The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 06.19.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 06.19.24

Live from Fairfax, VA. Apparently they did a dark match of Jeff Jarrett & Jay Lethal v. The Outrunners before the show and NOBODY TOLD ME so I could buy tickets and fly there for it. GODDAMMIT. Bad enough that I missed my boys playing the Boys on Collision because no one told me about that either.

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Taz & Excalibur

MJF v. Rush

MJF gets such a gigantic babyface pop that they have to give him two ring introductions. Slugfest to start and Max stops to strut, but Rush wants a chop battle and that gets pretty intense in a hurry. Leading of course to Max poking him in the eye after a dramatic buildup. So Rush belts him with a headbutt behind the ref’s back and puts the boots to him to take over. Rush with a chinlock and he snaps off a german suplex for two. Rush beats him down in the corner, but misses the corner dropkick and it’s a double down. Max with a cradle for two, and a backslide for two. Hammerlock DDT gets two. Rush tries to come back and Max spikes him with a piledriver, but he charges and Rush suplexes him into the corner. They fight to the floor and Rush smashes him into the railings before adding some shots with the cable. They fight to the apron and Rush suplexes him off the the apron this time. Back in the ring, MJF ducks a knee strike and hits a spinebuster to come back and then slugs away in the corner, follows with the Heatseeker, and then finishes with a brainbuster at 14:20. Fun match and Tony must have promised Rush something nice to get him to job clean as a sheet. ***1/4. Afterwards, Brian Cage and his friends pop up on the screen and challenges MJF to face Hechicero at Forbidden Door.

Meanwhile, the insane six-man team of Mark Briscoe, Kyle O’Reilly & Orange Cassidy have now added Dante Martin to their side, and they all immediately let Mark Briscoe say whatever he wants while Kyle makes delighted faces. There’s two words of the day! And then Jack Perry wanders through the shot and Mark yells “GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE, JACK PERRY!” and everyone loses it.

Will Ospreay and Swerve Strickland join us for a face-to-face. Swerve thinks that Will is gonna go to Don Callis for help because he can’t take the heat, but Will immediately denies needing Callis or anyone else, and we cut to the Callis Family looking all pissed off backstage. “When you had a Hit Row I had a Hit List, bruv”. Will reels off the list of moves that he can use to beat Swerve, especially if he whips out the Tiger Driver 91, but Swerve brings up Will’s son and a fight seems imminent. Prince Nana tries to make peace, but then Swerve gets one last verbal cheapshot and it turns into a pull apart. Well now it seems clear that Callis is gonna screw Ospreay out of the title but they did a hell of a job making this one seem like a huge deal.

Konosuke Takeshita, Kyle Fletcher, Zack Sabre Jr & Roderick Strong v. Mark Briscoe, Kyle O’Reilly, Orange Cassidy & Dante Martin

I’m assuming they’re gonna try to top last week’s insanity. They immediately go flying to the floor and Kyle puts a kneebar on Strong in the ropes while Orange takes a seat in the ring. Zack puts Orange into a submission in the ropes and more guys dive outside and then Dante springboards onto everyone as we take a break. Back with Orange and ZSJ trading cradles and then Takeshita slugs Orange down. Over to Kyle, who stands with Takeshita and throws kicks. Over to Dante, who runs wild and springboards onto Fletcher with a bodypress, but Takeshita hits him with a gigantic powerbomb off the top rope for two. We take another break and return with Briscoe running wild on the heels with REDNECK KUNG FU and a Froggy Bow on Takeshita, which sets up all the babyfaces hitting top rope moves, concluding with Orange nearly crushing Takeshita’s ribs with his flying elbow. Sabre makes the save because Takeshita was DONE after sustaining that kind of impact a they all go nuts with big moves on each other and Dante hits a bunch of dives. Zack with a cradle on Orange for two and we get another crazy series of big moves, and Orange finishes Strong with the Orange Punch at 16:32. Putting these guys on TV and telling them to go out and have a great match every week seems to be an effective strategy thus far. ****1/4

Meanwhile, Mercedes Mone is all filled with the lucha spirit now and ready to take it out on Stephanie Vaquer.

Meanwhile, Rush is having trouble with the loss from earlier, so Don Callis offers some assistance.

Matthew & Nicholas Jackson v. The Acclaimed

Max’s rap is cut off by a clumsy Okada at Gorilla, who accidentally pulls the plug on the microphone. But he’s very sorry, BITCH. Well that’s nice. So they brawl on the floor and into the ring for the Scissor Me Timbers while the announcers complain about the Bucks not defending the titles as of yet. That sounds like disrespecting the EVPs and a $10,000 fine to me. Caster gets caught in the heel corner and bumps to the floor on a blind charge, and we take a break. Back with Caster fighting back with a crossbody to set up the hot tag to Bowens, but his leg is injured and he can’t put weight on it. So Matt superkicks him for two. Bowens tries to go up and Matthew kicks the leg out of his leg, and Nicholas gets a senton for two. EVP Trigger is caught by Bowens and he powers out of it and slugs away on them. But then they take out the leg again and PUMP UP THE SHOES to set up the Superkick Party for two. Caster makes the save and gets tossed, but Bowens escapes the TK Driver. So Matthew goes low and they hit another EVP Trigger, but Max saves at two again. So they get rid of him again and go back to double-teaming Bowens with an elevated Sliced Bread for two. Next up, they grab the belts, but Nicholas hits Matthew by mistake, and Caster drops the mic for the pin at 11:00 to earn a title shot. I think that was the first ever title eliminator win for a challenger, actually. This felt like a nice change of pace for the Acclaimed, with a much more serious edge to them. ***

Meanwhile, Samoa Joe gives Hook more life advice and they get challenged by the Premier Athletes via polite note in the dressing room. Also Shibata might be a cameraman now.

Contract signing: Toni Storm v. Mina Shirakawa

Mariah May is of course personally torn here and loves both women. Especially her very very good pal Mina. So Mina promises to take a title and Mariah home. But Saraya interrupts, bringing Anna Jay with her for the sneak attack, and Toni takes the bullet for Mariah and gets put through a table.

Owen Hart Foundation tournament round one: Kris Statlander v. Nyla Rose

They slug it out to start and Nyla chases Stat to the apron, but she goes up and Kris knocks her to the floor as we take a break. Back with Statlander holding a sleeper in the ring, but Nyla fights out with a clothesline in the corner and follows with a cannonball for two. Nyla tries the powerbomb and Stat escapes and puts her down with an axe kick for two. Statlander goes up and misses a 450, and Nyla puts her down with an elbow for two. She goes up again, but Statlander boots her down and finishes with a tombstone at 8:00. Impressive finish but the match was a bit messy. **

Meanwhile, Private Party has a match on Rampage against luchadors, and Chris Jericho offers advice about avoiding piledrivers. They didn’t work for him, brother.

Daniel Garcia v. Rhett Titus

Titus attacks in the corner and Garcia hits him with a dropkick and neckbreaker and then finishes with the elevated DDT at 1:00. Afterwards, the Gates of Agony attack and lay out Daniel and Daddy Magic, but MJF makes the unlikely save and kicks ass like Bugs Bunny before getting cut off by Cage and stretched by Hechicero. And then Will Ospreay makes another save and we get a moment between MJF and Ospreay that blows the roof off the place. The Bruv-Chachos?

Meanwhile, Will Ospreay is about to explain himself to Renee, but Brian Cage wants a piece of Ospreay and we get a title match for Collision.

Owen Hart Foundation tournament round one: Claudio Castagnoli v. Pac

Pac immediately fires off a missile dropkick to put Claudio on the floor, and they brawl out there. Back in, Pac with another missile dropkick, so Claudio bails to the floor because he’s had enough of getting dropkicked. Pac makes the mistake of charging after him, so Claudio elevates him into the uppercut and we take a break. Back with Claudio missing a charge and going into the post, and Pac moonsaults him on the floor. Claudio’s skill in catching guys like Pac is amazing. Back in the ring, Pac drops a flying elbow for two. They slug it out and Pac puts him down with a superkick and goes up for the Black Arrow, which misses. Claudio plows him with the running uppercut for two. This sets up the Giant Swing and a lariat for two. Ricola Bomb is countered into the Brutalizer, but Claudio takes him down with a Sharpshooter and turns it into a crossface to keep Pac away from the ropes. Pac reverses that for two and cradles for two and they trade near-falls until Pac finishes with a crucifix at 11:42 to advance. Just some good wrestling here. ***. Claudio, however, does not want to shake hands with Pac. That’s OK, this tournament is clearly set up for Jeff Jarrett to win in exchange for him doing all the promotional work for All In last year and not even getting a spot on the show.

Banger show this week and Forbidden Door feels like it’s got some real stakes, surprisingly most of all the Women’s title match with the Battle for Mariah.