The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 06.21.25

The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 06.21.25

I can definitely use some light entertainment tonight. I feel like I’m living in a nice apartment with a downstairs neighbor who is constantly getting into noisy fights with his girlfriends and drunk 24/7.

Live from Seattle, WA

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Nigel McGuinness

Jon Moxleyv. AR Fox

IT’S TIME FOR FOX AND MOX! Non-title match, which is a surprise since Fox generally jobs in title matches, not non-title matches. Fox dodges and ducks Mox and hits an enzuigiri, but Moxley clobbers him and hits him with a drop suplex to put him down before taking it to the floor for a brawl. Back in, Fox hits a draping DDT and puts Mox on the apron for a double stomp, but Yuta takes the ref and Moxley cuts off Fox’s comeback on the top rope with some well time biting and gouging and scraping. Back in with a superplex for two and Mox wraps him up in a submission, but AR makes the ropes. Moxley puts the boots to him, but Fox fights back with his own kicks and he puts Moxley on the floor and follows with a dive. Back in with more kicks and a cutter, and a rolling cutter, but Moxley nails him with a lariat to put him down again. Gotch piledriver from Moxley and Mox box Fox, then Mox locks Fox in a choke, and stops the clocks at 5:47. I was gonna do a whole Dr. Suess run but really he squashed AR pretty fast and there wasn’t time. *1/2

Afterwards, Moxley declares that he has no time for crybabies and he’s going run Hangman back to his farm to “count chickens or whatever it is he does”.

Let us take you back to Arena Mexico this week!

Konosuke Takeshita, Kyle Fletcher & FTR v. Adam Cole, Roderick Strong, Daniel Garcia & Bandido

Takeishita beats on Strong with chops in the corner and Fletcher comes in and walks into a kick from Roddy. Garcia trades chops with Kyle and puts him down with a clothesline before slugging away in the corner, but he goes after Takeshita and gets caught from behind as a result. Dax with a snap suplex and he drops a leg for two and goes to a chinlock. Over to Bandido and he hits Fletcher with a crazy DDT and dumps FTR to set up a dive, but gets caught and slammed onto the announce table as we take a break. Back with Adam Cole making a comeback on Kyle Fletcher with an enzuigiri and backstabber for two. Strong with an Angle slam on Dax and Cole with the Boom for two. But then FTR regroups with the Powerplex on Strong, but Bandido comes in with a frog splash on Cash while he’s selling, and everyone hits the big moves as it’s BONZO GONZO and everyone is out. Everyone slugs it out and FTR tries for the Shatter Machine but that’s broken up, and Strong runs them into each other. But then Fletcher superkicks Roddy and a second Shatter Machine finishes at 12:00. Not quite a PARTY MATCH but still pretty fun. *** Heel beatdown follows, but THE OUTRUNNERS return and make the save, looking more jacked than ever, although FTR is confused because they were under the impression that they were all still friends.

Meanwhile, we hear from the ladies in the 8-man tag, as Athena returns to AEW TV and might even make some more minions tonight if all goes well.

Meanwhile, Mercedes and her six belts will see Toni Storm in Texas.

Swerve Strickland v. Shane Taylor

Swerve puts him on the floor right away, but then just teases a dive and dances instead. Back in the ring, they slug it out while Taylor’s geeks are running a gambling ring of some kind, even convincing Tony to leave the desk and throw some money down, hopefully on Swerve, as we take a break. Back with Taylor missing a splash as Swerve comes back with a running knee for two. Taylor catches him to block a rolling flatliner and slams him out of that, but Swerve takes him down with an armbar. Taylor escapes that with a knee strike for two. Shane goes up and Swerve brings him down with an impressive Angle Slam off the top, putting Taylor on the apron. Swerve kicks him out there to set up a Swerve Stomp on the HARDEST PART OF THE RING, and then into a dive onto the geeks before the House Call kick finishes at 9:12. Basically an extended squash. **

Timeless Toni Storm joins us, still in her 1940s detective noir phase. Mercedes is still in Mexico with her new belt, and Toni clarifies that she is “not just some other motherfucker” and not just another belt to be collected. In fact, she’s a consistently sweating, bottom heavy transatlantic whore, so Mone is gonna have to beat her and then kill her to stop her. Now that’s a much better promo to build the match.

Hologram, Mark Briscoe & Willow Nightingale v. MXM Collection & Taya Valkyrie

Glad to see Taya back to a more normal weight again after getting so thin last year. Hologram puts Madden on the floor and it’s over to “The Ironed Sheik” as Nigel calls him, which got a chuckle out of me. Madden gets a powerbomb on Hologram on the floor as we take a break. Back with Briscoe getting a hot tag and cleaning house on MXM before dropkicking Madden into the railing. Mansoor catches him with a springboard dropkick, but Hologram gets a Spanish Fly. Taya takes him down with a rana, but Willow hits her with a spinebuster and then Hologram finishes Mansoor with the Portal Bomb into a froggy bow at 8:00. Just a silly little filler match. **

Meanwhile, a bitter Kris Statlander takes out her issues on Wheeler Yuta, but Jon Moxley isn’t about to let his property get abused like that.

Don Callis joins us with his newest member, Kazuchika Okada, relishing in “the smell of diverticulitis coming out of his guts” after the attack on Dynamite two weeks ago. And Kenny has no friends left and he’s totally alone, you see, but Mark Briscoe interrupts to clarify that Kenny has at least one friend left. Himself, and KOTA IBUSHI. Now that’s an interesting twist. So Ibushi slugs Josh Alexander out of the ring and we get a showdown with Okada as Kota gets hit in his BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL FACE but chases Okada to the floor to win the battle.

Back from the break, and the Workhorsemen are brawling with Big Bill & Bryan Keith at ringside, and it’s pretty much a massacre for the Learning Tree. But that brings out The Patriarchy, and Christian is annoyed because he has a huge announcement to make and they’re eating into his airtime. So Christian and Nick Wayne want the AEW tag team titles as the first father and son duo to ever win them, although Big Bill points out that Nick Wayne’s dad could be anyone because Mother Wayne is kind of a slut.

Meanwhile, Anthony Bowens confronts Billy Gunn and tells him that they need to get better in a hurry so they don’t end up being Max Caster. I dunno, Max got that catchphrase over, I’d say he’s winning the competition so far.

Mike Speedball Bailey & Kevin Knight v. The Gates of Agony

Rick O’Shea joins us on commentary and clarifies that Lio Rush is far too annoying to ever join his crew. Toa beats on Bailey in the corner to start, but Knight comes in and cleans house. His rolling splash hits knees and they head to the floor, as Bailey tries a dive on Toa and gets clobbered on the way down. We take a break and return with Bailey hitting a missile dropkick, but missing the shooting star on Kaun. Kaun goes up and Knight brings him down with a rana, into a Bailey powerbomb that was a cool idea in theory but missed by a lot in practice. Still, I like the thought. Toa saves and lays out Knight with a samoan drop, and they dump Speedball, but Knight reverses Open the Gates into a double DDT and we get a stereo dive on the floor. Back in the ring, Kaun hits Speedball with a lungblower for two, but Speedball gets the spinkick and Knight finishes with the frog splash at 9:29. Kind of sloppy, but OK. **1/2

Athena, Thekla, Megan Bayne & Penelope Ford v. Tay Melo, Anna Jay, Thunder Rosa & Queen Aminata

Aminata takes Ford down and uses her own take on the Devil’s Kiss, and everyone quickly brawls to the apron as we get a really sloppy fight and everyone awkwardly piles up for a pair of dives from Ford and Aminata where they were basically yelling instructions to each other, and we take a break. Back with Thekla hitting Aminata with kicks in the ring and the Tarantula in the corner, but Aminata headbutts her for two. Melo with the DDTay on Ford for two and TayJay double-teams Bayne, but Megan suplexes them both and then gets dropkicked to the floor. This gives us Rosa v. Athena and they trade chops until Athena puts her down with an enzuigiri. Rosa with a neckbreaker and John Woo dropkick on the ropes for two. Anna escapes Bayne’s F5 with a DDT, but then Thekla freaks her out with the spiderwalk and Athena piledrives Aminata. Rosa with a death valley driver on Athena, but Red Velvet appears and gives Athena the ROH belt for the pin at 10:43. Really weird to end this AEW show with an ROH angle that basically means nothing to anyone not watching that show. But it gets Athena back on AEW TV, so that’s fine. Match was really sloppy and didn’t really go anywhere. *1/2. I haven’t really been super impressed with Thekla so far despite all the buildup. Megan Bayne continues to look more impressive despite losing all the time, I think.

This was definitely a show that never left second gear after a super-hot Dynamite in Mexico, but was still a pretty fun and relaxing two hours of wrestling tonight.