The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 07.17.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 07.17.24

Live from Little Rock, AR

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Taz

AEW International title: Will Ospreay v. MJF

Well this is certainly a big opener. MJF retreats into the crowd right away to annoy the fans and tear up signs, just so we all know he’s a heel again. Back in the ring, they exchange takedowns and hip swivels before doing a gymnastics exhibition and battling to a stalemate. Oh that’s gonna annoy some people. Will clotheslines him to the floor off the lockup and teases a dive, but Maxwell walks away, so Will hits him on the other side instead. Back in, Ospreay with a suplex for two. MJF runs him into the corner to take over. MJF with a chinlock and Ospreay fights out of that quickly, but they trade suplex attempts and MJF gets a stunner for two. Ospreay escapes the Heatseeker, but MJF slingshots him into a cutter instead and that gets two. Another Heatseeker is blocked and Ospreay hits him with a springboard forearm and makes a comeback. MJF bails and Ospreay hits him with the SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP and back in for a standing shooting star press for two. Sky Twister Press gets two. This is a bit much for MJF so he bails to the floor, and Ospreay hits him with another dive to punish him further and he sets up a table at ringside.

Back in, Ospreay with chops as Max wants to negotiate for peace, but then he hits a piledriver for two. MJF works on the leg and backdrops him, and that sets up a figure-four. Ospreay reverses that, but MJF turns him over again, so Will makes the ropes to break. Max goes back to the leg and Will retreats to the apron for a breather, so MJF rakes the eyes before Ospreay makes another comeback with chops. So MJF clips the knee and that gets two. More dirty heel stuff from MJF, but they clothesline each other and it’s a double down. MJF makes the mistake of calling the shot and tries a brainbuster, but Ospreay reverses him into a stunner and follows with the Ozcutter…and again MJF bails to the floor. So Ospreay tries another cutter on the apron, but misses and lands on his shoulder ON THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING as we take a break. Or apparently not in Canada as TSN carries on with MJF running him into the stairs and calling him a “bullshit copy of a pro wrestler”.

Back in the ring, MJF with an armbar, and then a double underhook shoulderbreaker for two. Ospreay fights back with a handspring kick,and an enzuigiri into a torture rack bomb for two. MJF retreats again and they fight into the crowd and up the stairs, where Ospreay invites some crowd participation and tells off some dork in a Kangaroo Kick t-shirt. That was so 2023. MJF tosses a beer at him, so Will shoves his head into a garbage can and forces him to do a kegstand in trash, and it’s back to ringside as Ospreay puts him on the table and MJF escapes it again. Back in the ring, Ospreay reverses a tombstone for two and hits him with a poison rana, but MJF catches him with the Panama Sunrise for two. This time Ospreay bails to the floor and MJF tries for the table spot, but Ospreay rolls off this time. So MJF runs him into the railing and follows with a big boot before stopping for hydration. He tries another trip into the railing, but Ospreay counters with an Ozcutter off the railing and it’s a double down on the floor. Back in the ring, Ospreay hits him with a Crossroads for two. But then MJF snaps the arm and hits the 187 DDT for two. Will goes up and MJF crotches him and follows with a lariat off the top for two. They fight to the apron again and Ospreay wins a battle and hits a Styles Clash on the apron, which gets two.

Last Ride gets two, which Ospreay can only execute with one arm because the other one is injured. We take a break (for real this time) and return with Ospreay putting him down with a forearm for two, but an Ozcutter is reversed into a tombstone for two. MJF runs him into the corner to continue working the arm, and blocks a chop before snapping him down by the arm. Ospreay sends him to the floor, and MJF makes the fatal error of pointing to his head to indicate intelligence, while calling himself the smartest wrestler in the world, and that allows Ospreay to hit him with a Hidden Blade to the floor. Damn, Will caught him monologuing. Back in, that gets two. Will goes up and MJF crotches him, but he tries a rana and Will blocks that and brings him down with a Styles Clash, which gets two. Back to the apron and MJF gives him the Heatseeker on the apron and it’s back to the table again, as Max finally hits a flying elbow and we take a break. Back with MJF holding an abdominal stretch, but Ospreay counters with a small package for two and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence for two. MJF blocks a rana with the powerbomb on the knee for two.

He goes for the Kangaroo Kick but Ospreay counters out of that, so MJF takes him to the top and rubs his junk in Will’s face before delivering a rana. Ospreay lands on his feet and makes the comeback, and they trade strikes with Ospreay hitting the enzuigiri and a sunset flip for two. Another Ozcutter is blocked with a superkick, but Will reverses the brainbuster into a poison rana and stunner, and the Spanish Fly gets two. They fight to the top and Will brings him down with an Ozcutter, and the Hidden Blade gets two. Another Hidden Blade misses, but Will decides to go nuclear with 1:00 left and tries the Tiger Driver, only to wuss out and let MJF down. And the ref is bumped with time running out, but Max pulls out the ring and knocks Ospreay out and pins him to win the title at 59:58 after ditching the evidence. I was expecting a title change but certainly not an hour long match to open the show. *****. One of the best matches ever put on free TV! This Tiger Driver deal is obviously building to a really huge payoff for Ospreay but I’m not sure where he can go with it if it’s not winning the World title.

Meanwhile, the Acclaimed makes their pitch for Blood & Guts, and Swerve decides to let them in. Well that was inevitable but they’re probably one of the worst available choices to put in a match like that.

TV Time with Chris Jericho is here to cool things down a bit, as Jericho promises to be on every episode of Dynamite from now until 500. And that’s a shoot, brother. So Jericho warns everyone that more injuries will happen if people don’t listen to him, and wonders who would be crazy enough not to listen. This is apparently Minoru Suzuki, who brings a contract for an FTW title match next week, with Big Bill and Bryan Keith banned from ringside. Well I’m glad they finally paid that off with something.

Meanwhile, the Elite are tired of the Acclaimed’s sass, and also Britt Baker is banned from the building to help out Mercedes. She does the CEO dance to celebrate and Okada is somewhat smitten.

TBS title: Mercedes Mone v. Nyla Rose

Nyla overpowers Mone and blocks a suplex attempt (“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?”) before dropping her on the top rope for a guillotine knee that gets two. We take a break and return with Mone trying a sleeper, only for Nyla to run her into the corner and cannonball her. That gets two. They fight to the top, but Mone brings her down and follows with a meteora for two. And she finds her own black glove, then puts Nyla into a version of the Lockjaw for the submission to retain at 9:00. But then she celebrates by tearing up a fan’s sign, but of course the fan unmasks as Britt Baker, and Mone freaks out and runs away. Match was decent but nothing special. **

Meanwhile, Jack Perry doesn’t actually give a shit about Brandon Cutler, much like the rest of the world.

Mariah May joins us, cosplaying Timeless Toni this time, and she admits that she had it planned all along and quite enjoyed destroying Toni and making her bleed.

Meanwhile, Christopher Daniels strips the Bang Bang Gang of the trios titles on Collision in a pointless and senseless decision as I don’t really understand who I’m supposed to be cheering for in the whole deal.

Swerve Strickland v. Kazuchika Okada

They battle to a stalemate to start and Swerve puts him down with the kick, so they trade shots and head to the floor, where Okada hits him with a DDT as we take a break. Back with Swerve headbutting him in the ring, but Okada dropkicks him to the floor and they fight back to the apron again. Swerve necks him on the top and rolls in with a flatliner and suplex for two. Swerve goes to the top, but Okada brings him down with the Air Raid Crash for two. To the top for the flying elbow and he again teases the Rainmaker pose, but Swerve rolls him up for two and makes a comeback. Okada cuts that off with the dropkick, but Swerve gets a backbreaker and powerbombs him. To the top, but Okada evades the Swerve Stomp and hits a tombstone. Swerve counters the Rainmaker into a Swerve Stomp, but the Elite runs in for the DQ at 11:08 in an obvious finish they probably should have done way sooner. They had a fun 10:00 spring but it obviously didn’t get a chance to build to anything in particular. ***. So everyone brawls off that but it’s still 5-on-4 for the Elite, so Darby Allin returns yet again as the fifth man in a crazy gimmick brawl, rappelling from the rafters to trigger another brawl to end the show.

Anything with the opener we got is an instant thumbs up this week. Blood & Guts is easily the worst-built version they’ve ever done, but it should pop a rating hopefully. There’s just no real issue behind the match and it feels like something they’re doing because it’s that time of year. Especially with the Acclaimed involved, who are really dragging down the star power this year.