The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 01.17.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 01.17.24

Live from Charleston, South Carolina

Your hosts are Ian Riccaboni, Excalibur & Taz

TNT title: Christian Cage v. Dustin Rhodes

I feel like Christian could be the father figure that Dustin was lacking for most of his life. They fight for the lockup to start and Christian’s turtleneck gets messed up and he takes it out on Dustin. Fair. Dustin with a powerslam for two, but Christian takes him down and tries to post him. Dustin fights that off and they brawl on the floor, and that goes badly for Christian. Back in the ring, Dustin slugs away in the corner and they fight to the top before Dustin bumps to the floor and Christian hits him with a dive as we take a break. Back with them slugging it out and Dustin whips him into the corners and follows with the bulldog for two. Dustin with the Shattered Nuts, but Christian blocks the kick, so Dustin hits a Code Red for two. Christian bails and Dustin tries his own dive, but Christian catches him with a cheapshot and necks him on the top rope, setting up a frog splash for two. Dustin gets a cradle, but the ref is occupied and Nick Wayne pushes them over for two. They slug it out and Dustin tries another bulldog, but Christian blocks that, so this time Dustin gets the nut kick in the corner for real. To the top and Dustin gets a superplex and rolls into the Crossroads for a very close two. Damn even I bit on that one. Dustin deals with the various goons on the outside and hits Nick with a destroyer on the floor, but Christian catches Dustin with a shot to the turnbuckle and follows with a spear. Killswitch gets another impressive two count. The crowd gets Dustin all fired up, but a second Killswitch finishes at 15:29. Goddamn, where did THIS match come from? ***3/4. Great old school battle from two vets.

Meanwhile, Swerve is no longer distracted by the Continental Classic and he’s watching the title match tonight. Also he’s already beaten Hangman twice and has no reason to do it again.

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho blames the Don Callis Family for costing him the tag team titles on the weekend, but Matt Sydal stops by and wants a match with him first on Rampage.

Orange Cassidy & Trent Beretta v. Penta & Komander

Penta trades kicks with Orange to start and sends him to the floor, but Trent comes in and cuts off a dive. We take a break and return with Komander taking Trent to the floor with a headscissors and Penta comes in with a sling blade on Orange and Made in Japan for two while Komander takes care of Trent outside. Excalibur notes that Penta might have a good case for a title shot at Orange if he pins him here. Considering that Orange gives title shots to people who greet him backstage, I’d call it extreme overkill. Trent beats on Komander on the ropes, but Komander gets a cradle for two. Penta with a destroyer on Trent and Komander does the ropewalk splash for two. Phoenix splash misses, however, and Trent hits him with the knee strike. Penta tries a destroyer on Trent, but Orange breaks it up and hits Komander with the Orange Punch, allowing Trent to finish with the Strong Zero at 9:13. This was a fun little sprint but it kind of fell apart at the end and single-celled organisms pulling themselves out of the primordial ooze could have predicted who was doing the job. ***. This sets up the big hug, but the Undisputed Kingdom breaks it up and Roddy is still doing his tough guy act. So Orange has had enough and wants the title match right now, but Roddy wants the match at the PPV instead. This felt like a very WWE promo segment.

Meanwhile, Hangman Page, turning into Magnum TA before our eyes, denies ever thinking about Swerve Strickland, because he’s not the champion.

Mark Briscoe joins us to talk about the anniversary of Jay’s death, and although Jay’s daughter was told she would never walk again, she walks out on the stage and it’s a very wholesome moment. And then we get an awesome video package about Jay’s career.

Meanwhile, Renee sits down with Nicholas and Matthew Jackson, the EVPs. Matthew goes on a paranoid rant about “rumors” and how they’ll do anything to save AEW. Next up, Matthew discusses how the locker room morale dropped when they started leaning on “self serviing cancerous superstars” like Sting while Renee rolls her eyes. So they’re going to have to say goodbye to Sting and everyone like him.

ROH Six-Man title: Brian Cage & The Gates of Agony v. Jay White & The Gunns

Jay throws chops on Toa, but he gets chopped down again in turn. Kaun comes in and gets caught in the Bang Bang Gang corner, but Austin gets cocky with Brian Cage and gets thrown around as a result. The Gates double-team him in the corner for two and we take a break. Back with Colten making a comeback and hitting Cage with a neckbreaker, and a full nelson slam on Kaun gets two. But then Toa spears him and the Gates give him a triple team powerbomb for two. We all brawl on the floor off that and White runs Cage into the post and gets the hot tag from Colten. Jay runs wild on Kaun with chops and hits the uranage, and the Gunns hit Cage with 310 to Yuma. But then Nana trips up White and Kaun hits a lungblower for two. But then Nana comes in and Anthony Bowens prevents him from interfering, which allows White to recover with the Blade Runner on Kaun for the pin and the titles at 9:33. Weirdly interesting to see the Bullet Club as babyfaces but it was becoming inevitable. Didn’t love the match and Jay White seemed like he was 4 levels above the star power of everyone else in there, but it was fine. **1/2.

Deonna Purrazzo v. Anna Jay

Toni Storm, joining us on commentary, says what we’re all thinking and speculates that Deonna, an Italian from New Jersey, might be MOB AFFILIATED. Huge if true. They trade takedowns to start and Anna necks her on the top rope as we take a break. Back with Deonna making a comeback while Toni continues to confuse Ian with Tony Schiavone and cracks up the announce table. Meanwhile Anna gets a backstabber for two, but Deonna reverses to the armbar and Anna makes the ropes. The crowd is unfortunately far more invested in Toni mugging at ringside, but Deonna finishes with the armbar at 6:50 and gets a good pop for it. Most of the match was during the commercial break as usual. **. And then Deonna has words for Toni, who gets so mad that she promises to “go in the ring and sock her right in the butt” before getting into a shoe-throwing battle and then retreating on Luther’s shoulders.

Private Party v. Top Flight

So after last week’s rebrand to “Zay and Quen”, Private Party is back to their own names again, which feels like a disappointing step back to status quo. Darius trades hammerlocks with Kassidy and they do stereo kip ups for the stalemate. Over to Dante and Quen as they trade takedowns and fight over Quen’s anklelock attempt. Private Party cleans house and we take a break. Back with Kassidy fighting his way out of the corner and making the tag to Quen, who dives onto both Martins, taking out the announce table feed in the process, and Quen comes back in with a 450 on Dante for two. Top Flight with a double-team flatliner on Kassidy for two, but Quen saves and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA. Gin and Juice on Dante, but Darius breaks it up, so Quen rolls him up and pins him with the ropes at 10:23. This was good but felt like it should have been way better. Just kind of a match overall. **1/2.

Meanwhile, Darby Allin promises that they’re going to end Sting’s story as AEW tag team champions.

AEW World title: Samoa Joe v. Hook

Hook storms the gate at the bell, but Joe tosses him and they fight on the floor. Back in the ring, Joe just destroys him with an elbow shot and beats him down in the corner before adding some kicks and dropping an elbow on him for two. Hook fights back and they fight to the floor again, where Hook gets a flying fist off the apron, but Joe smashes him through the announce table with an uranage. Joe’s victory lap of the ring is tremendous, of course. Hook asks for more and Taz is concerned, and indeed Joe powerbombs Hook on the apron to punish him further. I mean…he did ask for it. But Hook beats the count at 9, so Joe powerslams him for two. Death valley driver gets two. Hook won’t stay down, so Joe hits the Muscle Buster, but it only gets one. So Hook comes back and throws clotheslines and the crowd goes nuts. Hook with the T-Bone and he goes for the choke, but Joe reverses to his own choke and Hook is out at 8:32. Tremendous effort from Hook but I don’t think it’s going to rocket him further up the card or anything. Really he needs regular work on a weekly basis more than anything. ***1/2. But then Hook wants more, so Joe heads back in and gives him another Muscle Buster for his troubles. But Hook won’t stay down, and this time Hangman Page makes the save and we get a staredown with Swerve and everyone just kind of wanders off to end the show.

I thought it was a pleasant, mostly throwaway show with an enthusiastic crowd and a bunch of decent matches sandwiched between two really good ones.