The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 07.08.26

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 07.08.26

“BEACH BREAK”

Kenny Omega joins us with his only true friend, Michael Nakazawa, and lets us know that MJF is gonna have to kill him in order to keep him from the World title and headlining Wembley on my 26^th birthday.

Live from Clearwater FL with an awesome looking outdoor set that’s actually beach themed for once. Usually these beach shows are just in Cleveland or whatever.

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Taz

Tommaso Ciampa v. Jericho

Ciampa does a sneaky hide behind a tree at the entrance, but Jericho comes out of the crowd and attacks him instead, leading to a suplex on a beach chair while the crowd sings his song. Bless Ciampa for selling the devastating one pound of plastic chair being dropped on his back. Into the ring, Jericho chokes him on the ropes and tries for the Walls early, but Ciampa bails to the floor and Jericho hits him with a dive. Back in the ring, Ciampa catches him with a knee strike on the way in to take over, but Jericho gets a death valley driver on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. They slug it out on the stairs and Ciampa gives him a terrifying Angel’s Wings on the stairs, busting him open. And we take a break. Back with them fighting on the top rope as Jericho slugs away on him, but Ciampa brings him down with a Project Ciampa for two. Ciampa tries for the Walls on Jericho, but Chris cradles for two and comes back with a rana off the middle rope. Jericho with a brainbuster for two. They trade chops and Ciampa grabs a bucket of sand, but Jericho counters with a codebreaker for two. Lionsault misses and Ciampa hits him with knees to the face and gets two. Another knee is blocked with the Walls, but Ciampa grabs a handful of sand and tosses it in Jericho’s face, blinding him, and then finishes with a running knee at 13:25. Really good TV match to open the show. ***1/4. Afterwards, Ciampa finds his new POWER DRILL OF DEATH, but security prevents him from delivering 18V of brushless punishment to Jericho. Jericho wouldn’t have survived the torque on that thing.

Meanwhile, the Brawling Birds have a good old bar brawl to work out some stuff.

Meanwhile, Will Ospreay gives his thoughts on the main event, but MJF interrupts and mocks all of Will’s weird relationships in AEW. This leads to some words between them, and Max spits in his face, prompting a pullapart brawl as these poor security geeks are working overtime tonight.

AEW International title: Konosuke Takeshita v. Kyle Fletcher

They trade wristlocks to start and Kyle kicks him in the knee and tries for the brainbuster, but Takeshita reverses out and hits the clothesline. They fight on the floor and have a hydration break as Takeshita runs him into the post, but Kyle drops him on the apron with a hammerlock and beats on him back in the ring. Kyle goes to work on the arm, but Takeshita fights him off with a suplex and sends him to the floor for a dive as we take a break. Back with them slugging it out and Takeshita hits a Blue Thunder bomb for the double down. They fight to the apron, where Takeshita hits him with the wheelbarrow suplex to send him to the floor. Back in the ring, Takeshita hits him with the poison rana, but Kyle gets a Michinoku Driver for two. Takeshita with a lariat and he goes to the top, but Kyle cuts him off. So Takeshita reverses into a Last Ride powerbomb, but gets distracted by Don Callis and that allows Fletcher to hit the running boot in the corner. Takeshita with the Raging Fire for two, but Kyle is in the ropes. They fight for a backslide, but Kyle superkicks him into a brainbuster and that gets two. To the top, and Kyle hits the turnbuckle brainbuster, and that’s enough to finish and win the title at 17:19. Yeah it was time to elevate him to the next level. The match was fantastic but the crowd was surprisingly quiet for it a lot of the way. ****1/4.

Mick Foley joins us after the break, with the Callis Family still celebrating, and he gets the first interview with the new champion, as they really make it into a big deal that the title changed hands. Callis tries to tell off Mick and that prompts Don to call out Kevin Knight. So Kevin is still complaining about not getting a World title shot, and that of course brings out Andrade, who also wants the World title. But first he’s going to take one of the belts from the Callis Family, so next week it’s Andrade v. Jake Doyle, and if he wins, he gets Mark Davis. So Andrade leads a few of them on a chase to the back, but they find Darby Allin and a boobytrapped skateboard there. Well there was certainly a lot going on in that whole segment.

Will Ospreay & Jon Moxley v. The Workhorsemen

Moxley trades takedowns with Henry and Henry temporarily wins that battle, but Moxley beats him down with chops so it’s over to Drake. He beats on Mox and they double-team Mox with a senton for two. Henry hits him with kicks, but Will comes in with a rana to put Henry on the floor and hits them both with a dive. We take a break and return with the Horsemen hitting Ospreay with knee strikes and Drake gets two. Ospreay gets a corkscrew kick and makes the hot tag to Moxley, and he tosses Drake and hits him with a tope and corner clothesline before slugging him in the corner. Cutter on Henry and he needs some motivation, so he heads out and lets Marina slap him around to fire him up. Back in the ring, we get a Styles Clash / Piledriver combo from the Death Riders, and Moxley hits Drake with the Paradigm Shift into the Hidden Blade to finish at 8:31. Another fun but nonessential tag match with these two before they inevitably explode after Wembley. **1/2

Meanwhile, we take a look at new TBS champion Hikaru Shida.

Casino Gauntlet match:

We’ve got Athena at #1 and Maya World at #2, plus Mercedes watching from a lifeguard station and Thekla on commentary with a fruity drink. They trade cradles for two to start and Maya hits her with a forearm in the corner, but Athena puts her down with a high knee for two. Maya goes up with a moonsault for two, and Skye Blue is #3 at 1:44. Skye runs wild with a kendo stick and hits Maya with a neckbreaker for two off that. Athena slams her into the stairs outside and we take a break. Back with Mina Shirakawa at #4 at 6:00 and the babyfaces clear the ring, but Maya cradles Mina for two. Thekla: “Wrestling Mina is like wrestling a blowup doll”. Yeah I think that gimmick has already been done. Rihna is #5 at 8:00 and she slugs it out with Mina, as Thekla notes that Rihna is pretty cool and “one of the smart bitches”. She runs wild for a bit and Julia Hart is #6 at 9:32. She runs wild with a trashcan lid and then grabs a chair and beats up a security guard, and even Justin Roberts gets abused. We take another break and return with Thunder Rosa at #7 at 14:22. She takes out everyone with stunners and dropkicks a can lid into Skye’s gut. Thekla: “The ring is really filling up with some dumb bitches.” She’s drunk off her ass and I’m here for it. To be fair, she’s tiny and it probably doesn’t take much to get her there anyway. Athena dives in with the O-Face on Rosa for two, but Mina saves. So Athena hits Mina with the O-Face and that gets two. Willow returns at #8 at 17:00 to a huge pop, and she smashes everyone with spinebusters and takes out the Triangle sisters. She dives onto the outside and hits Athena with an apron bomb and death valley driver, but she gets double-teamed by Skye and Julia in the ring. Julia with a rollup for two, but Willow hits her with the powerbomb and pins her to win the title shot at 19:00. So then Thekla attacks Willow in the ring and spears her, but then Divine Dominion takes out Julia & Skye while Thekla is like “WTF?” and it turns out that Mercedes set that whole deal up and she lays out Thekla. I feel like Willow winning the title from Thekla at Montreal and then dropping it to Mercedes might be their play, although I wouldn’t take it off Thekla because she’s amazing, so who knows. Match was pretty sloppy and dull until Willow made the big surprise appearance to win it. **1/2

Meanwhile, Jack Perry signs his new contract to end all the speculation.

Meanwhile, Speedball challenges Mark Davis for Collision in a National title match. Gotta think he’ll have something set up for the PPV in Montreal.

AEW World title: MJF v. Kenny Omega

So just like Hangman, if Kenny loses he can never challenge again. Kenny tries for the One Winged Angel early and MJF rakes the eyes to escape, resulting in both of them landing on the floor. MJF decides to take a walk through the crowd and they fight out there, which results in MJF taking a bump into the chairs, and Kenny drags him back into the ring, but MJF uses the ref to avoid the V-Trigger. Max tries the Heatseeker and Kenny blocks it, so Max hits him with a cutter instead for two. Another try at the Heatseeker, but Kenny retreats to the ramp this time and then goes up the lifeguard chair for a moonsault. Back to the ringKenny hits him with a missile dropkick to the back and MJF bails to the floor to buy time. Kenny with the Terminator Dive, but Max hits him with a drop toehold into the ropes on the way back into the ring. Omega comes back with the snapdragon and they clothesline each other for the double down. MJF up first with the powerbomb for two. MJF clears the announce table, but he goes to the apron and Kenny hits him with a running kick that sends MJF through the table with an incredible bump headfirst to smash the table as we take a break. That was seriously one of the greatest table bumps I’ve ever seen. Back with them fighting on the apron and brawling on the floor. Kenny tries You Can’t Escape on the floor, but mistimes it and has to regroup before missing the moonsault portion. So MJF piledrives him onto the chair and tries another Heatseeker, but Kenny goes for the knee and Max can’t hit it. Kenny is staggered but fires off the V-Trigger, and MJF is able to escape the One Winged Angel because Kenny is still wobbly. So Kenny gets another V-Trigger in the corner and takes Max to the top, but MJF reverses out with a poison rana and follows with the Heatseeker, finally…but it only gets two. THEY GOT ME. So MJF grabs the title belt and gets caught, but loads up the ring instead, and that brings out Ospreay to steal that. And that allows Kenny to get the title belt, but has a crisis of conscience, so Max hits him in the nuts and belts him…FOR ONE. Kenny makes the comeback and slugs away on Max, hits the V-Trigger NOT ONCE NOT TWICE BUT THRICE and the One Winged Angel gives him the World title at 24:05! That match fucking ruled. Kenny Omega just went out and showed that he could still be an elite worker while doing the Terry Funk gunslinger act, finally outsmarting MJF and putting the bad guy to rest. *****1/2.

What a Dynamite this week! If you want a nice sampler of what makes them great, this is the show to start with, with an incredible main event, a unique setting, and a couple of bangers to start the show.