The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 04.10.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 04.10.24

Live from Charleston, WV

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone and Taz

Samoa Joe v. Dustin Rhodes

This is of course non-title, since no one would buy a member of the Rhodes family beating a Samoan for a World title. Swerve attacks Joe before he can even do his entrance, and they brawl by the entrance before Swerve puts him through an innocent table and referees break it up. So I guess they’ll do it later instead.

Last week: Trent turns on his supposed Best Friend Orange Cassidy, but he whispers something to Kris Statlander to explain himself. And Orange will apparently address us later in the show, which Renee tells us while standing in front of his elaborate dressing room door.

TNT title: Adam Copeland v. Penta el Zero Miedo

Penta actually hits a spear right away and gets two, and goes up with a double stomp for two. Copeland escapes the Fear Factor, so Penta superkicks him to the floor and back in for the chops on the ropes as we take a break. Back with Penta hitting a high kick in the corner and we get a weird graphic overlay on the screen which the announcers apparently don’t see. Penta with a seated superkick for two. They trade headscissor takedowns and then throw stereo boots for a double down. They slug it out and we get a helpful Countdown To The Young Bucks so we know when to call one million of our Nielsen-connected friends and tell them to watch. Penta tosses him and follows with a dive, and Copeland beats the count, so Penta kicks him in the neck and we take another break. Back with Penta hitting a backstabber for two. Mule kick in the corner gets two. Copeland switches him to a crossface. They fight to the apron and Penta superkicks him, but Cope hits him with a powerslam on the apron, the HARDEST PART OF THE RING, and they’re both down and out on the floor. Poor Alex takes a spear from Copeland and they fight back into the ring again, where Penta brings him down from the top rope with a Code Red for two. Penta snaps the arm for two and sets up for another Fear Factor attempt, but Copeland fights out of that and blocks a springboard with a spear to finish out of nowhere at 20:31. The Cope Open continues to produce fun combinations and great matches. **** Afterwards, Julia Hart and Brody King pop up in the ring for the attack, but Willow makes the save, and that feels like a Collision mixed tag match waiting to be made.

Meanwhile, LionHook (UGH) have brought in Shibata to help them against Shane Taylor. But no worries, as long as everyone does and says everything Chris Jericho tells them, they’ll be fine. Shibata isn’t so sure.

Meanwhile, we take a look back at the FTR-Bucks rivalry.

Meanwhile, Mark Briscoe has a new camo-themed ROH World title and some fancy words that Eddie Kingston doesn’t understand. And indeed, Copeland offers a mixed tag match with Willow while Stokely tries to apologize for insulting Eddie Kingston the last time he saw him.

Meanwhile, Matthew and Nicholas Jackson present the footage from All In, as they discuss a backstage confrontation between Jack Perry and another individual, who is good friends with FTR, and tried to make this whole show about himself. So the Bucks went out and wrestled without time to hydrate or even pray. And we get the footage of that individual getting into a “high school scrap” with Jack Perry backstage, and the Bucks blame everything on FTR because they were so distracted by FTR’s friend that they lost the match. Was this REALLY worth the potential ratings bump? This came off so needlessly inside baseball and WCW 2000. Playing to the terminally online tribalists is not the way forward.

FTR joins us, and they’re NOT ON THE FORMAT SHEET, and they’re sick and tired of talking about the whole thing and hearing the Bucks rehash stuff from 8 months ago. WE ALL ARE. But then Dax saves things somewhat with an impassioned promo where he tells the Bucks to go home if they don’t want to be a part of putting in the work and “saving” AEW. Oh my god stop with the fourth-wall breaking metatextual crap and just put on a wrestling show.

Will Ospreay joins Renee, and apparently the unnamed HHH thinks Will is afraid of the grind. But Will knows all about the grind, unlike HHH, who grinded on the boss’s daughter to get his position. But then at Dynasty they’re going to find out who the best wrestler in the world really is. See there you go, that’s what I want in my wrestling show. The last part, not the petty shots at the other company.

Meanwhile, Julia Hart is creepy as hell.

Hook, Chris Jericho & Katsuyori Shibata v. Shane Taylor, Lee Moriarty & Anthony Ogogo

Jericho slugs away on Moriarty and gets a top rope rana, and it’s over to Shibata as Moriarty gets into an ill-advised slugfest with him. Over to Hook, and Shane beats him down as we take a break. Back with Jericho accidentally avoiding a hot tag from Hook, so Shibata comes in instead and beats Moriarty down with chops in the corner. Snap suplex gets two. But then he accidentally punts Jericho off the apron and Moriarty rolls up Shibata for two. But then Jericho and Hook get into a squabble, much like the one we saw earlier in the show, and Shibata gets pinned at 7:31. Whatever this is leading to, hopefully they get it over with because the whole thing is brutal and not helping anyone. *1/2. Did Ogogo even tag into the match?

Meanwhile, Dustin Rhodes is ready for Samoa Joe once he returns later tonight.

AEW Contintental champion Kazuchika Okada v. Christiano Argento

Okada beats him down and quickly hits the neckbreaker, and then puts him down with the Okada dropkick and finishes with the Rainmaker at 1:18. And then he accepts the challenge of Pac for Dynasty, which gives us another guaranteed banger for that show. But after Pac comes out to confront Okada, the Bucks head out to attack, and the crowd cheers for the mysterious individual from the earlier video footage. Oh that one has certainly backfired on them. Way to go, Tony. Why make yourself look second-rate like that? Hope they at least got a ratings bump.

Meanwhile, the Bang Bang Gang has a baseball bat ready for Daddy Ass and the Acclaimed. So are they unifying the titles at Dynasty or what?

Toni Storm joins us for a champagne toast with Thunder Rosa, but it just ends up being Toni hitting her with the glass and wiping off Rosa’s facepaint before Deonna makes the save.

Mariah May v. Anna Jay

A kiss from Toni gets Mariah all hot and bothered on the way to the ring, and she takes control of Anna as a result, but Anna necksnaps her in the ropes. Mariah sends her to the floor and we take a break. Back with May hitting a dropkick, but she misses the hip attack and Anna comes back with a running kick in the corner. Iconoclasm gets two. Mariah comes back with the hip attack for two. Anna gets a pair of slams for two, but she goes for her wacky finisher and Mariah counters into a rollup for the pin at 8:33. Most of the match was during the break. **. But then Anna chokes her out to get revenge, but Mina Shirakowa from Stardom makes the save and revives May with champagne and makes out with her a bit. This was…something.

Meanwhile, Alex Marvez sits down with Mercedes Mone, who is still not wrestling yet. But then the lights go out and a mysterious person attacks her.

Samoa Joe v. Dustin Rhodes

This looks like Cody and Roman continuing the story on the indie legends circuit 20 years later. So we try it again, and this time Joe makes it to the ring and they brawl on the floor to start. Back in the ring, Dustin slugs away in the corner, but Joe tosses him and sends him tinto the post, busting him open as we take a break. Back with a graphic closeup on Dustin’s bloody forehead, but Dustin comes back with a powerslam and the flip flop and fly. Code Red gets two. Joe clobbers him with a lariat to put him on the floor, but Dustin gets frustrated and grabs the AEW title after sending Joe into the post. Luckily the ref talks him out of it, so Dustin hits Crossroads for two. But Joe has no trouble using the belt, and after distracting the ref, he knocks out Dustin with the title and pins him at 9:42. An OK Joe match. **1/2. Joe goes for the choke afterwards, but Swerve breaks it up and steals the title to get a bit of revenge to end the show.

It’s a shame that they couldn’t just stick with the in-ring stuff that works so well for them this week, because the show was really good when it was guys in the ring or guys challenging other guys to matches in the ring to find out who the better person in the ring is. But the “damning” Punk footage was a pretty sad shot across the bow of WWE and served literally no purpose. Unless you wanted to somehow make CM PUNK look like the victim here, in which case bravo, I guess. So yeah, not the best night for ol’ TK.