The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 08.05.26

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 08.05.26

So as mentioned, I had to delay this week’s episode because I was assisting with preparations for my daughter’s Sweet 16 party this weekend. I’m literally gonna lock myself in my office and probably watch old GI Joe episodes to drown out the madness happening in the rest of the house that night. Apparently it’s going to involve lots of Twilight and TikTok and I want no part of it.

Anyway, better late than never, I guess, and I’m completely unspoiled on the show so it’s just like a redo of Wednesday for me.

GRAND SLAM MEXICO!

Live from Arena Mexico

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Nigel McGuinness

Cope & Cage and The Young Bucks v. Pac, Daniel Garcia, Jon Moxley & Wheeler Yuta

I heard Yuta overdid it on the refried beans in catering and stunk up the entire backstage area and then blamed it on the dog. Spoiler: There isn’t actually any dog. Also, let’s talk about Adam Copeland’s pop here because HOLY CRAP was this crowd ready for it. As you know, I only judge AEW shows based on crowd reactions, so this is already an all time great episode. It’s a DONNYBROOK to start and the babyfaces (and Christian) quadruple-team Pac in the corner and send him to the floor. Bucks with the dive onto the Death Riders and Cage adds his own as we take a break. Back with the Riders working on Nick with a Dragon Slayer from Garcia before Matt breaks it up. It’s HOT TAG Copeland and the crowd goes insane for his comeback as he clotheslines Pac to the floor. Mox catches him with a cutter, but Cope and the Bucks come back with a double 619 on him and then it’s 4-on-1 as the babyfaces (and Christian) are gang up with superkicks on him for two. More dives on the floor and Cope hits Mox with the Impaler DDT, but Marina breaks up the spear and the crowd is PISSED. So Christian gives her a low blow, which is right on target for him, but now the Death Riders team up on HIM. Everyone trades the big moves, but Cope hits Mox with the spear and the ref is distracted. And that allows Mox to roll him up with a handful of tights for the pin at 11:00 after some deadly INADVERTANT CONTACT between the babyfaces. That’s one powerful shoulder tap. Super fun match with an incredible crowd reaction to kick off the show. ***1/2

Tommaso Ciampa v. Andrade El Idolo v. Komander

Winner of this gets the #1 spot in the Casino Gauntlet. Ciampa goes full troll with the American flag gear, which to be fair makes you a heel literally anywhere in the world outside of Alabama at this point. Ciampa slugs it out with Andrade to start, but Komander takes Andrade to the floor with a headscissors and then hits both other guys with the ropewalk moonsault. So Andrade takes him out with a dive of his own and we take a break with Andrade stopping for his selfie. Back with Andrade LOSING THE PANTS and hitting Komander with the Three Amigos as we learn it’s a tribute to Eddie Guerrero. How comes no one’s ever mentioned that before? But then Ciampa tosses Komander and steals the leftover pants , making this into a four-way with a Project Ciampa on the pants. Komander comes in with a springboard and Ciampa countes with a lungblower for two, but Ciampa goes up and Andrade follows him up for a slugfest up there. Komander brings him down with a poison rana, but Ciampa takes out Komander for two. Aubry gives Ciampa shit for his behavior and Andrade hits him with the running knees while he cowers in the corner, but it only gets two. Komander hits Andrade with a poison rana and moonsaults Ciampa, but Andrade hits Komander the DM and pins him to win the #1 spot at 10:33. All action, start to finish. ***1/2

Afterwards, Andrade drops the catchphrase on the crowd, but MJF interrupts by attacking him from behind, apparently still in possession of the Triple B despite losing it to Kenny Omega. And Max steals the diamond ring back and knocks Andrade out, making him the second most hated orange-tinted douchebag with terrible hair in Mexico. So with Andrade carried out and covered in blood, MJF does a promo where he rants and throws a tantrum about how he was cheated when he lost. So he’s got that in common as well. Next week he’s entertaining the Casino Gauntlet qualifier match so he can win the contract and cash in on whoever wins on my 22^nd birthday.

Megan Bayne, Lena Kross & Mercedes Mone v. Willow Nightingale & the Brawling Birds

Bayne overpowers Windsor to start, but misses a blind charge and the Birds go to work on her. Willow with a senton for one, but it’s over to Mone, who hits Willow with a snap suplex and the Three Amigos. This sets up the wacky spot with all six women trying for a suplex at the same time before breaking down into a slugfest and we take a break with Hayter hitting the heels with a dive. Back with Willow hitting Mercedes with a pounce and then the Birds tee off on Kross and hit a combo legsweep and lariat for two. It’s another slugfest and everyone is down, setting up tags for Willow and Mercedes on both sides. Willow with a spinebuster for two off that and Mone hits the meteora, triggering a series of big moves and they just throw each other all over the ring. Willow with the powerbomb attempt on Mone, but Mone turns into the Moneymaker, and Willow reverses that into the BACKSLIDE OF DEATH to finish at 11:38. That thing is more dangerous than the Tiger Driver 91. Little sloppy but another crazy all action sprint with a wild crowd. ***1/4

AEW International title: Kyle Fletcher v. Mike Bailey

Speedball appears to be channelling Hayabusa tonight and they trade takedowns to start as they each get two from that. Speedball takes him to the floor with a rana, but Fletcher javelins him into the railing like a lawn dart. Bailey was nuts to take that one. Back in the ring, Bailey with a backslide for two and he goes up and misses a kick, but keeps coming with more kicks and a running shooting star for two. To the top, but Fletcher brings him down with a Michinoku Driver for two. Bailey bails to the floor to regroup and we take a break. Back with Kyle chopping him to the floor, but Bailey gets insane hangtime on a dive and nearly clears the railing in the process. Back in the ring, Bailey flies around into a pair of cradles for two, but Fletcher hits him with a dragon suplex and sends him to the ramp. Bailey takes a dramatic flying bump off a big boot there but the angle clearly shows zero contact made. They fight to the steps and Bailey hits him with a rana off those and follows with a moonsault off the stairs as well. Back in the ring, the crowds gets hotter and hotter as Speedball gets a standing Spanish fly for two. Bailey with a thrust kick, but Fletcher takes him down with a Michinoku driver for two. Bailey takes Kyle to the floor with a rana, but Fletcher hangs onto him and powerbombs him onto the apron and back in for the brainbuster for two. Back to the top and Kyle tries the turnbuckle drop, but Bailey escapes that and brings him down with the poison rana. Bailey up again and he hits the Ultimo Weapon kneedrop, but it only gets two as the arena comes unglued. Bailey with the sunset rollup for two, but Fletcher finally hits him with a Snake Eyes and takes him to the top for the buckle buster to finish at 16:39 by the skin of his teeth. To say these guys have chemistry is a massive understatement. ****1/2

Kazuchika Okada & Hechicero & Kevin Knight v. Mistico & Corazon de Leon & Darby Allin

Certainly no shortage of theme songs for the crowd to sing along with on the babyface side. Knight clotheslines Darby right off his board on the way to the ring and it’s a big brawl to start the match. Okada beats on his Corazon kid in the corner, but he comes back with chops until Okada cuts him off with the Okada Dropkick. Knight comes in and Corazon catches him in a death valley driver and it’s over to Darby. Darby dives at Knight, but Okada hits him OUTTA NOWHERE from the floor as we take a break. Back with Darby as the face in peril, but Mistico gets the hot tag and goes nuts on the heels. Springboard crossbody on Knight gets two and it’s back to Darby as we get a slugfest with Knight. Darby with the deathlock while Corazon does his own version of the Boston crab on Okada, but Hechicero breaks it up. Mistico takes him down with a flying headscissors and there’s a large contingent cheering for Hech. But then we get triple dives from the babyfaces. Back in the ring, Knight hangs Darby in the tree of Woe and tries the coast to coast, but Corazon cuts him off with the Judas Effect and Darby finishes with the coffi drop at 10:34 while the other two babyfaces do submission holds. This is a smoking series of matches tonight. ****. Even Jericho seems overwhelmed by the crowd reactions here and pays tribute to them on the way out.

Kris Statlander v. Persephone

Stat sends her to the floor, but misses the legdrop on the apron and Persephone drokpkicks her to the floor and follows with a dive, which she dedicates to Thunder Rosa at ringside. Back in the ring, Persephone with a sleeper as we take a break. Back with Stat coming back with elbows in the corner and a Michinoku Driver for two. 450 misses and Persephone gets two from that. But then she gets distracted by beating up Thunder Rosa at ringside, resulting in the ref getting bumped on the floor. Back in the ring, Hikaru Shida hits the ring and takes out Statlander after a bunch of visual pinfalls, and Persephone gets the pin at 10:00. This was the only match of the night that was significantly worse than “Great” for me, as it was kind of messy and way overbooked. **1/4

AEW World Trios title: The Demand v. Hangman Page & Brodido

Hangman’s wacky graphic returns, as “Worried that the sombreros may be problematic” is the message from the babyfaces. Hangman goes LUCHA on Toa with a swinging headscissors to start and it’s over to Brody for a slugfest before he too goes airborne with a springboard into a wristlock takedown of GOA. The heels hit the floor and Bandido gets tossed onto them to trigger a Macarena break. But that allow the Demand to attack from behind and Kaun drops Bandido on the top rope as we take a break. Back with Kaun beating on Bandido with chops and sending him to the ramp with an alley-oop before tossing him right back into the ring again. Ricochet with a springboard dropkick, but Bandido dropkicks him out of the air and it’s hot tag Hangman. He dives onto Kaun and hits Ric with a lariat, and the pop up powerbomb gets two. They all brawl on the floor and GOA takes out King there and we get triple dives from the champs. They triple-team Hangman in the ring and Ricochet gets a shooting star for two off that. GOA double-teams Hangman, but Brody breaks that up and cannonballs Kaun, while Hangman hits Ricochet with a lariat. Over to Bandido, but Ricochet escapes the 21Plex and tags out to Toa. Bandido to the top and Kaun cuts him off, setting up an insane triple samoan drop from Toa. Holy shit that was some crazy ass John Cena shit. Toa charges and bounces off the post, however, and Brody lariats him and dives onto the heels. That leaves Bandido to hit the 21Plex on Toa, with some assistance from a buckshot lariat, and Hung-Dido are the new champions at 13:34. You could sense that title change coming since the Demand was due for a loss after their one-match winning streak, but the match ruled anyway. Hangman was having so much fun there and I’m fine with giving Bandido any and all titles after the PPV match run he’s been on. ****

Mexico City Street Fight: Will Ospreay v. Mark Davis

Well we’ve got an overrun on a show that’s already 2:30 but it’s been an awesome show so I’ll allow it. Davis nails him at the bell and wedges a chair into the corner, but Will slugs back and sends him to the floor for a dive. They fight on the floor and Ospreay finds a spare tire out there, as you expect to see in a normal match situation, but Davis slams him on the tire for a funny visual. Will retreats into the crowd and dives off the railing to take over, and back in with a springboard elbow that gets two. So Davis retrieves a chair and beats on him with that and then takes him to the floor for an apron bomb out there, and then he powerbombs Ospreay into the crowd, ONTO A FAN, as we take a break. Back with Ospreay taking a bump down the stairs at the entrance because you knew SOMEONE would be dumb enough to do that tonight and Darby didn’t get a chance, and back into the ring for some weapons. Ospreay fights back with kicks, but Davis finally rams him into the chair from the beginning of the match and busts him open. Davis escalates thing with a fork to the head, but Ospreay manages to hit an Ozcutter off the chairs and then steals the fork for some stabbing fun with that. Davis hits him with a lariat and then puts him through a pair of chairs with a running neckbreaker for two, followed by some barbed wire in the corner. Will tosses a chair at his face and they fight to the apron, where Davis uses more barbed wire on Ospreay’s back. So Ospreay clamps onto Davis and his junk with the barbed wire and piledrives him onto the apron to get revenge for their last match. Davis beats the count, but walks into a Hidden Blade and Ospreay gets two. Davis escapes the Stormbreaker, but Ospreay cradles for two, so Davis spikes him with the pop up piledriver for two. Davis tries a barbed wire lariat, but Ospreay flips into a Styles Clash for two. And then Will just blasts him with elbows and hits another hidden blade, with barbed fire on his face, to finish at 16:50. This one worked because it wasn’t just violence for the sake of sickos, they were telling a story about Ospreay escalating his own violence game to get revenge and prepare for his World title shot. ****1/2

This was an absolutely incredible, top tier Dynamite show of all time and I’m glad I took the time to watch it after all. Given how crazy this crowd was, they should think of maybe putting some wrestling promotions in Mexico someday. They seem to be pretty rabid for it. Might do well.