The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 12.06.23

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 12.06.23

Live from Montreal, QC

Your hosts are Taz, Tony Schiavone & Excalibur

Continental Classic: Jon Moxley v. Rush

They trade chops to start and Rush immediately drops Mox on his shoulder with a suplex, and that looked like it sucked. Out to the floor and Rush takes him into the crowd for a brawl out there, and Rush steal’s some poor guy’s beer and hits Mox with that. Careful, that’s a hanging offense in Canada. Right up there with disparaging Ketchup chips. Back in the ring, Rush chokes him out in the corner and offers some tranquilo, but Mox just gets madder and they trade forearms. Rush with a powerslam for two. But then he stops to kick the imaginary field goal and Mox hits him with a cutter and a superplex for two. They fight to the apron and Rush suplexes him into the railing as we take a break. Back with Moxley making a comeback and trying the piledriver, but Rush reverses to his own and that gets two. Superplex gets two. Mox sends him to the floor and follows with a tope, and they both barely beat the count back in. They slug it out and Rush tries the Bull’s Horns, but Mox fights back with more forearms, so Rush headbutts him and beats him down again. Another try at the horns, but Mox hits him with the lariat and a Death Rider for two. Bulldog choke and Rush is out at 14:39. Man they finally found someone willing to give it right back to Rush and this was pretty awesome. ****

Meanwhile, Jay White and his sweet exotic accent set up the backstory with fellow Jay, Jay Lethal.

Roderick Strong joins Renee and the crowd is incredibly into the “ADAM!” thing. And then in a miracle of epic proportions, Roderick decides that he’s finally NECK STRONG enough to rise from the wheelchair like Linda McMahon at Wrestlemania X-7. I have not been this inspired since the ending of Dances with Wolves.

Meanwhile, Hangman shows up for the first time since the PPV, and he’s going to make sure Swerve never gets what he wants out of life more than anything. If it’s a match with Keith Lee, Tony Khan is WAY ahead of him. But then MJF interrupts and makes fun of “both guys getting STDs” during their Texas Death match and they reminisce about their past making each other miserable. And then Max accuses him of being the devil, which Page laughs off and turns it back on Max. But then Joe stops in and breaks up a potential fight.

Continental Classic: Mark Briscoe v. Swerve Strickland

They take it to the mat to start and Mark controls with headlocks to frustrate Swerve, as Tony points out that Mark is playing it safe while facing elimination and then makes a Freudian slip and calls it WCW. Swerve gets tired of the mat wrestling and puts the boots to him to take over. Mark sends him to the floor and they fight on the apron, however, and Briscoe wins a brawl out there. But then they fight into the crowd and Swerve suplexes him back into the ringside area as we take a break. Back with Swerve hitting a neckbreaker in the ropes, which sets up the arm snap, but Mark fights out and makes the comeback with REDNECK KUNG FU. Fisherman’s Buster gets two. Swerve gets a nice reversal into a german suplex and the head kick gets two. To the top and they fight for a superplex, but Briscoe slugs him down and to the floor and then follows with a dive. Back in the ring for a lariat that gets two. Swerve escapes the Jay Driller and goes up with a 450, but that hits the knees and Mark cradles for two. Death valley driver and Briscoe goes up for the froggy bow, but he also hits the knees and Swerve gets two. Those were a pair of great near falls. They fight to the apron and Swerve gets his own death valley driver on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING, and back in for the Swerve Stomp to finish and eliminate Mark at 15:49. Damn they done Briscoe so dirty in this tournament. He went out with an awesome match, though. ****1/4

Meanwhile, Mariah May announces that her debut in the ring is imminent. Probably not tonight because that would mean putting on two women’s matches in the same show.

Samoa Joe & MJF v. The Devil’s Masked Men

Joe makes his entrance for the match, but then the lights go out and the henchmen surround the ring, only for the Devil to reveal MJF laid out in the parking lot. Unless they’ve got something big planned for later, that’s a pretty huge bait and switch for no reason.

Meanwhile, Moxley and Swerve have a showdown backstage over their 9 point leads, and in fact they meet next week.

AEW Women’s title: Toni Storm v. Skye Blue

The intro from the TCM host, comparing her to “Garbo, Brando or Groucho” got a laugh out of me. They trade headlocks to start and Toni gets worked up and smashes Skye with a forearm, but Skye gets a headscissors to put her on the floor. So Lutha assists with a piggyback ride for Storm and they throw Skye off the apron and stop for a black and white pose. Toni with a hip attack into the railing and we take a break. Back with Skye making a eomback with a crossbody for two, but Storm hits her with a german suplex. Skye gets her own hip attack in the corner to set up Code Blue for two. But then Toni gets a superplex for two and hits her own hip attack. Blue counters the piledriver with a rollup for two, but Storm reverses again for the pin to retain at 9:22. This was fine. **1/2. But then Riho returns again and presumably sets up our next thing.

Continental Classic: Jay Lethal v. Jay White

The crowd immediately chants “Double J”, obviously as upset as I am at the lack of Jeff Jarrett in this tournament. They trade struts and Lethal puts him down with a dropkick to win that battle, so White goes after the knee and hits a DDT for two. We take a break and return with Lethal hitting a dive while the crowd continues to amuse themselves. Back in for a rolling torture rack from Lethal and the flying elbow for two. White takes out the knee again and suplexes him into the corner, and a brainbuster gets two. They slug it out while the crowd continues cheering for “Jay” and White gets a sleeper suplex, but Lethal counters the Blade Runner into a rollup for two. Another rollup, but White reverses that for the pin at 11:31 to eliminate Lethal from the tournament. Not much to the match to be honest, as the crowd was completely disinterested with anything but chanting and the guys seemed distracted by it. **1/4

TNT title: Christian Cage v. Adam Copeland

Copeland immediately smacks him and tries for a choke on the mat, but Christian makes the ropes. So Adam takes him to the apron and beats on him out there before hitting a spear to the floor, and then further kicks his ass and smashes him into the announce table a few times. Back in, Christian goes for a low blow and Adam stomps on the fingers to stop it. Copeland takes him to the floor for further abuse, but Cage sends him into the crowd as we take a break. Back with Christian in control with a chinlock, and they do a questionable legsweep spot off the middle rope, but regroup with a fight onto the apron as Copeland hits a clothesline to the floor. Cage runs him into the stairs and comes back in with a frog splash for two, however. Copeland counters a spear with the Impaler for two. They fight to the top and Christian goes after the fingers, but Copeland brings him down with a powerbomb for two. Christian tries the Killswitch and Copeland reverses out of that with an Edge O Matic for two. Copeland with a crossface and Cage makes the ropes. So Copeland just beats him down on the mat, but Christian dodges the spear and hits the Killswitch for two. Christian with his own spear, but that misses, so he kicks the ref in the nuts instead and they collide for the double down. And that brings out Nick Wayne’s Mom, who grabs the TNT title and knocks Copeland out to make the only choice any woman could, and the Killswitch finishes at 18:02 to retain. Ugh, that was a complete WWE finish. Match was good but the ref bump and needless screwjob finish completely ruined it for me. ***

The wrestling was good, but that bait and switch tag match was so egregious that I don’t even know what they were thinking booking it in the first place. MJF can’t work obviously, and we don’t even know who the masked men are, so why even advertise the match? I don’t even mean we don’t know their true identities, I mean we still have no idea what they even want or who their target is. I was hoping they’d wrap it up tonight but instead it just gets kicked down the road again with another non-match.

Overall, a disappointing show with a hot crowd.