The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 07.03.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 07.03.24

“Beach Break”

Live from Chicago, IL, famous home of beaches and sharks

Your hosts are Taz, Excalibur & Tony Schiavone

Meanwhile, Daniel Garcia promises that he’s not losing the match to Will Ospreay tonight, and MJF stops by to offer his corner services. And even Daddy Magic reluctantly gives MJF his props.

Owen Hart Foundation tournament semi-final: Bryan Danielson v. Pac

They trade takedowns to start and Pac goes to work on the arm and they battle to stalemate off that. They trade chops as the crowd is having trouble picking a favorite, and they collide for a double down off a crossbody attempt. Pac goes for the Brutalizer and Bryan makes the ropes as we take a break. Back with Bryan making a comeback and flipping out of a german suplex attempt by Pac before putting him down with a high kick. Pac bails to the floor to escape more kicks, but Danielson hits him with a running knee off the apron. Pac puts him down and hits a flying elbow off the railing on the floor, and then back in for another flying elbow in the ring, followed by a tombstone for two. Bryan turns the pin attempt into a crossface, but Pac makes the ropes. So Bryan keeps beating on him with chops and kicks in the corner and makes the comeback, going to the top before getting crotched by Pac. Superplex gets two. Danielson fights back with the bu saiku knee, but can’t make the cover, and Pac locks in the Brutalizer while he’s trying for it. Danielson rolls him over for two and then transitions to the Lebell lock, so Pac reverses HIM for two, before going back to the Brutalizer, but Bryan rolls him over again for the pin at 17:00 to advance to the finals next week. Great opener! ****

Meanwhile, Willow explains her philosophy behind “Nothing matters, smile anyway” and how it means DOOM for Kris Statlander tonight.

Mark Briscoe joins us and he’s afraid of SHARKS, but he’s joining Team AEW for Blood & Guts. And then Jack Perry lays him out from behind with the TNT title, so Kyle O’Reilly makes the save before getting blasted with a Rainmaker by Okada. But then the Acclaimed chase them off to continue their thing.

Meanwhile, Toni Storm gives Mariah a peptalk before Rampage.

Owen Hart Foundation tournament semi-final: Willow Nightingale v. Kris Statlander

They brawl at the entrance and Willow pounces her down the ramp and suplexes her on the floor. Into the ring, Willow beats on her in the corner, but Stat hits her with a body block and we take a break. Back with Willow sending her to the apron and elbowing her to the floor, and following with a cannonball and missile dropkick back in the ring for two. Statlander comes back with an axe kick for two. German suplex folds Willow over, but she fires back with her own german suplex off the middle rope. Stat with a tombstone attempt, but they trade cradles off that for two and Statlander gets an F5 for two. Next, Stokely takes the ref while Statlander grabs a chain, but she misses the shot and Willow rolls her up for the pin at 8:20 to advance to the finals. Very fun, hard-hitting match. ***. However we all know that this tournament belongs to Mariah May.

Meanwhile, Jeff Jarrett is so moved by tonight’s tournament match that he walks away from his circus.

Dr. Britt Baker DMD joins Tony in the ring for her return promo, and she tells the story of having a mini stroke back in November, which is why she’s been away from wrestling for months. But then she throws some shade on Mercedes, accusing her of having to pipe in the CEO chants to make people chant along. But then Mercedes shows up, with the Bucks on her side now, and Britt gets kicked out of the ring for the championship celebration. So Mone comes out and she’s full heel again now, and Britt challenges her for All In because she was working All In while Mercedes was home with a broken leg. But Mercedes sends her to the back of the line, but Britt points out that there is no line. This was a BIGTIME segment and that match is gonna be money.

Meanwhile, Don Callis interrupts Will Ospreay’s interview segment, and Will walks away from the family. But maybe one day Don will ask him for a favor. And he still takes Kyle Fletcher with him.

Chris Jericho joins us and apparently Hook committed the CARDINAL SIN by stealing someone’s finisher, and that doesn’t work for him brother. Also Taz pissed him off, so he got the EVPs to remove Taz from the desk and kick him out of the arena. So now we get Jericho on commentary for the rest of the night, lucky us.

Samoa Joe, Hook & Shibata v. Brian Cage & The Gates of Agony

We get some MEAT action between Toa and Joe to start and Joe slugs him into the corner and follows with the enzuigiri. Over to Cage, and Shibata hits him with a boot in the corner, but Cage puts him down with a shoulderblock. Shibata with a leglock and Cage makes the ropes. Hook comes in and Kaun necks him as we take a break. Back with Shibata grabbing a sleeper on Toa and then Hook gets a hot tag and cleans house, but Kaun catches him with the gutbuster for two. Double chokeslam gets two. Joe breaks it up and tries a dive, but Liona pounces him to cut him off. But then Hook DDTs Cage and Joe wrecks everyone off the hot tag. Toa gets triple-teamed by the babyfaces and Joe gets a senton for two. The heels try triple suplexes, but the babyfaces reverse into triple chokes, and everyone taps at 9:14. This was like a mean guy version of a party match and it ruled. ***1/4. Afterwards, the Learning Tree hit the ring and attack with chairs, resulting in Shibata’s arm getting PIllmanized by Bryan Keith, and then they brutalize Hook and chokeslam him through a table.

Owen Hart Foundation tournament quarter-final: Jeff Jarrett v. Hangman Page

Page has new evil cowboy music and no wacky graphic and I dig it. I guess Jarrett is about to learn who the real Last Outlaw is. Page takes him to the corner and they get into a hockey fight, and Hangman just kicks the shit out of Jeff on the mat. Jarrett tries to fight back and Page hits him with a lariat and sends him to the apron for a powerbomb out there. Page smashes his head off the stairs and we take a break. Back with Hangman slugging away on Jeff on the apron and biting him, but Jarrett comes back with the Stroke on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING, and they’re both out on the floor. Back in the ring, JJ makes the big babyface comeback and hits a legsweep and enzuigiri for two. Page tries the Deadeye, but Jeff rolls him into a Sharpshooter attempt and Page slugs out of that. Deadeye follows and the crowd chants for Swerve, so Page gets all pissed off and calmly waits for Jarrett to recover and then tries the Buckshot Lariat. Jarrett catches him, however, and gets the Sharpshooter, but Page makes the ropes. And then he necks Jeff, hits a second buckshot lariat, and beats the crap out of Jeff before delivering a second Deadeye for the pin at 11:18. This was kind of an amazing match with Jarrett channelling one last big babyface match before Hangman ripped his heart out. ***.

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho is still a WIZARD and throws fire at Hook.

Meanwhile, the Bucks are just so darn proud of evil Hangman and offer him a spot in the Elite again, but he’s not playing games anymore and he doesn’t need them. He’s here to win the Owen tournament and get some revenge on Swerve. I LIKE THIS HANGMAN.

International title: Will Ospreay v. Daniel Garcia

Ospreay chops him into the corner while MJF gives him a peptalk from the floor, and Garcia gets fired up and battles Ospreay to a stalemate. Daniel with a piledriver and a short dropkick for one. Garcia slugs away in the corner, but Ospreay kicks him to the floor and follows with a dive, while MJF makes his presence known. We take a break and return with Will in control and beating on him with chops. Garcia fights back with a pair of neckbreakers and a DDT, and then a third neckbreaker gets two. Ospreay puts him down with short kicks and then offers him a free shot for his own kicks, but Garcia does some very rude dancing instead. Saito suplex follows, but Will turns it into a C4 for two. Garcia with an Air Raid Crash for two. Garcia with the guillotine, but Ospreay springboards into the Ozcutter, and Garcia counters that into a piledriver for two. MJF offers him the diamond ring, but Ospreay hits a series of cradles for two until Garcia puts him down with a lariat. But then Danny decides not to use the ring after all, and Ospreay finishes him with a running lariat to retain at 13:31. ***1/2 I don’t think anyone seriously thought Garcia had a shot at that one. Afterwards, Ospreay gives his respect to Danny and leaves, at which point MJF also pumps the kid up, but then kicks him in the nuts for being a failure and then loads up the ring and teaches him a valuable lesson about trusting the wrong people. And then he beats the shit ouf Garcia, busts him open, and piledrives him off the middle rope so we know who the true scumbag is. No more smiling happy babyface MJF now. This whole thing was top tier pro wrestling and now we’ve got a top tier heel again.

This one was the GOOD SHIT this week. I know the Jarrett loss was heartbreaking, but that’s kind of the point. Great episode with some big feuds brewing and MJF showing his true colors again.