The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 09.16.26

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 09.16.26

Sorry I’m late this morning. Sasktel changed around the channels and my DVR hasn’t been recording for a few days now as a result, which I only found out about last night after the show started.

Live from Norfolk, VA

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Taz

Meanwhile, Cope and Cage meet up with Darby and Steven Borden, and Christian tries for the father joke and can’t land it, and then annoys Darby instead. Cope: “But we’re good for tonight, right?”

Meanwhile, Don Callis calls point that maybe Knight and Fletcher should also be in that ladder match, since they beat the Young Bucks last week and all.

Cope & Cage & Darby Allin & Steven Borden v. FTR & Kyle Fletcher & Kevin Knight

Big Stoke joins us on commentary, so annoying that even Tony wants Don Callis back. Fletcher and Cope trade armbars to start, and then Cage and Darby get into a little game of “who can tag last”. Darby wins that one and he double-teams Fletcher with help from Borden. That turns into a standoff with all eight guys before things calm down. Borden comes in and hits Dax with his patented dropkick for two, but Dax gets fired up and slugs him down with elbows before bailing to the floor. So Darby throws him back in and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA as we take a break. Back with the heels working on Darby in the corner, but he comes back with a sunset flip on Fletcher that’s blocked by Knight for a double down. Hot tag Borden and he runs wild as the heels fly around for him, especially Knight. Man they are all in on making this guy look like a star, you have to give them that. Dax takes him to the top for a superplex, but he fights Dax off while the crowd chants “Steve” with every punch. Darby tries a coffin splash on Fletcher but gets caught and suplexed, setting up a four-way Powerplex from the heels on Borden for two. Great visual there. Everyone brawls on the floor, leaving us with Dax and Borden, but Steve cradles for two. Dax slugs him down and puts him in the Scorpion Deathlock, but Christian hits Dax with a chair behind the ref’s back and Cope spears Knight to get rid of him. And the Deathdrop / Coffin Splash combo finishes Dax at 14:11. This one was the Borden Show and he delivered and the fans are completely with him. ***3/4. However, I will say, this man needs a kickass theme song and entrance to put him over the top.

Meanwhile, the Death Riders are feeling some type of way about Will Ospreay targeting Moxley. Because wearing a belt doesn’t make you the best. But Gabe Kidd wants some more immediate action taken.

Jericho v. Nick Wayne

As an old school Vancouver wrestling fan it’s still wild to me that Buddy Wayne married Moondog Moretti’s daughter and made Nick Wayne. Wayne puts Jericho down right away and puts the boots to him, but Jericho catches him with a backbreaker and follows with a delayed supelx, so delayed they should call it Coyote vs. Acme. They fight to the apron and Wayne tries a Spanish fly to the floor, but Jericho catches him and hits him with a death valley driver instead. Wayne with a destroyer off the stairs and we take a break. Back with Jericho beating on him with chops to make a comeback and he dropkicks Nick to the floor. Back in, Wayne goes up and Jericho catches him with a codebreaker on the way down. Wayne with a stunner into a sliced bread for two and superkicks him into the corner, where they fight to the top. Jerico brings him down with a rana, and then puts him on the other corner and hits him with another rana. But then Wayne pops up and hits him with Wayne’s World for two. But Jericho goes for the Walls and Wayne blocks, so Jericho BREAKS THE NECKLACE and Nick is so upset that Jericho is able to cradle him for the pin at 14:28. Afterwards, Jericho wants a handshake of respect, but Wayne kicks him in the nuts and beats him down. That was his favorite necklace! He’s 100% justified! Wayne put on a fantastic match and hopefully he gets his win back to pay it off, but also Jericho gonna Jericho so I’m 50/50 on whether it’ll happen. ****. The crowd chants “Where’s your mom?”, showing less sympathy.

Meanwhile, we learn that Mercedes is injured and out of All Out, so now the match is a #1 contender between Thekla and Willow. Thekla: “You were too busy shooting confetti out of your titties”. Well we’re not topping that one, shut the show down.

Meanwhile, Ospreay updates us on the United Empire, with Andrade now an official member. Which is “super awkward” because he keeps carrying around his magic contract.

The Conglomeration v. Hangman Page & Brodido

Hangman catches Kyle off a bodypress, but Kyle takes him down for an armbar attempt and Page counters for two. Over to Bandido and he takes Kyle down with armdrags, but gets kicked in the throat and the Conglomeration takes over. Over to Brody, who beats on Orange until he puts his hands in his pockets and to defend himself. This sets up a funny spot where Orange watches the big screen and sees Brody coming from behind him, and he takes more chops as we take a break. Back with Bandido hitting Orange with a suplex, and Hangman gets the tag, which is somewhat less than a hot tag for some reason. It’s a weird babyface v. babyface dynamic I guess. But Hangman runs wild anyway and takes Strong to the floor for a dive, and back in with a death valley driver for two. Strong fights back and tags out to O’Reilly, but Hangman hits him with a lariat and it’s back to Brody. They try for a triple-team, but the Conglomeration fights them off until Brody cannonballs them in the corner. They fight to the floor and brawl out there, leaving us with Bandido and Orange. Bandido with a press slam into the cutter for two and that’s a hell of a move. But then the Conglomeration triple-teams him to set up the Orange Punch for two. Strong and Hangman slug it out and Page wins that one, but Orange hits him with a bodypress and rides him like a horsie. So Hangman gives him that right back, but takes a lariat from Strong as a result. See, wrestling should be SERIOUS and that’s why. Orange beats on Brody with his devastating kicks, but Strong sees him about to get murdered and shoves him aside for his own good, and that allows Page to hit Strong with the buckshot lariat and pin him at 14:07. A very fun PARTY MATCH with hard work from everyone, although the crowd was confused about who to cheer for most of the way through. ***1/2

Meanwhile, on Collision, Danny Garcia wins the Butcher battle royal.

Tommaso Ciampa v. Myles Hawkins

Hey, I actually managed to spell Ciampa’s first name right on my first try this week! So Ciampa announces that he wants Okada at All Out, so I guess he just gets an International title match. And he hits Hawkins with the running knee and pins him at 0:38.

The New Level joins us, but the Demand attacks them and lays them out before Creed can even finish his wacky camera routine. See, wrestling is SERIOUS and that’s what offbeat shenanigans will get you.

Meanwhile, Jack Perry calls his shot and wants Samoa Joe to come teach him a lesson. That probably won’t go the way he wants.

Lena Kross v. Jamie Hayter

Renee reading off Alex Windsor’s promo by proxy is pretty funny, although that allows Kross to hit Hayter with a superkick at the bell. Also “chopping the tits off Megan Bayne” is an all day job so I don’t think they can pull it off. Hayter comes back with a corner clothesline and sends Kross to the apron. But then Kross drops her face on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING, and then follows with an apron bomb for good measure as we take a break. Back with Hayter coming back with a clothesline and a missile dropkick. To the top for another dropkick and that gets two. Kross comes back with a german suplex for two, but Jamie cradles for two. Kross puts her down with a neckbreaker and they slug it out, but Kross puts her down with a knee strike for two. Hayter with a knee strike for two. Hayter with the backbreaker for two. But then Bayne comes out, distracting the ref long enough for Kross to grab a handy pipe and smoke Hayter with it for the pin at 11:13. They had good chemistry and this was a hard-hitting match, like usual for Hayter. ***1/4

Meanwhile, Okada thinks Ciampa is a bitch, so Ciampa attacks him and demands a title match again.

Jon Moxley, Pac & Gabe Kidd v. Will Ospreay, Francesco Akira & Andrade El Idolo

We start with Mox and Ospreay right away, but then Mox lets Kidd have a go instead. So Will fights off the Death Riders and splashes Kidd for two. Akira comes in with a senton off Ospreay’s shoulders and the heels bail, setting up triple dives from the United Empire and a selfie opportunity. Back in the ring, the Death Riders go to work on Akira as we take a break. Back with Andrade getting the hot tag and running wild and stripping off the pants. The Empire works on Pac and Andrade hits him with the running knees in the corner and Ospreay gets an elbow for two. Pac fights back with chops and a german suplex, but Moxley comes in and Ospreay powerbombs him for two off another slugfest. Kidd makes the save, so Akira comes in and shows his stuff, fighting off the Death Riders alone and hitting a slingshot cutter on Mox for two. But then Kidd comes in and takes out Akira with a lariat and everyone hits the big moves until Akira rolls up a distracted Mox for two. So an amused Mox toys with Akira and smacks him around, leading to Akira fighting back with his own shots until Mox blasts him with a lariat. Paradigm Shift follows while the Death Riders take out the Empire on the floor. And the Bulldog choke ends it at 16:00. Well you knew who was taking the fall in this one. ***1/4. And the Dogs hit the ring for the mega heel beatdown, but Ospreay saves Akira from a potential Pillmanizing and chases off the heels to end the show.

A damn fine episode of Dynamite this week, with a great crowd and some more matches set up for All Out as well.