The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 03.27.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 03.27.24

Live from Quebec City, QC

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Taz

Will Ospreay v. Katsuyori Shibata

They take it to the mat to start and Shibata immediately goes for an armbar, but Will makes the ropes. More reversals on the mat and then Shibata lays a beating on him in the corner, but Ospreay kicks him down to set up a John Woo dropkick in the corner to send him to the floor. Will with the dive, but Shibata boots him in the face to send him off the apron and suplexes him on the floor to take over. Back in the ring, Shibata goes to work on the leg and puts him down with a backdrop driver as we take a break. Back with another battle on the floor and Shibata hits him with a running boot, but Ospreay comes off the railing with a forearm and back in with a Phenomenal Forearm for two. But then they slug it out with elbows and Shibata casually puts him down with a forearm shot to win that battle. They trade running boots in the corner and Shibata hits him with his own John Woo dropkick. They do dueling abdominal stretches and Shibata turns that into an Octopus. Which then sets up a battle of german suplexes, and Shibata gets an STF before Will makes the ropes. Shibata with a pair of PK attempts, but Ospreay catches the foot and fights back. Shibata boots him down and Ospreay does an insane kip up into an enzuigiri to pop the crowd. Shibata with a sleeper suplex and then back to the sleeper, but Ospreay makes the ropes and then hits him with a guillotine in the ropes. Os-Cutter gets one as Shibata pops up with a kick and they trade shots until Will gets a backdrop suplex and back elbow for two. Tiger Driver follows, and the Hidden Blade finishes at 18:57. I love that they were just like “Let’s go out and do a New Japan match to open the show” and beat the crap out of each other. ****1/4. Have I mentioned that Ospreay is the best yet this week? Because he is.

Meanwhile, we get a video package with the history of Bryan Danielson, leaving out a pretty notable period for some strange reason.

Meanwhile, Rene chats with the EVPs and they want Alex Marvez so they can circle back to the interview later. And their biggest goal is getting the AEW World tag team titles back and avenging their loss to Private Party because lightning never ever strikes the same place twice. ACKSHULLY that is not true at all. There are many documented cases of lightning striking twice.

Meanwhile, Okada arrives with his new belt and hot car.

AEW World tag team title tournament quarterfinal: Matthew & Nicholas Jackson v. Private Party

Private Party are apparently back to “Zay and Quen” again, which is much easier for me to type so I approve. Zay rolls up Matthew for two, but the Bucks try some double-teaming and PP gets a double rollup for two off that. They clean house and the EVPs bail, setting up a stereo dive from Private Party. The Party manages a cool Silly String using the railing, but then Nicholas takes Quen off the railing with a falcon arrow onto the floor for the topper. Quen beats the count at 9 and the EVPs go to work on him in the ring with a suplex from Nicholas onto Matthew’s knees, and we take a break. Back with Quen fighting off Matthew with a Side Effect before making the hot tag to Zay, who runs wild with a moonsault onto Nicholas outside. Back in with a crossbody on Matthew for two. The Bucks double-team Zay with a double blockbuster for two, but Quen makes the save. Quen comes in again and the Bucks just beat on him and add a german suplex on the apron. Quen reverses the TK Driver into a rollup for two, and they hit Gin & Juice on Nicholas, but that sends him out of the ring. So they double-team Matthew with More Bang for Your Buck for two, but Nicholas makes the save. So Nicholas grabs the bell, but Quen grabs the belt off the podium and knocks out Matthew for two, as Nicholas makes the save. Quen tries a 450 and misses, and the EVP Trigger finishes, after some questionable execution, at 13:28. This felt like it should have been great but the crowd was distracted by something for the entire match and everyone seemed completely rattled as a result and was missing stuff left and right. **1/2. Clearly the Bucks are going to the finals and the only real question is who they’re facing.

Meanwhile, Don Callis is sick of hearing about Swerve’s house.

Meanwhile, Mercedes arrives in her $10 million car.

Meanwhile, Darby Allin hangs out with Tony Hawk. Cool guy, Tony Hawk.

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho has a proposition for Hook: He’s offering advice and mentorship, and maybe a team? This was kind of a useless segment.

Willow Nightingale v. Skye Blue v. Anna Jay v. Kris Statlander

Anna clears the ring to start, but takes a running splash from Willow that gets two. Skye beats Willow down in the corner and chokes her out, and a DDT gets two. Statlander hits Anna with a sliding lariat for two, but Skye trips up Kris and then Willow pounces Skye on the floor before having words with Mercedes on the desk as we take a break. Back with everyone slugging it out and Kris wins that battle and hits a spinning falcon arrow on Skye for two. Anna with a superplex on Statlander for two, but Willow saves and powerbombs Skye, which is reversed into a rollup for two. Code Blue gets two. Anna pancakes Statlander onto Skye and they both cover for two, but Willow dropkicks Anna out of the way for a showdown with Kris. But then Skye runs them together to get rid of Statlander, which leads to Willow hitting a death valley driver on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. Back in the ring, Statlander tries a piledriver on Anna, which is reversed for two, but Willow powerbombs Anna for the pin at 10:19 to earn the title shot at Julia Hart. So then Julia lays out Willows with the title, but she shoots dirty looks at Mercedes and then thinks better of it and leaves. A very fun match! ***1/4.

Meanwhile, Dustin Rhodes still wants a fight with someone, so the Butcher has some receipts (and a moustache with its own musk) and wants a rematch on Rampage.

AEW World tag team title tournament quarterfinal: Orange Cassidy & Trent Beretta v. The Kingdom

The Friends clear the ring to start, but the Kingdom goes to work on Trent and Taven hits him with a dropkick. Trent fights them off in the Kingdom corner and hits Bennett with double knees, but Orange inadvertently distracts the ref and Bennett piledrives Trent on the apron as we take a break. That’s a pretty heavy “We’ll be right back after these messages” move to go out on. Back with Trent fighting back and making the hot tag to Orange, who hits Bennett with a stunner for two. Kingdom comes back with the Proton Pack for two. Best Friends with Strong Zero on Bennett for two. They trade DDTs and Trent puts Taven on the floor with a knee strike, but Strong interrupts the hug like a complete monster. Kingdom tries to finish Trent with a piledriver, but Chucky saves and Trent rolls up Bennett for the pin to advance at 9:43. I’m sure this will set up an ROH tag team title match any day now, right? LOL. *** And then we get another tease of the hug, but this time the Bucks interrupt via the Cody-Vator and then go back down again.

Meanwhile, Kyle O’Reilly continues to encounter self-doubt.

Meanwhile, Adam Copeland has decided to move on from Christian and close the chapter.

Konosuke Takeshita v. Swerve Strickland

They trade takedowns to start and Takeshita hits him with the clothesline and chokes him out in the corner, but Swerve gets the springboard elbow and a neckbreaker in the ropes and that gets two. Takeshita drops him with a brainbuster and then puts him on the floor with a forearm as we take a break. Back with them slugging it out, but Swerve backdrops him to the floor and follows with a rana off the apron. Back in with a crossbody for one. Swerve slugs away, but hurts his neck throwing punches and Takeshita just waffles him to put him down again. Swerve tries his rolling flatliner, but Taekshita catches him in a sitout facebuster and then tosses him and follows with a dive. Back in, Takeshita wants a top rope brainbuster, but Swerve fights him off and brings him down with a DDT instead. Swerve with a Sky Twister Press for two off that. Takeshita with the poison rana into the Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Swerve with a headscissor into the flatliner for two and he goes up, but Takeshita bails to the apron, so Swerve stomps him out there anyway. Back in for another one, but Takeshita catches him in a powerbomb and then a wheelbarrow suplex and running knee for two. To the top and Swerve fights him off but misses the Stomp. He recovers with a second try off the House Call, however, and the Swerve Stomp gets two. Takeshita keeps coming with a high knee, but Swerve stomps him in mid-air and hits the JML Driver to finish at 19:39. I was kind of doubting it before the break and then they just kept getting more and more insane with every near-fall. ****1/2.

Opener was great and the main event was insanely great, but everything else in the middle was kind of take it or leave it thanks to an apathetic crowd and a few too many talking segments. But man Swerve looks like a main event star out there, and good for Takeshita for being able to hang with him as a guy who belongs in that spot.