The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 01.08.25

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 01.08.25

Well one week in and they’ve already dropped the Pointer Sisters opening. That didn’t take long.

Live from Clarksville, TN

Your hosts are Excalibur, Ian Riccaboni & Daddy Magic

Will Ospreay v. Buddy Matthews

They trade takedowns to start and counter each other to battle to a stalemate. Buddy beats on him with chops and Will bails to the floor, so Buddy dropkicks him and Ospreay fires back with a dive. Back in the ring, Buddy goes to a chinlock, but Will fights out of that and they collide for a double-down. Ospreay up first with a springboard forearm for two, but Buddy goes up and escapes the Cheeky Nandos, hitting Will with a knee strike and backbreaker to put him on the floor. Buddy with a dive into the announce table, and back in with a flying double knees for two. They fight to the apron and Will tries the cutter out there, but Buddy tosses him into the table and hits him with a running boot into the railing. But he charges a second time and Will hits him with a superkick and Ozcutter off the railing. Back in the ring, Ospreay catches him with another cutter off a dropkick, and that gets two. Hidden Blade misses, so Will hits him with a knee strike for two. Buddy fires back with kicks and stomps the toes (!) but Will tries another cutter, so Buddy catches him with a GTS and curb stomp for two. Will spins him into the Styles Clash, and that gets two. Hidden Blade finishes at 12:40, as Buddy just smiles and takes it. Took a bit for them to find their groove but the last few minutes were awesome. ***3/4. Afterwards, Ospreay puts Buddy over as a great challenge for him and tells him he doesn’t need to follow Malakai Black, and then they shake hands and I guess that might be a babyface turn for Buddy?

Meanwhile, in Japan, stuff goes down on Wrestle Dynasty, which WBD apparently would not let AEW advertise at all. I still gotta watch that Omega match.

Private Party joins us for a private celebration after their tag title win on Collision. But the Hurt Syndicate crashes the party, teases drinking with them, and then declares that they want the tag titles. Well they certainly need something to do right now.

Bobby Lashley v. Mark Briscoe

Mark throws chops to start, but Bobby nails him with a flatliner and a snap suplex. Neckbreaker out of the corner and Yakasoba cutter follow, for two. Briscoe fights back with KUNG FU, but Lashley just tosses him across the ring and out to the floor for more abuse and more suplexes. We take a break and return with Bobby beating on him in the ring, and a back elbow puts him on the floor. But Mark outsmarts him, hiding under the ring and then hitting him with a chair before diving off it to the floor. MVP is great on commentary, yelling about Mark cheating and “using an international object” while Briscoe comes back with a moonsault off the post and back in for a sliding lariat. Froggy Bow gets one. Briscoe misses a charge and Bobby spears him, however, and puts him away with the Hurt Lock at 8:40. A good squash with Mark getting hope spots to make it interesting. ** And then the pair of black guys beat down the toothless redneck, which is the opposite of what usually happens in Tennessee. But luckily Private Party makes the save.

Casino Gauntlet match:

Jay White is #1, and Hangman Page is #2. They beat on each other with chops and Page knocks him down for one. Jay rolls him up for two and we get a finisher counter exchange, and Jay gets a superplex for a double down. Wheeler Yuta is #3 at 2:30, but Jay immediately hits him with a Blade Runner for two before Hangman saves. Page with the fallaway slam on White and they fight to the apron, where Page takes out both guys with the springboard clotheslines. Swerve Strickland is teased at #4, but NOPE, it’s actually Ricochet in an epic troll job at 5:00. Ricochet runs wild with dives and moonsaults Hangman for two as we take a break. Back with Wheeler out on the floor like he’s been all match, and Adam Cole is #5 at 9:51. Cole superkicks everyone and hits Ricochet with the Panama Sunrise for two, but Daniel Garcia is #6 at 11:30. He hits Cole with a neckbreaker and stacks up three guys in the corner for a pummeling, Yuta and Garcia trade chops, but Ricochet takes out Garcia from behind and they toss him. Powerhouse Hobbs is #7 at 13:44 and he throws guys around like sacks of garbage, as the kids say, and we take another break. Back with Hobbs smashing Ricochet, but he misses a charge and White sends him into the corner as Roderick Strong is #8 at 18:25. He runs wild and teams up with Cole to beat on Ricochet, but Hobbs saves and lays everyone out. Everyone throws big moves, but Yuta goes low on Jay White to cut him off. Lance Archer is #9 at 21:04 and lots of people get chokeslammed, setting up the Meat Battle with Hobbs. They slam each other and no-sell it, and Kyle O’Reilly is #10 at 23:07, and he teams up with the Undisputed crew. But then Jeff Jarrett is #11 at 24:30, and Yuta attacks him in the aisle and takes him to the back to keep him from winning. Meanwhile Archer tries the Blackout on Hobbs, but he escapes it, and Kyle beats on Hobbs with kicks until Hobbs puts him down with a spinebuster and pins him at 26:08 to win the title shot. Well hopefully that one goes better for him than the last one! Not as great as the first couple of them, but then there was no Will Ospreay in these ones. ***1/2

Jeff Jarrett joins Ian in the ring after his failed attempt, and he’s wondering if he’s still got it. So this brings out MJF, as they share a ring for the first time. Max doesn’t think much of the other guys, and then remembered that his dad was a big fan of Jeff Jarrett when he was a little kid. Max reveals that Jeff’s last contract is only for one year, and offers to help Jeff win the title in exchange for the first title shot. JJ notes that MJF is a one hit wonder and he’s going to win the title himself. Jarrett is a hell of a babyface but I wish they’d done more with him in Tennessee.

COPE joins us to recap all the times that he’s suffered horrific injuries and got up to keep fighting, which means that Moxley isn’t going to be able to keep him down. So the Death Riders come out to answer, but FTR saves and everyone brawls until Pac lays out COPE with the briefcase. Moxley tries to choke COPE to death, but Hobbs makes the save. Kind of disproves COPE’s point about surviving everything.

Meanwhile, Mariah May grants Harley Cameron a non-title match on Collision, for some HOT GIRL GRAPS, where she will presumably FEEL THE WRATH of Harley. Or rip Harley’s head off, whatever. These two are predictably delightful together, probably because they’re real life BFFs.

Willow Nightingale v. Kris Statlander v. Toni Storm

Winner gets #1 in the gauntlet next week. Toni puts Kris on the floor, but Willows hits her with a spinebuster and then rolls up Statlander for two. Toni takes them both out and we get a very wacky spot with Stat posing above Toni, so Willow catapults Toni headfirst into Statlander’s crotch. Well isn’t that special. We take a break and everyone slugs it out for a triple down, but Kris is up first and then Willow pounces her into the corner. Cannonball on both women and a death valley driver on Toni gets two. They all throw bombs and Willow gets a double german suplex on the other two and cradles Toni for two. And then Kris hits Toni with the piledriver to finish at 9:53 in a finish that absolutely killed the crowd. I have no idea why you would possibly beat Toni at this point. **3/4. But then they actually play into that afterwards, as a dejected Toni talks with Renee and admits that she’s just not ready yet. We’ll let it play out and see where it goes but this felt like a major misstep.

Kenny Omega joins us with new sinister music, talking about diverticulitis and nearly dying in the hospital as a result. But before he can finish his story, the Callis Family hits the ring and goes after the gut, until Will Ospreay makes the save, leading to a staredown with Kenny to end the show. Well that ended up being a lot of nothing, unfortunately.

An OK show this week with a good crowd, but it was more about setting stuff up than paying anything off and didn’t really feel like anything special. Especially in the week with the Rock running around on WWE shows and everyone watching the Netflix debut.