, Go Home” chant. Really speaking for all of us there. To the top, and Jericho brings him down with a rana for two. This match is kind of dying. Jericho brings some plunder in, but Hook suplexes him again and they’re both down. Hook puts a trash can on him and suplexes him while he’s wearing it, and that gets two. Another table gets set up in the corner, but Jericho catches him with the Codebreaker and then misses a fistdrop. Hook with the choke, but Jericho slams him through the table to break as this is like a weird tribute match to ECW 2000 or something. That gets two. Hook counters the Judas Effect with a kneebar, but Jericho turns that into the Walls and Hook cradles for two. Jericho goes low and follows with the Judas, but that gets two. I think that’s one of the only people to ever kick out of that move. Another Judas gets two. So Jericho gets sick of it and grabs Floyd the bat, but Hook flips him off, so Jericho nails him with the bat and pins him at 16:34 to win the title. Taz actually stood up and teased intervening, but ultimately didn’t do anything. This was not good and the more Jericho leans into annoying the crowd and overstaying his welcome, the worse he gets. *1/2. There’s lot of weird metatextual layers going on here and I think Jericho might be doing some kind of CM Punk character riff. But that being said, some people can run with that character and reinvent themselves, but Jericho has reinvented himself enough and it’s just time to GO AWAY FOR A WHILE.

AEW World Women’s title: Toni Storm v. Thunder Rosa

Rosa has a whole new look here and slugs it out with Toni to start, going with a no makeup look that looks way better. I know the sugar skull stuff is her iconic deal, but as a man, I feel like…you know I’m just gonna quit while I’m ahead. Rosa with a headscissors to put Toni on the floor and she follows with a spinning dive with Luther being right on the spot to catch. Back in the ring, Rosa with a snap suplex for two. Toni takes her down and works the back as the match has some pretty good heat going. They fight to the top and Rosa brings her down with a powerbomb for two. Samoan drop and crucifix bomb gets two for Rosa. To the apron and Rosa hits a death valley driver on the HARDEST PART OF THE RING and back in for two. She tries a piledriver and her back gives out, and Toni takes her down with a backstabber in the corner and follows with a DDT and fisherman’s suplex for two. Rosa with a double stomp for two. Another one misses and Storm gets the Sky High for two. Toni works the back and they slug it out, but Toni puts her down with a headbutt. Rosa with an enzuigiri but Storm hits a german suplex, so Rosa fires back with her own and they’re both down. Mariah takes the ref, but Deonna takes her out and they fight back to the dressing room while Storm throws another german suplex and follows with the hip attack. Storm Zero gets two. So Storm gets the cloverleaf, but Rosa gets the ropes and hits a backstabber and cobra clutch on the mat. Toni makes the ropes and drags the ring apron to distract the ref, and then goes right to the LADY YAMBAGS and finishes with the Storm Zero at 15:11 to retain. Don’t know where this one came from but Rosa BROUGHT IT tonight so kudos to her. This was tremendously entertaining and Storm mostly got rid of the schtick and just wrestled. ****

Bryan Danielson v. Will Ospreay

Well this is actually happening. Nigel notes that Bryan’s dream of dying in the ring while bleeding matches up with his own dream of Bryan dying in the ring while bleeding. They trade headlocks on the mat while the crowd loses their damn minds and it’s a stalemate. They fight for a wristlock and Danielson takes him down for SMALL JOINT MANIPULATION and it’s another stalemate. They block each others’ strikes and Will flips over Bryan off the handspring and throws some nasty kicks that Bryan only barely avoids. They trade chops and Bryan takes him down by the ankle and goes to work on that and then switches to a cravat. But then Will flips out of that and dropkicks Bryan, just effortlessly cool out there. They trade chops and Ospreay goes DOWN off that, so Bryan keeps coming with them until Ospreay necks him on the top rope and boots him to the floor. He follows with a dive, but springboards into the ring and lands on a kick to the spleen. Bryan with another kick and that gets two.

Bryan wraps him up in a deathlock on the mat and beats on the injured midsection. They trade more chops and Ospreay hits the handspring into the head kick. Springboard elbow gets two. Ospreay flips off Bryan and hits an enzuigiri to put him on the floor, and then follows with a crossbody to the floor, landing on his feet again in one motion. Back in the ring, Bryan escapes the Hidden Blade and hits a tiger suplex for two. Cattle Mutilation follows, but Ospreay makes the ropes. Danielson with the corner kick and a rana off the top, but Ospreay lands on his feet like a complete badass, BRUV, and boots Danielson into a tiger driver for two. He goes up and Bryan brings him down with a top rope tiger suplex, which gets two. Danielson with the kicks and Ospreay would like some more, bruv, and even Danielson is hesitant now. So he does a weak slap and Ospreay knocks him cold as a result, and they head to the apron and continue trading out there. Os-Cutter on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING, sends Bryan to the floor and Will follows with a Hidden Blade off the apron while the ref is checking on Bryan. The crowd chanting “We’re not worthy” is certainly a new one. Bryan beats the count, but Ospreay dives on him with a shotgun dropkick and follows with a powerbomb for two. Ospreay with the kicks, but Bryan catches the cutter and tries for the Lebell Lock.

Will reverses out of that, so Bryan flips him into a guillotine and then spins with La Mistica into the Lebell Lock. Just incredible high level wrestling. Ospreay tries to make the ropes and Bryan bends the arm, so Will uses his feet instead. Bryan with the Yes Kicks, but Will catches the knee and tries a powerbomb, which Bryan reverses into a rollup for two. Ospreay with a rollup for two and he tries the Hidden Blade, but Bryan ducks it and hits the bu saiku knee for two. And now it’s time to kick his head in, and into another submission attempt, but Ospreay slugs out of it and then levels him with elbow strikes until he gets suckered into a triangle. So Will just pops up and puts him down with a Styles Clash and they’re both down. So they trade headbutts and Bryan just unloads on him with strikes and follows with a capture suplex, but Will pops up and hits the back elbow, only to try the cutter and land on a bu saiku knee for another double down. Will is up first and wins the battle of attrition with the TIGER DRIVER 97, and the Hidden Blade finishes at 32:45. What else can this get but SIX STARS. Afterwards, Bryan is in some neck-related distress and the doctors check on him, but the replay clearly shows he took the bump like a normal powerbomb and not the insane Kenny Omega way. Here, I’ll type out the rating with the asterisks just to make it official. ******1/2. Oops, added another half of a star there, OH WELL. File a complaint with the office. I’ll print off the forms for you.

AEW World tag team titles: FTR v. The Young Bucks

This is of course a ladder match because I guess they wanted a challenge in topping that last match. Bucks immediately try the EVP Trigger on Dax but miss it, and FTR goes for the ladders early. So they all fight on the floor and the Bucks run them into the railing and try for the climb in the ring, only for Dax to save. Everyone slugs it out and Nicholas goes up, but Dax slams him onto the ladder and they all fight onto the floor again. Nicholas splashes Cash onto a ladder on the apron as they’re going a million miles an hour and Dax is busted open in honor of the absent Jon Moxley. So the Bucks sandwich Dax in the ladder and beat on him with chairs. Both FTR get whipped into the ladder in the corner. Back to the floor and Dax gets run into a ladder bridge, but Cash moonsaults the Bucks off the ladder, only to get crotched on it as a result. So Cash is helpless and they hit an EVP Trigger, leaving Dax alone for the time being. The Bucks try to suplex Dax to the floor, but FTR recovers with double suplexes and Cash makes the comeback with a powerslam on Nicholas. Elevated bulldog on Matthew and Dax gets a Sharpshooter to follow while Cash climbs for the belts, but Nicholas saves and knocks him off. Dax hits him with a slingshot powerbomb and Cash spears Matthew off the apron and through a table at ringside, and that bump looked like it sucked. And then Nicholas hits Dax with a rana off the apron and through another table, although that was at an awkward angle and THAT also must have sucked. So Cash is alone out of this madness and he makes the climb, but Matthew follows and they slug it out up there. Everyone goes down but Matthew, but FTR brings him down with a Shatter Machine. Nicholas goes up and tries to come off the ladder, but Dax cuts him off and we get the PowerPlex off ladders. Cash makes the climb and the Bucks push the ladder over and then we get a 450 through the table on one side of the ring and a piledriver through the ladder bridge on the other side. Back in the ring, Cash decides to try a dive and goes smashing through a table at ringside instead. “Please be careful!” the crowd notes as Nicholas and Dax climb for the belts. Dax wins that battle and knocks him down, but a “fan” runs in and pushes the ladder over, revealing himself to be the SCAPEGOAT, who allows Nicholas to climb again and claim the titles at 21:45. And the Bucks tell the crowd to “cry them a river” on the way out. Well I think we all saw that finish coming but it was still the right one. This wasn’t their best ever match but they were determined to kill themselves trying and you have to respect that. ****

AEW World title: Samoa Joe v. Swerve Strickland

Swerve with the Black Panther gear tonight. Joe immediately hits him with a knee and walks away from a Swerve springboard, but Swerve hits him from behind anyway and sends him to the floor. So Joe is like “OK, so that’s how it is” and slams him on the table for his troubles before beating on him out there. Joe pulls up the mat and Swerve dives onto him with a Fosbury flop. Another is caught by Joe and he tries a Muscle Buster, but then settles for a powerslam on the exposed concrete instead. Back in the ring, Joe slugs away in the corner and then puts him down with a vicious legsweep right out of Karate Kid. Joe follows with a head kick and drops an elbow for two. Back to the floor after more of a beating on Swerve, and Swerve goes after the arm. Swerve with the german suplex for two off that. Swerve rolls into the flatliner for two, and they fight to the top, where Swerve brings him down with a single arm DDT into a short arm scissors. Joe escapes that with the Muscle Buster and that gets two. He goes for the belt and Swerve cuts him off with the House Call kick and 450, but he goes up to finish and the Swerve Stomp only gets two. So Joe gets dirty and rakes the eyes, but Swerve goes for the belt and Joe hooks him in the Coquina clutch. So Swerve goes for the fingers to force the break and snaps the arm. House Call Kick gets two off that. Swerve goes up and Joe cuts him off, but Swerve smothers him and brings him down with a powerbomb. That sets up another Swerve Stomp and Swerve is the AEW World champion at 18:00. And when the time came, Joe put him over strong and clean and made him a star. ****1/4. Now hopefully they get behind him and follow through to let him shine like we know he can.

I hated the Jericho match, although I’m not convinced that isn’t by design, but suck is still suck. Otherwise, this show was INCREDIBLE top to bottom and even the Toni Storm match way overdelivered. THUMBS UP.