The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 06.11.25

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 06.11.25

“Summer Blockbuster”

Goddamn, RIP Brian Wilson. At least now Mike Love can stop suing the poor guy.

Live from Portland, OR, future Canadian province apparently, and just like last week there’s ZERO chance I’m doing the whole four hours of this monstrosity, sorry. Also why isn’t the Khan-Tron made into a giant movie screen since this is apparently a movie-themed episode?

Your hosts are Excalibur, Ian Riccaboni & Taz

Meanwhile, Christopher Daniels tries to give Hangman a pep talk leading up to his title shot, but sneaky Jon Moxley waits until he leaves and then sends the Death Riders on a mission against him.

Will Ospreay v. Swerve Strickland

Swerve offers a handshake of respect to start and I was hoping they’d do the dance off again but instead we get a stalemate sequence and they back off. But then Swerve WALLOPS him with an elbow on the ropes, busting Ospreay open, so Will slams him and hits him with a standing moonsault for two. Swerve kicks him down for two and adds a backbreaker for two. Will is just gushing blood from his nose and I don’t know what’s going on there. Swerve goes to a chinlock and works the arm as they’re seemingly talking it over, but Ospreay fires back with a chop to escape and adds the handspring kick and a springboard dropkick to put Swerve on the floor for the SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP. We take a break and return with Swerve back in control with a stomp to the back on the way back into the ring. Will cradles for two and they trade kick attempts, and then Will nails him with a Hidden Blade before Swerve escapes the Stormbreaker. Ospreay with a stunner, but Swerve takes him down with a short arm scissors, but Ospreay slingshots him into the corner to break. Swerve goes up and Ospreay brings him down and adds a poison rana and Spanish Fly for two. Cutter gets two. Another Stormbreaker is countered by Swerve and they head to the floor again, but Swerve hurts his own knee on the dismount and Ospreay wipes him out with another Hidden Blade from the apron as we take another break. Back with Swerve hitting him with some karate kicks as Will seems to be regaining his swagger after the broken nose, but he tries the Hidden Blade and misses, hitting the turnbuckles hard. To the top, where Swerve brings him down with a flying hammerlock and goes back to the short arm scissors. Will tries to use a Styles Clash to escape that, but Swerve counters into a Deadeye for two. Swerve tries the Swerve Stomp and misses, and Will hits him with the Hidden Blade for two. They slug it out with forearms and Swerve puts him down with a House Call kick to set another Swerve Stomp for two. Next up, Swerve uses a Penta armsnap, but Ospreay hits him with the Hidden Blade and Stormbreaker for a hot two. Will tries it again and contemplates the Tiger Driver, but Swerve escapes anyway and hits him with a Vertebreaker and House Call Kick as Ospreay rolls to the apron to escape. So Swerve goes up for a Swerve Stomp out there, but time expires at 30:00 and Will is saved by the bell. Ospreay had some trouble early on but it turned into an incredible TV match. I think Ospreay is literally incapable of doing anything under four stars. ****1/2

Afterwards, Swerve wants 5 more minutes, but the Death Riders hit the ring for distraction, allowing the Young Bucks to come out and double on Swerve before handcuffing him to the corner and superkicking him into oblivion. But then they load up the thumbtack shoes, and Ospreay dives in to take the bullet, presumably proving himself to Swerve in the process. The crowd is like “Fuck the Bucks”, which is fair.

Meanwhile, Okada is about to comment on Kenny Omega, but Don Callis immediately interrupts and bitches about his family members not being in the match, so Okada calls him a bitch and leaves.

Meanwhile, the Hurt Syndicate takes out Komander backstage and steals his mask, so he’s apparently out tonight.

Mistico v. Blake Christian

Blake takes him down and slugs away before choking him out on the ropes, but Mistico chops him down and follows with a ropewalk takedown to put him on the floor for a dive. He gets distracted by Lee Johnson and Christian comes back with a 450 for two, but he goes up again and Mistico finishes him with a Spanish Fly at 4:18. Mistico is a big drawing card but this wasn’t anything you don’t see from all the other, better, luchadors on the show. **. This brings out the Hurt Syndicate, as the MJF v. Mistico match in Mexico is made official while the crowd boos him so loud that he can barely talk. MJF reveals another gigantic US flag and the crowd boos that so loudly you’d think it was a Canadian crowd. So Mistico calls MJF a very rude name, and MJF tells him he’s just “sloppy Sin Cara” and attacks, before Mike Bailey and Kevin Knight make the save.

The Hurt Syndicate v. Mike Speedball Bailey, Kevin Knight & Mascara Dorada

So MJF demands a fair fight one on one, and then the whole team attacks the babyfaces at the bell anyway. MJF slams Dorada while the crowd mocks MJF’s stupid-looking MVP gear, but Dorada puts him down with a handspring and brings Knight in. Bailey with a shooting star for two on MJF, but Dorada comes in and gets too close to Lashley on the apron, resulting in him taking a flying bump to the floor. We take a break and return with MJF missing the Ballin’ Elbow and it’s hot tag Knight, who hits a running frog splash for two. The tag champs finally come in and we get a showdown with Bailey and Knight, and that goes badly for the babyfaces. Poor Speedball just gets mauled and then MJF wants the tag again and hits Bailey with a pumphandle driver for two. But then Speedball hits him with a thrust kick and the faces double-team Shelton and hit the Hurts with dives outside. So finally MVP has had enough and he nails Bailey with the cane, allowing MJF to finish with a hammerlock DDT at 11:00. This is a weird heel dynamic, with MJF having to play a completely ineffective clown who’s protected by MVP in order to keep the fans from cheering him. And then he unmasks Dorada for more heel heat, but Mistico makes the save and taps him out with La Mistica. I know what they’re going for with the MJF relationship, but I thought they were doing great with Hurt Syndicate as badass babyfaces and MJF is out there with a completely different script doing his wacky heel routine. ***

Hangman Page joins us for an interview, but the Death Riders attack him in the tunnel and kidnap him, so that Moxley can have a real conversation with him without Page interrupting like he usually does. So Moxley talks shit while the Riders beat on him, but Hangman fights back and the Opps make the save and chase off the Riders.

Anna Jay & Tay Melo v. Megan Bayne & Penelope Ford

We get the brawl to start and Tay gets run into the stairs while Megan slams Jay and then Ford licks her in the corner. Anna comes back with a leg lariat in the corner and brings Tay in, but the heels get rid of her again and do some posing as we take a break. Back with Tay getting a hot tag and hitting Ford with a german suplex into the knee strike for two. Bayne comes in and Melo hits her with running pump kicks in the corner and rolls her into a calf crusher. Bayne slams out of that, so Tay hits her with a cannonball off the apron and Anna adds a dive of her own. And then Jay and Tay take FOREVER setting up the catch and Ford moonsaults them too. Back in the ring, Bayne slams both of TayJay, but Ford demands to be tagged in and Tay hits her with the DDTay or whatever she calls it, and that finishes at 10:00. This was pretty rough but Melo was certainly enthusiastic. *1/2

Meanwhile, we take a look at the Omega-Okada matches of 2017 for all those “Where is the video package” people. This was a pretty awesome video package.

Contract Signing: Kenny Omega v. Kazuchika Okada

So Tony Schiavone unveils the new Unified Title belt, which actually draws a “Holy shit” chant from the crowd. NOW THAT’S A BELT! That is a SNAZZY motherfucker. Kenny is all business and signs the contract and we get a handshake, but then Don Callis interrupts, still complaining, only for Okada to turn even more heel than he was before and join the Callis Family. And he uses a baton to hit Omega RIGHT IN THE DIVERTICULITIS and lay him out to end the portion of the show I’m watching tonight.

I’d call this a fun episode with another super hot crowd in a series of them, and the opener was bonkers, but the rest of the show felt like a lot of heavy heat angles and didn’t really leave it feeling like a standalone classic or anything. They’re definitely putting in the work for All In, though.