The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 11.29.23

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 11.29.23

Live from Minneapolis, MN

Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz & Tony Schiavone

Bryan Danielson joins us for commentary as well, and he’s still WEARING THE EYEPATCH. This man is a gift we don’t deserve.

Continental Classic: Jon Moxley v. Jay Lethal

They trade headlocks to start and Jay immediately takes him down with the figure-four, but Moxley rolls out to the floor to escape. Jay hits him with a dive into the railing, but he stops to do some strutting and that allows Mox to fire back with his own dive. Back in the ring, Mox slugs away in the corner, but Lethal kicks the leg from under his leg and takes him down with a dragon screw to take over. Mox fights back with forearms, but Lethal gets a kneebreaker and goes up with the flying elbow for two. Mox goes flying into the railing as we take a break. Back with Moxley making a comeback, but they fight to the top and Lethal takes him down to the mat with another dragon screw. Mox fights back again and hits a lariat this time, but Lethal comes back with a Lethal Combination for two. Figure-four is reversed to a cradle for two by Moxley. Rollup gets two. Lethal with own rollup for two, but Mox counters with the choke, and Lethal reverses out of that and into the figure-four. Mox makes the ropes to escape and his knee gives out while Lethal tries the Lethal Injection, but Mox was of course FAKING, and hits the Death Rider and another lariat to set up a piledriver for two. But now he’s had enough and puts Lethal into the choke and Jay taps out at 11:34, giving Moxley 6 points and Lethal still 0. ***1/4

Meanwhile, Eddie Kingston is already feeling unsure of himself after losing the opener to Brody King, and now he’s gotta face Bryan Danielson and he’s not OK with that. But he’s humble in victory and humble in defeat.

And then Bryan does his reply, and he’s NOT humble in victory and NOT humble in defeat and he’s gonna beat Eddie’s ass even with one eye. Careful Eddie, don’t get him too mad or you might get fired and have to go crawling to WWE.

Meanwhile, Sting and Ric Flair join Tony, as we learn that the final Sting match will take place in the Greensboro Coliseum, and Ric is pretty sure he’s gonna be there for it.

Continental Classic: Mark Briscoe v. Rush

So they beat the SHIT out of each other right away and Briscoe chokes him out in the corner, but Rush fires back with chops and he’s still doing the phantom field goal gimmick. I admire his dedication to the bit. Briscoe tosses him and follows with a dropkick to the floor and they brawl out there until Briscoe suplexes him onto the railing. Cactus elbow off the apron (Taz: “Hey I know that guy!”) and back in for a lariat from Briscoe for a double down as we take a break. Back with Rush working the leg until Mark makes the ropes, but Rush suplexes him into the corner. Briscoe blocks the Bull’s Horns and gets a neckbreaker for two off that. Enzuigiri and they fight to the apron, but Rush suplexes him to the floor for a great bump from Briscoe. Back in the ring, they slug it out on top and Mark drops the froggy ‘bow for two. Rush cuts him off again and elbows him into the corner, and follows with the Bull’s Horns to finish at 11:55. This was wild as fuck, but I really hope Briscoe doesn’t end up as the job guy for everyone in the gold block. ****

Meanwhile, Timeless Toni Storm and her entourage chat with RJ City about the after-party last week, but next week she has to defend her newly won title. Even with swollen feet.

MJF joins us and discusses watching Samoa Joe early in his TNA career and how he was misused in WWE, but he’s not too shabby himself, and then he cuts a hell of a babyface promo about how Joe is going to have to kill him at World’s End in order to beat him. But then the lights go out and the Devil’s minions attack, before Joe makes the save. But they do a text-based challenge for a tag match next week, which of course MJF accepts, although Joe isn’t so sure. That felt like MJF setting Joe up for something, and maybe instead of Cole turning on MJF, it’ll just be Cole AND MJF turning together.

Wardlow v. AR Fox

This is stemming from Wardlow headbutting him backstage last week, and Fox decides to attack on the outside right away and that doesn’t go very well for him. Into the ring, Wardlow tosses him into the corner and Fox retreats to the floor, so Wardlow hurls him back in the ring again. Fox escapes a press slam and goes up with a 450 for one. So Fox puts the boots to Wardlow and he just soaks it up and chokeslams him before adding a powerbomb and then a Last Ride to end the match via stoppage at 3:30. This was a more interesting match than the usual Wardlow squash but this guy is still going nowhere.

Brother Zay & The Hardy Boyz v. Top Flight & Action Andretti

I wonder if Jeff Hardy is gonna take Sunny’s fall from grace as a life lesson? Anyway they’re nice enough to show the horrific Dante ankle injury before the match just in case I needed to throw up my supper. I know some people are campaigning for more women’s matches, but taking ideas from GLOW isn’t a great way to run a TV show. Andretti gets worked over in the Hardy corner to start and fights Jeff to a stalemate. Over to Darius, and he trades armdrags with Zay, and it’s over to Dante, who comes in with a slingshot senton as we take a break. Back with Andretti getting worked over again. Matt with a Side Effect for two. Andretti comes back with a kneelift and enzuigiri and makes the hot tag to Dante, and he runs wild and springboards onto Zay for two. Zay runs Darius into Dante and rolls up Dante for two, and then the Hardyz get all heelish and take out Andretti and Darius on the apron. Hardyz and Zay do a triple-team springboard dropkick on Dante for two, but Darius comes back and fights off the Hardyz outside. Back in the ring, the faces triple-team Zay and dropkick him into a german suplex from Dante to finish at 9:49. Tremendously fun trios match! ***1/2. Dante did not look like a guy recovering from a crippling ankle break. Hopefully they push the shit out of them now.

Meanwhile, Penta offers a trios match against Top Flight for their next challenge.

TBS title: Julia Hart v. Emi Sakura

House rules tonight are no submissions. Julia continues to be over as a babyface, and she beats on Sakura and hits a cartwheel clothesline in the corner. So Emi fires back with chops, but Julia takes her down and they fight to the floor. Emi runs her into the stairs with a crossbody and we take a break. Back with Sakura working her over in the ring and she hits the delayed backbreaker. Julia reverses her to a choke, but Sakura escapes that and goes for a moonsault, which misses. Julia with Hartless, but there’s no submissions, so Julia clotheslines her down and goes up for her own moonsault, which finishes at 8:08. I believe Miss Peacockery predicted this one would go 7:34 so Tony obviously decided to give them an extra 30 seconds to prove her wrong. Owned! Kind of an awkward one, especially the finishing moonsault. **

Meanwhile, Mariah May appeals to RJ City for a meeting with Tony Khan, and then just walks into his office anyway.

Christian Cage joins us with his security detail, and he calls out Adam Copeland and proceeds to give the most amazingly insincere apology in order to convince Adam to back down from the title match next week. So he points out that he’s all alone after Luchasaurus got taken out last week, and then corrects himself to “Killswitch” as the crowd just roasts him for it, and tells stories of Copeland being part of his family as a kid and going driving in his mom’s car and her wish for them to just reconcile and team up together one last time instead of fighting. But Christian wants to stress that he’s not Adam’s dad, even though he’s a father figure to many. And then Copeland just PUNTS him right in the nuts, tells him to go fuck himself (WHOOPS!), and leaves after making sure Cage shines up the title nice for him next week. This was an INCREDIBLE piece of business and these are just hitting it out of the park with this storyline. I can’t imagine them ending it cleanly next week either, they have to get this to the PPV for a blood match of some kind.

Continental Classic: Jay White v. Swerve Strickland

Swerve is getting bigger babyface pops each week now. We fight to the floor right away and Swerve runs him into the railing, and back in Jay necks him on the top rope, but tries a baseball slide and gets dropped on the railing as a result. Swerve double-stomps his back from the apron, but Jay catches him with a DDT on the way back in the ring as we take a break. Back with Swerve going for the arm and he slugs away on the ropes and then rolls into the flatliner and transitions right into a suplex for two. White with a flatliner of his own and into a german suplex, but Swerve puts him down with a lariat for the double down. They slug it out and Jay goes down first, but he takes out the knee from the ground and comes back with a uranage for two. White goes for the arm on the mat, but Swerve reverses out and snaps the arm in retaliation. So White goes for the ballshot behind the ref’s back, but Swerve has it scouted and blocks it with a backbreaker. Swerve to the top for the Swerve Stomp, and that gets two. He had me convinced on that one. White hits the Blade Runner out of nowhere, but Swerve bumps to the floor and Jay has to throw him back in and roll him up for two. Swerve with the jackknife cradle for two and they slug it out, but White hits the sleeper suplex. Another Blade Runner is reversed to a tight cradle from Swerve and that finishes at 16:04 to give Swerve 6 points in an incredible main event. ****1/4

Next week: Adam Copeland v. Christian Cage in Montreal!

Great show with a hot crowd. Crowd energy can really make a difference and this felt like a big show.