The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 05.29.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 05.29.24

Live from Los Angeles, CA

Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz & Tony Schiavone

Mercedes Mone joins us without even a show opening, celebrating her title win. So she puts Willow over as having a great match, but points out that Willow is way too nice and she got screwed over as a result. But then Skye Blue interrupts and takes credit for the mysterious attack on Mone in the dark weeks ago, as they FINALLY pay that off, and then she attacks out of the crowd to fully spoil the celebration. So I guess they’re still trying for the babyface run for Mercedes.

Meanwhile, the Elite arrives and we get a recap of Double or Nothing. That’s actually something they’ve failed to do a lot in the past, so it’s good to see them hitting the PPV recap hard right away.

Swerve Strickland v. Killswitch

This is some kind of House of the Dragon tie-in deal. Game of Thrones is a show that everyone assumes I’d be into, but I’ve never actually watched it. Really Swerve should be facing Bryan Danielson and then they could determine whether it’s Swerve’s house or the House of the Dragon. Unless they stuck Killswitch in there because they thought dragons are the same as dinosaurs, which is frankly kind of racist and disappointing here in 2024. They head to the floor and Swerve hits a neckbreaker out there, but he goes to the apron and Killswitch slams him off and into the railing to take over. Back in the ring, the dinosaur gains the advantage and we take a break. Or not, as TSN doesn’t go to the break and continues on with the feed. Killswitch pounds away on the ropes and hits a wheelbarrow suplesx, and FINALLY they go to the break. Back with Killswitch hitting a chokeslam for two. He grabs a chair, but Nana saves his man and Swerve hits a diving stomp off the apron. Back in, Swerve with the House Call kick and he goes up to finish with the Swerve Stomp, but it only gets two. So another House Call kick finishes instead at 11:48. And then he cuts off an obvious hair extension to get his revenge for that. Match was OK. **1/2

Meanwhile, Jon Moxley isn’t pissing away at Disneyworld tonight, he’s wrestling every night.

TV Time, with Chris Jericho

Because who loves TV time more than Chris Jericho? Big Bill lets us know that although the leaves may fall in the Fall, they grow back stronger and brighter than ever in the Spring. So Jericho has a new Learning Tree T-shirt, and offers it to the crowd before changing his mind and just hanging in the corner. This brings out Bryan Keith, apparently the newest student of the Learning Tree. He demands more respect for Jericho, and Big Bill declares that Bryan is the Bad Apple, but this brings out Hook to beat up some security guys, only to be talked down by Samoa Joe, who offers secret advice.

And then the production guys get confused about which video package they’re going to, but figure it out on the second try.

Jon Moxley v. Rocky Romero

Rocky immediately dropkicks Jon to the floor and follows with a tope. Back in, he goes after Moxley’s injured arm, but Mox hits him with the drop suplex and kicks the shit out of him. Rocky goes up a stomps on the arm, then follows with a seated dropkick and works on the arm. We take a break and return with them fighting on the top rope, as Moxley brings him down with a superplex, but Rocky beats on the arm with kicks. So Moxley puts him down with a cutter, but Rocky gets a DDT and goes to the cross armbreaker. Mox reverses out with knees and into the bulldog choke, but Rocky snaps the arm. They head up again and Rocky brings him down with a flying armbar and Mox has to power out of that. Moxley with a lariat and that sets up the Death Rider for the pin at 10:44. Crowd was pretty dead for this one and it kind of dragged as a result. Rocky is a solid midcard guy but no one takes him seriously as a challenger. **1/2

Meanwhile, Samoa Joe takes charge of the Hook mentorship.

Don Callis joins us with his contract offer to Orange Cassidy, but he calmly tears it up without even reading it. I wonder if that’s how Becky Lynch’s deal is going to go. But then Stokely and Statlander interrupt, and distract Orange while Trent Beretta accepts the offer of joining the Family instead. And then the whole thing pays off in the most incredible way possible, with Trent offering the Best Friends hug to Don Callis, complete with the camera move, while the crowd nearly vomits in anger and Callis has this amazing grin on his face. OK that was worth all the buildup.

Meanwhile, Daniel Garcia announces that it’s time to go after the International title.

TBS title: Mercedes Mone v. Skye Blue

Mercedes takes her down with an armdrag and gets a knee strike for two. Skye decides to retreat, but Mone hits her with the meteora off the apron, which gets two. Small package gets two, but Skye catches her with a neckbreaker for two. We take a break and return with Skye holding a chinlock, but Mercedes rolls her into another double knees for two. Backstabber gets two. Mone goes up and Skye brings her down with a powerbomb, which Mone turns into a rana. Skye with the Skyfall for two. They trade superkicks, but Mercedes finishes with the Moneymaker at 8:14. This was fine. **1/4. And then we get an appearance from Stephanie Vaquer, from the earlier CMLL video package, which I guess is the Forbidden Door match.

Meanwhile, Stokely and Statlander are tired of being the bodyguard for the weak women who need a bodyguard.

The Elite join us to address the TNT title situation. The crowd is chanting for Punk, so Okada offers a “Shut up, bitches” and that puts an end to it. So the Bucks are here bearing gifts, first up a new custom Lambo for Okada, which moves him to tears of joy before he goes back to stoicism again. Next up, Matthew apologizes for telling Adam Copeland to “break a leg” at gorilla and thus jinxing him. But moving on, they strip him of the TNT title, and then award it to Jack Perry. But then this brings out Christopher Daniels, who is now Interim Executive Vice President, and instead makes a ladder match for Forbidden Door for the title, complete with qualifying matches like WWE does all the time. And then the Acclaimed come out to back him up. Honestly I would have been fine with just awarding the title to Perry and moving on instead of coming up with fake authority figures and another tournament. And really there’s not many colder acts right now than the Acclaimed so I don’t know why they’re sticking them with the Elite.

Casino Gauntlet match:

We start with Jay White and Pac, and apparently it’s random interval times and randomly drawn people. And the match can end at any time. Pac quickly chokes out Jay with his own jacket and takes him to the floor for a beating out there. Back in, Pac with a rana to put White on the floor, and he follows with a dive. Shotgun dropkick gets two. This brings out Mistico at #3 at 3:00, and he cleans house on both guys and chases them to the floor for a dive. We take a break and return with Will Ospreay at #4 as the crowd goes insane. He teases an alliance with Jay White and then destroys him instead, but Pac rolls up Will for two. Will takes it good-naturedly, but Mistico hits them both with a flying bodypress and puts Will in La Mistica. And then Shooter Umino is #5 in an interesting addition and he immediately has an awesome sequence with Ospreay and hits him with a tornado DDT for two. Claudio Castagnoli is #6 and he wallops everyone with forearms outside, but gets rolled up by Umino for two. Uppercut gets two, however. Claudio with the Giant Swing on White as we take a break. Back with Lio Rush making his return at #7 as this is a pretty batshit match, and he fires away on Claudio with some crazy kicks and then hits Umino with an enzuigiri. Claudio takes them both out with a clothesline. Orange Cassidy is #8 despite the beating from Trent, and he hits Claudio with the stunner right away. But Ospreay comes in for the showdown, only for Jay White to sneak in and take them both out with a uranage for two on Orange. Hechicero is #9 and he runs wild on everyone and rolls up Orange for two. Ospreay breaks it up and Hechicero clotheslines him, but Mistico clears the ring. That leaves Umino and Orange, but Orange superkicks him and rolls up Pac for two. White almost gets the Blade Runner and the groan from the crowd was amazing, and then Juice Robinson takes out Pac. Ospreay comes back with the Stormbreaker on Orange, which is reversed into a cradle for two, but the Ozcutter finishes at 22:28 and Ospreay gets the title shot at Swerve at Forbidden Door. DAMN, that’s gonna take some stones to book a finish there. I would 100% just put Ospreay over clean and start the run on top because I’m wholly biased and I think he’s the best in the world right now, but Swerve really shouldn’t be losing that soon either. I was not expecting that finish here and you can’t say it’s predictable, that’s for sure. Much like the original, this version of the Casino Gauntlet was insanely fun, especially with all the Special Guest Stars popping up and getting crazier with every new entrant, and for me, really saved what was a lacklustre post-PPV show. ****1/4.

As noted, another very hot or miss episode of Dynamite this week, although I loved the main event and I’m at a loss as to who’s going to win the main event at Forbidden Door, which is the kind of intrigue that’s been lacking on top for a while. Some new directions, some continuations of directions I was already sick of, and another tournament announcement.