The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 04.16.25

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 04.16.25

“Episode 289”

Live from Boston, MA, in another awesome looking building.

Your hosts are Excalibur & Tony Schiavone

BREAKING NEWS: The Death Riders have taken out Hook, leaving Joe and Shibata to fight for the Trios titles 2-on-3.

Owen Hart tournament semi-finals: Mercedes Mone v. Athena

Holy cow, Athena is back on Dynamite again! I never thought I’d see the day. They fight for the lockup to start and take it all the way to the tunnels and back into the ring again. They trade legsweeps for two and Mercedes gets a backslide for two and we get a wacky rolling small package exchange for two. TSN’s feed is REALLY flaky here, dropping out a few times and even switching to a basketball game at one point, so I don’t know what’s going on there. It comes back with Mercedes hitting her with a running knee in the corner for two, but Athena counters the Moneymaker into a sunset flip for two. Athena with a handspring elbow in the corner for two. Mone suddenly takes her down with the Bank Statement, but Athena manages to roll to the floor while Mone is still holding the move. They head to the apron and Mercedes cuts her off with a double knee to leave her hanging, but Mercedes takes too long dancing and Athena pops up with a stunner for a double down on the floor as we take a break. Back with them slugging it out in the ring and they trade tombstone attempts, which finally turns into the lungblower from Mone for another double down. Mercedes gets two off that and follows with a pair of DDTs, which gets two. Mercedes with rolling suplexes, but she stops to dance again and Athena fires back with rolling powerbombs as a result until Mone gets a desperation backbreaker to escape. Athena with a death valley driver for two. Athena misses a blind charge and Mercedes hits with a double knee to put her on the floor. Back to the apron and Mercedes tries for a german suplex and then goes with a powerbomb attempt instead, but Athena blocks that and stomps her down and follows with a powerslam on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. That gets two. Athena with a crossface, but Mone switches that to the Bank Statement and Athena counters for two. Mone bails to the floor and suckers Athena into a charge out there, which results in Athena getting run into the railing. So they slug it out on top of the railing, but Athena dropkicks her into the LED board, and back in for the O-Face, which Mercedes blocks and counters into a rollup for the pin at 21:20 to advance to the finals. Feels like this should have been the finals, actually. They were given time and they delivered, with Athena’s first loss since SASKATOON. ****1/4

Meanwhile, the Elite stop by Hangman’s interview time to accept his thanks for screwing Swerve out of the World title and then Okada wants him to smile more.

Meanwhile, some jabroni from the 2011 Bruins shows off the Cup that was STOLEN from the rightful winners. FUCK YOU, BRUINS.

Owen Hart tournament quarter-finals: Hangman Page v. Josh Alexander

I was wondering when he’d finally show up. They trade takedowns and slug it out with elbows, but Alexander boots him down. Page with the fallaway slam and sends him to the apron for the springboard clothesline. They fight on the floor and Josh misses a charge and hits the railing, allowing Hangman to dive off the ramp with a clothesline as we take a break. Back with Alexander hitting a german suplex for two, but Page is FIRED UP and hits him with a MAN SIZED lariat for the double down. Back to the apron and Page backdrops him out there and follows with the moonsault to the floor. Back in with a powerbomb for two. Alexander with a cradle for two and follows with a torture rack into a slam for two. Alexander with the anklelock, but Page gets the ropes and hits him with an enzuigiri and then moonsaults into a tombstone for two. Alexander wisely bails to the apron to avoid the buckshot, and then he puts Page on the apron and hits him with a bodyblock to send him to the floor, but Page hooks him in a small package for the pin at 13:17 to advance to the semis. This was good but Alexander seemed like he had nerves or something and they took a while to get on the same page. ***. Afterwards, Kyle Fletcher hits the ring for a showdown in advance of the semi-finals, but Don Callis has words with Josh Alexander and recruits him into the family for an attack on Page, allowing Kyle to finish him off with a brainbuster.

Meanwhile, the Patriarchy are ready to move on without Christian, but then daddy returns and Nick Wayne tries talking shit to his face and Cage books him against Komander for the ROH TV title on Collision to make him prove himself.

Meanwhile, on Collision, FTR tries to piledrive Tony Schiavone, but Daniel Garcia saves and then gets destroyed later in the night as a result. Heel FTR rules.

AEW World tag team title: The Hurt Syndicate v. The Gates of Agony

Liona actually attacks the champs by himself and no-sells a DDT from Shelton, and the Gates double-team him in the corner and Liona gets two. Over to Kaun, but Shelton hits him with a spinkick and it’s over to Bobby. Flatliner and snap suplex from Lashley and he takes Kaun to the floor and destroys him out there as we take a break. Back with a double clothesline and Liona gets the hot tag and trips on the way in, but he still manages to run wild on Benjamin with a samoan drop for two. He hits Bobby with corner clotheslines, but Lashley goes for the full nelson and Kaun breaks that up. Liona and Lashley fight to the floor, and Shelton hits Kaun with a superkick and hurls him around with german suplexes while Bobby spears Liona on the floor. Back in the ring, Bobby spears Kaun to finish him off at 9:16. Some good meaty man action at times but the result was never in doubt. **. As usual, this brings MJF out but this time he brings a bevy of women in exchange for membership. Shelton wants MJF’s watch as well, but still can’t give him the thumbs up.

Meanwhile, the Hurt Syndicate are still having issues with MJF but the ladies are helping.

Owen Hart tournament semi-finals: Will Ospreay v. Konosuke Takeshita

Takeshita takes him down and SHOOTS THE HALF for two, but Ospreay fires back with chops while Callis notes that he was “speaking Canadian” to Josh Alexander so the announcers couldn’t understand him. Ospreay takes him down with the armbar, but Takeshita hits him with a lariat and follows with a seated dropkick to put him on the floor. He follows with a dive as we take a break. Back with Takeshita working the back, but Ospreay hits him with the flipping kick and the springboard elbow for two. Takeshita puts him with another lariat, but Ospreay fights back with an enzuigiri and Takeshita no-sells it and suplexes him on his head for two. They head to the top and Ospreay comes down with the stunner, and then out to the ramp for an Ozcutter out there. Back in, Ospreay snaps off a missile dropkick and follows with a Sky Twister Press for two. Another Ozcutter gets two as he counters out of the Blue Thunder Bomb. They trade takedowns and Ospreay cradles for two, but Takeshita rolls him into the german suplex for two. They slug it out and Takeshita wins that one decisively. Ospreay escapes Raging Fire and puts him down with hook kicks, but Takeshita evades the hidden blade and the Blue Thunder Bomb gets two. Ospreay pops up and hits the Hidden Blade, but it doesn’t even get one and Takeshita tries a Tiger Driver, but Ospreay reverses to a tombstone, and Takeshita fires back with a Hidden Blade for a double down. That whole run was incredible stuff. They fight to the top and Takeshita puts him down with a lariat, but Ospreay lands on his feet and hits a Hidden Blade for two. Will tries another one, but walks into the knee strike, and then reverses a Raging Fire into a rana and Styles Clash for two. Takeshita with the knee strike, but Ospreay flips him into a Storm Breaker for the pin at 21:35 to advance to the finals. All these guys do is have great matches. So this was one of the best matches ever featured on Dynamite, period. *****

AEW World Trios title: The Death Riders v. Samoa Joe & Shibata & Powerhouse Hobbs

Big brawl to start as Hobbs is in no mood tonight and beats on Yuta, despite getting a title shot out of Hook’s injury. Yuta gets worked over in the Opps corner, but Shibata gets caught in the Rider corner as we take a break. Why are they taking a break when we’re already running over time? Back with Shibata fighting off Claudio and trying for a choke, but Claudio escapes with a jawbreaker. Shibata with an STO and makes the hot tag to Samoa Joe, who hits Yuta with a senton for two. Powerslam gets two. So Mox gets all worked up and grabs a chair to try for the DQ, but Willow foils his plans again and everyone trades the big moves for the double down. This brings the Young Bucks out, but Swerve cuts them off. Shibata takes care of Claudio on the ramp while Joe goes after Moxley, but Yuta breaks that up. So Hobbs takes care of him, and Willow takes care of Marina, and Joe chokes out Moxley to win the titles as someone FINALLY beats the goddamn Death Riders at 14:12. And we get a big babyface celebration with everyone from the back, just like I was asking for a few days ago! The match was just a bunch of stuff that happened with a million run-ins, but damned if Moxley didn’t put Joe over clean as a sheet in the end and the GOOD GUYS WIN. **1/2

I mean, the two Owen Hart semi-finals alone would qualify this as an all-time great episode of the show and the ending was just the icing on the cake. Talk about a victory lap.