The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 06.05.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 06.05.24

Live from Loveland, CO

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Taz & Excalibur

MJF joins us to start and he’s probably gonna wrestle “some random guy from Mexico or Japan” at Forbidden Door. Also he’s offended by everyone running around talking shit that they can’t back up, like the one guy who goes “Oy, I’m the best in the world, bruv”. But that guy hasn’t beaten any of the people MJF has. I think he did actually beat a lot of the people MJF named, in fact. But this brings out Rush, who accuses Max of never shutting up. So Rush does his promo and Max cuts him off and blows him off, and then builds him up again as a killer who sells out arenas around the world. So then he talks some shit in Spanish, which TSN actually bleeps out, and Rush hits the ring for a brawl before Interim Executive VP Chris Daniels and his security geeks pull them apart.

Meanwhile, Roderick Strong runs up mountains to prepare for Swerve tonight.

International title #1 contender match: Orange Cassidy v. Kyle O’Reilly v. Jay Lethal v. Rey Fenix

I don’t get the switch back to “Where Is My Mind” after getting “Jane” over so big as Orange’s entrance music. Jay clears the ring to start, buhe stops to strut and Orange hits him with a bodypress to chase him to the floor. Kyle goes after the arm, and Kyle’s been looking way better since getting his groove back after injury. The haircut did it, I think. Fenix flies in with an armdrag on Orange and dropkicks him to the floor, but Lethal takes out Fenix from behind. We get a wacky four-way german suplex reversal spot and O’Reilly trades kicks with Fenix for the double down as we take a break. Back with Orange hitting the stunner on Lethal, but Kyle takes him down with an armbar, and then Fenix hits Kyle with a splash and Lethal drops the flying elbow for a quadruple down. Lethal with a figure-four on Orange while Kyle guillotines Fenix, but they’re both broken up. So Kyle gets the armbar on Lethal, but Orange breaks it up with some vicious kicks and then follows with the spinning DDT on Fenix. Orange Punch on O’Reilly, but Lethal takes out Cassidy and hits the Lethal Injection on Kyle. But then Fenix cradles Lethal for the pin and the title shot at 9:40. A very fun party match and that title match is gonna be off the chain, as the kids say. ***1/2. Speaking of chains, Trent hits the ring with new manager Don Callis, but Orange uses a chain to chase them off. But then Kris Statlander hits the ring and punches the taste out of Orange’s mouth, until Willow makes the save and keeps Orange from having to hit a woman.

Meanwhile, the Learning Tree crew shows up and celebrates the sunny day and beautiful weather.

Meanwhile, Orange stops by and makes a new alliance with Willow.

Interim Executive VP Chris Daniels joins us to announce another qualifying match for the TNT ladder match RIGHT NOW.

Mark Briscoe v. Brian Cage

Wait, so the ROH World champion has to qualify for a shot at the TNT title? Cage puts Briscoe down right away, but Mark fights back and boots Cage out of the ring for a baseball slide. Mark goes for a chair and the ref intercepts it, allowing Cage to attack again on the floor and hurl Briscoe into the railing. Back in, Cage with a superplex and we take a break. Back with Briscoe making a comeback with a uranage for two. Back to the floor for a chair assisted dive, and back in with a missile dropkick for two. Cage with the pumphandle flatliner for two, and a spinning powerbomb gets two. Briscoe fights back again and hits the froggy elbow, and that finishes at 10:20. I’d say this way overdelivered. ***1/4. But then Jack Perry does a promo from the back and declares that the universe has already chosen him to be the next TNT champion, which seems to be news to Briscoe.

Meanwhile, Daivari picks on Hook, but Samoa Joe has payback planned for later on.

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho very loudly offers parenting advice to Cool Hand Angelo, and then Bryan Keith snaps “That baby better respect Chris Jericho!” to steal the segment.

The Acclaimed join us for an anti-Elite rap, but the Bucks pop up and cut their segment. No big loss.

Meanwhile, Swerve Strickland gives Nana the signed contract for Will Ospreay, and he’s also offended that no one invited him to join Team AEW at Double or Nothing.

Meanwhile, Mercedes Mone wants to finally gain the New Japan Strong title that was created for her but never end up around her waist.

The Blackpool Combat Club v. Volador Jr., Rugido, Esfinde & Magnus

The CMLL team manages to clear the ring and Rugido gets a 619 on Danielson for two. Over to Yuta, who was apparently ROH Pure champion for the entire SIX MONTHS that he was out injured, and no one even noticed that the title was gone. That’s how you know there’s too many meaningless titles. BCC goes to work on Magnus and we take a break. Back with Esfinde running wild with backbreakers and sending Claudio across the ring with monkey flips, and a cradle gets two. Everyone comes in and trades spots, leading to Claudio giving Magnus the Swing, but Volador hits Claudio with a Code Red for two. Rugido with a powerslam on Yuta for two, but the BCC takes them all out and Yuta finishes Rugido with the Seatbelt at 12:34. The CMLL guys all worked hard and this was fun. ***

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho lends his lifelong advice on eating chicken and dumplings. You gotta scoop them right to the bottom, apparently. Huge if true.

Meanwhile, Daniel Garcia continues to throw his name in the ring for a shot at Will Ospreay.

Meanwhile, the Acclaimed continue poking the Elite bears.

Meanwhile, Christian Cage and his friends petition the Elite for another title shot.

Mariah May v. Saraya

Mariah gets a short dropkick while Toni Storm joins us on commentary and tells her to “Smash her tits in” because AEW is where the “breast wrestle”. Saraya bails and we get a chase, as Mariah gets lured into a superkick on the floor. We take a break and return with Mariah making a comeback with a headbutt and handstand rana in the corner. To the top for a missile dropkick that gets two. Mariah with the hip attack for two. Saraya fires back with the Rampaige DDT for two, but Mariah cradles for two. Saraya with the scorpion crosslock, and Mariah taps at 9:15. They really need to stop beating her so much. Afterwards, the Outcasts do the beatdown, but Mina Shirakawa saves and poor Mariah is caught in the middle of a boob fight. Poor, poor, Mariah. **

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho suggests that Private Party might want to be a Public Party instead and Bryan Keith again steals the show.

Meanwhile, Bryan Danielson reflects on how his last epic year isn’t going how he wanted, because he loses all his big matches, but now he’s got one last shot via the Owen Hart tournament, and he’s gonna go out on top. Interesting that they finally brought up Danielson’s endless string of losses this year.

AEW World title: Swerve Strickland v. Roderick Strong

They fight for the lockup to start and Strong takes him down with a facelock, but Swerve walks on his hands and takes him down with a headscissors. Strong bails to the floor, and back in Swerve goes after the knee with a corner dropkick. Swerve goes up, but Taven distracts him and Strong is able to hit him with a backbreaker on the top turnbuckle to take over. Back to the floor, Swerve manages to catapult him into the post and we take a break. Back with Strong holding a chinlock, but Swerve fights back with the springboard elbow and flatliner, setting up the brainbuster for two. Strong with a rollup for two, but Swerve powerslams him for two. Strong bails to escape the house call kick and manages to send Swerve into the post before hitting a backbreaker onto the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. Back in the ring, that gets two. Swerve fights back and lands in a codebreaker as a result, and Strong hits him with the running elbows and a butterfly bomb for two. Sick Kick gets two. Swerve comes back again and takes Strong to the apron with a double atomp to the floor, but the House Call misses. Another finishes at 14:33, however. This ended up being a hell of a main event, and Strong is exactly the level of opponent to offer a challenge to Swerve but can lose in the end. ****. Also Swerve dancing with the stunt granny at ringside was delightful.

Unfortunately there was nothing announced for Rampage or Collision this week outside of one match, but a whole bunch of stuff happened on this one in between some good matches. Lots of it felt like time filler, however, like the endless Jericho segments that led to nothing. The build for the PPV is a bit scattershot thus far and this felt like a thumbs in the middle episode.