The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 11.09.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 11.09.24

Haven’t watched this show in a while but the buzz from last week’s episode was really good so back to it.

Nearing 1000 follows on Bluesky, by the way. Jump into the action of actual positive wrestling discussion and not toxic ratings discourse over at rspwfaq.bsky.social. And now Hangman Page is there sharing garden photos, too!

Taped from Providence, RI

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Nigel McGuiness

The House of Black v. The Iron Savages & Jacked Jameson

Boulder decides to test Brody King and pays for that in hilarious fashion, and Brody puts him down with a lariat despite Boulder sippin’ some sauce to bulk up. The House triple-teams him in the corner, and then Buddy beats on Jameson with kicks before the Savages get caught in a comprising position and chased to the floor. Back in, Jameson gets destroyed in the corner and Brody cannonballs him for the pin at 3:30. Just a fun squash to start. This brings out FTR to talk some business before next week’s Dynamite, as they want to know which members they’ll be facing, and apparently the answer is Brody and Malakai.

Meanwhile, Lio Rush still has MVP’s business card, and he admits that he has to make a decision about it. So he wants Swerve on Dynamite next week.

Top Flight v. The OUTRUNNERS

Winner of this goes to Full Gear in a four way with Private Party and you know who I’m cheering for. Truth offers some nice clean scientific wrestling to Darius and gets hit with a shoulderblock, so he unleashes his own guns and puts Darius down. Shocked Darius didn’t get slammed through the mat from that one. Over to Turbo, who slams Dante and drops an elbow on him, but Dante gets a sunset flip for two. Dante with a shoulderblock of his own, but he likely dislocates his arm from the force of concrete sex appeal that is Turbo’s bicep, and it’s a stalemate. Dante rolls up Turbo for two, but Turbo gets a backslide for two, and then Dante reverses a slam into a cradle for two. Nigel claims that Tubo started in 1981. HOW DARE YOU. More like 2021! Top Flight double-teams Truth in the corner and Dante gets two, and then Darius hits a snap suplex into a slingshot senton from Dante that gets two. Truth fights back on Darius while Nigel continues slandering the Youngest Men Alive, but Top Flight tosses Truth and Darius nearly hits Leila Grey on a dive, prompting some brotherly arguments. This allows Turbo to get the HOT TAG and he hits them both with FULL BODY LIFTS AND SLAMS and then slams his own on partner on Darius! STOP THE MATCH, THE MAN HAS A FAMILY! This sets up the MEGAPOWER ELBOW on Dante, but he somehow kicks out and brings Darius in for some double-teams on Turbo that get two. Truth breaks up a double suplex attempt and takes out Darius, and Turbo is HULKING UP, but he misses a charge. Darius tries a springboard, but the Outrunners recover with TOTAL RECALL and they get the pin and advance to the title match at 10:23! YEAH! GET THAT PPV BAG, BOYS! This gets a solid FIVE FANNY PACKS OUT OF FIVE.

Roderick Strong v. The Beast Mortos

Roddy tries to talk shit to the Beast, but that goes badly for him as Mortos beats him into the corner and then follows with a powerslam for one. Mortos is all conflicted and that allows Strong to hit him with the Angle Slam for two. Mortos goes back to beating on him in the corner and hits him with a samoan drop before choking him out in the corner. Mortos with a pair of backbreakers for two and he goes to a surfboard. Triller takes a break and we return with Roddy making the comeback with the Sick Kick for two. Mortos hits him with another pair of backbreakers and the powerbomb on the knee, which sets up a lariat for two. But Roddy hits one last jumping knee for the pin at 10:00. ***1/4. Afterwards, the Murder Machines hit the ring and destroy Roddy on behalf of MJF, which would assumedly set up the last match for Strong next week.

Meanwhile, Mariah May is tired of hot girl graps now and kind of hates everyone because she’s destroyed all her competition and there’s no one left to challenge her.

Meanwhile, Anna Jay is going to choke Mariah out until she pisses herself. Well that’s a very specific threat. But if she doesn’t win the belt this time, she’ll never challenge for the title again.

Kris Statlander v. Ashley Vox

Vox tries to go to the top rope and gets smashed by Statlander immediately and tombstoned for the pin at 0:30. But then Mercedes hits the ring with a backstabber and the Bank Statement to set up the title match at Full Gear.

Meanwhile, Rush is pretty disappointed in Mortos after that match and demands to see better from him next week.

TNT title: Jack Perry v. Action Andretti

They trade takedowns to start and Perry clips the knee and sends him into the post early on. Out to the apron for a back suplex there, which I might remind you is THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING, and then a back suplex onto the stairs, which are even harder but not technically part of the ring. Back in the ring, Jack spits his gum into the crowd and Nigel is pretty sure you can get $200 on Ebay for that if you were lucky enough to catch it. Jack goes to a chinlock and then chokes him out in the corner while getting into a shouting match with Peter Griffin at ringside, which allows Andretti to roll him up for two. He comes back with a handspring elbow and Falcon Arrow for two. Narrator: He had not, in fact, done the deal. Back to the apron and Perry tries another suplex out there, but Andretti fights him off and hits his own death valley driver to make the comeback. Back in the ring, Action with a 450 for two. Spanish Fly gets two. Perry rolls him up for two and superkicks him to set up a buckle bomb, and a brainbuster gets two. Running knee misses and Andretti rolls him up for two and follows with a springboard enzuigiri, but he misses the shooting star press and Perry finishes with a pair of running knees at 9:30 to retain. With the Bucks gone, Perry is kind of left in the cold and I don’t know that a feud with Daniel Garcia is gonna heat him up again. He had a really good match here, though. ***1/4. Speaking of which, Garcia interrupts and accuses Jack of being a “multimillionaire nepo baby who drives around in a school bus” because he’s a poser. Perry is pretty sure that Garcia isn’t ready to be champion, though.

Meanwhile, Julia Hart is torn between cheerleading and dark necromancing. Age old story there.

Meanwhile, the Outrunners shill their fanny packs on ShopAEW. If they don’t sell Zubaz pants to go with those, WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE?!?

Meanwhile, Daddy Magic wants Daniel Garcia to prove Jack Perry wrong and win the title.

Nick Wayne v. AR Fox

Fox hits him with a dive before the bell, just because Nick brought up Fox’s dead father, and beats on Nick on the floor, trading shots and then running Nick into the railing for a big boot. He tries a dive off the railing and Wayne crotches him as Triller takes a break. Back with Fox making a comeback and hitting him with a swanton bomb for two. Fox loses the doo rag, which was the source of his powers, and that allows Nick to hit a dragon suplex for two. Kip Sabian turning into 1997 Al Snow before our eyes is quite the deal. Fox comes back with a crazy sequence where he hits a moonsault into a cutter and then right into a powerbomb for two. Wayne goes up and Fox brings him down with a Spanish Fly, but he misses a 450 thanks to Sabian and Nick gets another dragon suplex and finishes with a double underhook destroyer at 8:57. Well that was quite the finisher. Nigel gets the reference of the night as he calls Christian a “modern day Dr. Bernardo” and then tells Tony to look that one up. Luckily he was referring to an Irish philanthropist from the 1800s, and not…you know…the serial killer, who wasn’t a doctor but shares the last name. ***1/2. Anyway, we then get Wayne taking things a bit too far again, producing a picture of Fox and his father and then stapling it to AR’s head before triumphantly putting the staple gun back in his pants while his mother approvingly looks on with pride. Things you only see while watching pro wrestling.

Meanwhile, MXM Collection await an answer from Johnny TV (“three dots…”) and apparently Mason has a nice hog. As in a pet pig. They’re very fun in this role but I don’t know that this is the right promotion for them.

AEW World Trios title: The Death Riders v. Kyle O’Reilly, Tomohiro Ishii & Mark Briscoe

The Conglomeration beats on Wheeler in the corner to start and Yuta tries to fight back on Ishii while O’Reilly makes cringe faces on the apron. Briscoe comes in with a suplex for one, but he gets caught in the heel corner and beaten down. He fights back with REDNECK KUNG FU and everyone piles up on the floor, allowing Mark to hit them all with a dive. Back in the ring, Yuta takes more of a beating from the babyfaces, but Kyle gets caught in the heel corner and they work him over. Claudio hits him with forearms and headbutts him down into a snapmare for two. Pac cuts off a tag with a pump kick and Claudio slams him for two. The Riders triple-team Kyle in the corner with running forearms, and Pac hits a tombstone for two. Yuta with a snap suplex for two, but he gets cocky and Kyle rolls him into an anklelock. Yuta reverses that into a rollup for two, but they clothesline each other and it’s hot tag Ishii. He hits Pac with a DDT after beating on everyone with forearms, and then Briscoe comes in for more Kung Fu action and an exploder on Pac. Fisherman’s Buster on Claudio gets two. Claudio escapes the Jay Driller, so Kyle comes back in and the babyfaces destroy poor Yuta to set up the Froggy Bow for two. Everyone trades bombs as it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA and everyone is out. This brings out Jon Moxley, but Orange Cassidy also comes out to make him stand down, and Kyle rolls up Yuta for two and anklelocks him. Pac and Claudio try to break it up, but get taken out, so Marina takes things into her own hands and knocks Kyle out with the briefcase, allowing Yuta to finish with the bu saiku knee and retain the title at 19:00. ***1/2. Afterwards, we get the brawl between the Conglomeration and the Death Riders, allowing Orange to stand tall for once and clear the ring after taking out Yuta. Yay for babyfaces!

I was of course in an unprecedented shitty mood on Wednesday night, but even so I liked this show a lot more than Dynamite and it was just some tremendously fun pro wrestling action on a Saturday night.