The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 01.10.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 01.10.24

Live from Daily’s Place in Jacksonville, FL

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Taz

Hangman Page v. Claudio Castagnoli

Page, who is apparently “Habitually late for work”, attacks at the bell and they slug it out. They take it to the floor and Claudio runs him into the railing for a running forearm, but Hangman beats on him with forearms of his own before they head back into the ring. Claudio with a snap suplex and a double stomp for two. Claudio stomps him down in the corner, but they exchange more forearms and Claudio takes him down for the Giant Swing into the Sharpshooter. Hangman counters him into a rollup for two, and rolls into a death valley driver as both guys are down. Hangman survives the forearms and gets a backslide for two and follows with the fallaway slam and then puts Claudio on the floor for a dive. Page stops for a refreshing beer with the fans, but Claudio catches him with a press slam in the ring and dumps him right onto the ramp as we take a break. Back with Page making a comeback, but Claudio cuts off the buckshot and they fight up the ramp and slug it out by the entrance. Hangman with a running clothesline from the top of the ramp to put Claudio back into the ring, but another buckshot attempt is countered with the Swiss Death forearm for two. Gotta say, I think Hangman was going for something way bigger with the running clothesline and didn’t get whatever setup he needed. Page gets fired up and they slug it out until Page clotheslines him to the floor and tries the moonsault. But Claudio catches him with ease and runs him into the wall. So Hangman DDTs him and climbs the wall, hitting the moonsault on his second try. Back in, Hangman reverses a tombstone attempt and hits his own for two. Deadeye is reversed and Claudio flips him into the top turnbuckle and beats him down with forearms, and a short arm lariat gets two. Claudio with the elbows, but Page reverses him into the Deadeye for two. Claudio counters a springboard attempt with another forearm and they fight on the top, with Hangman reversing a powerbomb into a rana. He follows with the Buckshot lariat, but Claudio pops up with fighting spirit, so Page heads right over to the other side and hits a second lariat, and that’s enough to finish at 17:15. Holy shit what a great match. ****1/4. They were just hammering each other and it was awesome.

Meanwhile, we take a look back at Mr. Brodie Lee.

Orange Cassidy, Dustin Rhodes, Adam Copeland & Preston Vance v. Brian Cage, the Gates of Agony & Lance Archer

They’re acknowledging that Preston is still a bad guy, but he’s teaming with the babyfaces in honor of Brodie. Toa brings Preston to the corner and the heels work him over for a bit, but he fights back with a pump kick on Cage and it’s over to Copeland, who seems to be having the time of his life with the Jacksonville crowd. Orange comes in and tries to chokeslam Cage, but amazingly that doesn’t work. The Gates decide to double-team Orange and prevent Archer from tagging in, and Orange bumps to the floor as we take a break. Back with Archer beating on Orange in the corner and he follows with the high knee and some running elbows. This prompts a fight between Jake Roberts and Jose the Assistant and that goes about how you’d expect. So Orange goes nuclear with the kicks on Archer before hitting him with the DDT, and it’s hot tag Vance. He hits Kaun with a spinebuster and a cutter for two, but Toa saves. It’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA and everyone throws the big bombs, including Orange finally hitting that chokeslam. So this leads to Toa and Archer double-teaming Vance, but that goes sideways on them and the heels all end up fighting each other. So Copeland spears Cage out of the ring and Vance finishes Kaun with the discus lariat at 10:35. A very very fun match with non-stop action. ***1/2

Meanwhile, Bullet Club Gold meet up with the Acclaimed again and Bowens keeps pushing for a united front against the Undisputed Kingdom. BANG BANG SCISSOR GANG. Billy Gunn will be waiting by his fax machine for their answer, apparently. Huge if true.

Samoa Joe joins us with the new AEW title belt, and the fans actually chant “Thank you Joe”. So now there’s changes to the championship protocol, as no longer will going on social media and “making ho-ass comments” earn you a shot. You just have to win matches and then come out and get stomped in front of your fans and loved ones. Fair enough. So this brings out Swerve Strickland, and he looks like the biggest star in the world. He just wants the AEW title and it’s not personal. But Hangman Page interrupts and he does want to make it personal, so there’s that. And he also wants the title. I’m sensing a three-way at Revolution. But then after they leave, someone SENDS FOR HOOK and he comes out for his own challenge to Joe as a petty Twitter war ends up booking a World title match for next week.

Meanwhile, Toni Storm is looking for AEW’s newest signing…Wendi Richter. Unfortunately she was unable to watch Mariah May’s debut last week, although she was sent a screener copy and hasn’t seen it as of yet.

Ricky Starks v. Sammy Guevara

Starks hits him with a shoulderblock and mocks the whole tongue gimmick. So Sammy sends him to the floor and follows with the moonsault off the post. Back in the ring, they slug it out on the apron and Ricky tries the finisher out there, but Sammy chops him back in, and Ricky regroups and hits another Rochambeau on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING, as we take a break. Back with Sammy making a comeback and he goes up with a moonsault, but he lands facefirst on Ricky’s feet. Starks with a powerbomb for two off that. Starks misses a charge and Sammy tries the GTH, but Starks cradles for two. Sammy with a superkick for the pin at 9:30 in kind of a flat finish to a match that was already kind of a style clash. **1/2. And then they share a moment of peace before Big Bill runs in and attacks, until Chris Jericho saves for a wild brawl into the crowd while “Judas” plays to drown out any potential booing.

Willow Nightingale, Kris Statlander, Anna Jay & Thunder Rosa v. Skye Blue, Julia Hart, Saraya & Ruby Soho

The babyfaces take turns hitting Ruby with moves to start, but she fights Rosa off, and brings Julia in for some double-teams in the heel corner. Rosa comes back and brings in Willow, but she goes up and Harley Cameron trips her up as we take a break. Back with Statlander getting the hot tag and cleaning house with the slam on Saraya for two. This sets up the wacky quadruple suplex from the babyfaces, which is the kind of stuff that always gets over. Willow with the pounce on Skye and everyone brawls until we’re left with Anna Jay and Julia Hart. But then Skye comes in and Anna chokes her out for the win at 9:12. Obviously we know why Anna got the win here but she has long been passed by and looks completely out of place now. Match was fun but nothing special. **1/2

Meanwhile, Wheeler Yuta is a grown ass man and he makes the challenge to Eddie Kingston for Rampage.

Roderick Strong v. Bryan Keith

Apparently all the wackiness is gone now, which is too bad because it’s what got him and the Kingdom over in the first place. Also I’m intrigued by Bryan Keith every time I see him, although I have to stress for everyone who keeps emailing me, we are not related. They exchange chops and head to the apron, where Roddy hits him with a backbreaker on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. Back in the ring, Roddy stomps him down in the corner, but Keith comes back and wins a slugfest until Roddy hits him with an Angle Slam for two. They fight to the top and Keith hits a Diamond Dust Press and a sunset flip for two. But then Strong hits him with a high knee and End of Heartache to finish at 4:20. Hopefully they sign Keith and do something with him in ROH. **1/2. And then Adam Cole does a promo on behalf of the Undisputed Kingdom and I dunno about this. I just don’t know how well they’re working as monster heels.

Meanwhile, Deonna Purrazzo is interrupted by Red Velvet in advance of Collision. “Is that your stirring arm? Good to know.” Well that’s probably not good for Velvet.

Texas Tornado: Sting & Darby Allin v. Konosuke Takeshita & Powerhouse Hobbs

And they go brawling immediately into the crowd, as Sting puts Hobbs onto a case and runs him into some garbage bins. Back at ringside, Takeshita beats on Darby with chops, but he fights back with a coffin drop that Takeshita catches. And he hits Darby with a german suplex on the floor as we take a break. Back with Team Callis double-teaming Darby and tossing him into the corner, but Sting makes a comeback and hits Hobbs with a Stinger splash. But then he runs into a big boot from Takeshita to cut off that comeback. So Flair decides to save and throws some very sad chops on Hobbs before Sting thankfully takes over for himself again. Sting takes Hobbs to the ramp and they all brawl up to the entrance, where Takeshita runs Darby into the railing. But then Darby climbs up to the top of the bleachers and hits Takeshita with a coffin drop. And then Sting takes Hobbs along the wall, hits a Scorpion Deathdrop through a pair of tables, and gets the pin at 10:15. Well this was every bit the trainwreck promised. ***1/2. And then after the match, Tony interviews the babyfaces, looking for Sting’s final opponent. And that brings out the Young Bucks, who have gone full clean cut douchebag heel now. Kind of like the drug dealer villains in a Steven Seagal movie from the 90s where he’s a cop that doesn’t play by the rules, unless the rules are the rules of karate. Anyway no chance that match doesn’t rule so I’m OK with that choice. Plus you have to respect the moustache game. PENCIL THIN.

Well this show ruled and delivered everything I wanted out of it. Carry on, AEW. Carry on.