The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 05.09.26

The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 05.09.26

Originally written 05.12.26

Figured I should catch up with the Darby Allin Show before Dynamite tonight.

“FAIRWAY TO HELL”

Live from Palm Beach, FL, with a batshit crazy setup for the arena, complete with fans standing around the ring and a putting green on the field. Seriously this is incredible and like something out of a wrestling video game in the 90s.

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Nigel McGuinness

AEW National title: Jungle Jack Perry v. Mark Davis

Don Callis joins us on commentary and claims to have played 42 holes of golf while the arena was being set up. Perry slugs away in the corner to start and dodges a charging Davis, putting him on the floor for a moonsault. Jack tries a swinging kick around the post, but Davis catches him and drops him on the floor for a clothesline to put him down. Back in the ring, Perry tries to fight back with chops and gets nowhere, allowing Davis to toss him out of the corner with a biel. Perry fights back again, so Davis runs him off the apron and into the railing as we take a break. Back with Perry fighting back again with running forearms, which finally puts Dunkzilla down to his knees, but Davis takes him to the top, so Perry brings him down with a sunset flip for two. They fight to the apron and Perry escapes a suplex out there and takes Davis to the floor with a rana, and back in with a flying elbow for two. But then Davis lays him out with a lariat and a running elbow in the corner for two. He winds up for the big lariat, but Perry catches him in a rana for two and throws superkicks. But then Davis gets another lariat and snaps off the piledriver for two. Davis goes nuclear and powers him up to the middle rope for another piledriver, but Perry reverses to another rana to escape, prompting Don Callis to take the ref. This brings out Ricochet in full golf dress, who hits Perry with a club behind the ref’s back, and Davis piledrives Perry one last time for the pin and the title at 13:52. Holy hell they pulled the trigger on Dunkzilla! Good for him! I guess no one was watching this show because I literally hadn’t heard spoilers about that until now. A tremendous David v. Goliath opener. ***1/2

Meanwhile, Jack Perry is saddened by his loss, but he volunteers to join Team Jericho for Stadium Stampede, and offers to bring the Elite with him. Weirdly you can hear the director in the audio mix here.

Meanwhile, new champion Mark Davis joins Team Ricochet for Stadium Stampede, although he doesn’t even get to talk.

Lena Kross & Megan Bayne v. Ruthie Slay & Rachel Lay

This a five minute challenge, where the jobbers just have to last 5:00 to get a title shot. So they both attack Kross and get nowhere, as Lena slams Slay onto Lay. Over to Bayne, who tosses Rachel with a german suplex and Kross adds her own. Ruthie tags herself in and Bayne catches them both at the same time for a double fallaway slam, and a double chokeslam finishes Ruthie at 2:17. I guess the Brawling Birds are getting held off for All In so they’re just killing some time with the tag champs.

Meanwhile, Don Callis promises that the Family will get the AEW World title on Wednesday, although Okada had an emergency trip to Japan, so Takeshita is taking his spot in the Darby Allin match instead.

Speedball Mike Bailey v. Kiran Grey

Apparently the tag title match ran SO SHORT under the 5:00 time limit that we have a standby match. How about that. Speedball hits Grey with the kneedrop and sends him to the floor for a moonsault, and back in they fight to the top and Grey actually slugs him down. But Bailey fights him off and follows with the shooting star knees to finish at 1:45. Afterwards, Kevin Knight wants to make it clear that JetSpeed is going to the top together, forever. Uh oh.

AEW World title: Darby Allin v. Pac

Darby immediately walks over to the golf green in the background, and I’m glad someone did it finally. So they slug it out by the sand trap and Darby hits a Code Red into the sand, which has to suck for someone as wet as Pac always is. Over to the next sand trap, and Darby dropkicks him into that one as Pac takes a goofy bump into the sand, but he comes back with an overhead suplex into the sand for Darby. Pac with the Brutalizer out there but you can’t win in the sand, sadly, so Pac hits him with a press slam into the sand instead and we take a break. Back with them in the ring as Pac attaches Darby to the tag rope and beats him down in the corner. Darby comes back with a Scorpion Death drop for two, but Pac gets a top rope falcon arrow for two and take over again. Darby bails to the floor, so Pac puts him on a table and goes up with a shooting star to the floor, which misses. Back in the ring, Darby puts him in the Scorpion Deathlock, but Pac makes the ropes. So Pac summons the Death Riders and they bring a table for the aisle. I’ve heard Yuta takes forever to make his shots and won’t let anyone play through. He’s the worst. Pac hits Darby with a tombstone on the stairs while the Riders stack more tables on the pile, and we take another break. Back with them fight up in the balcony over the entrance, where Pac just tosses Darby through the giant pile of tables like he’s Tommy Dreamer. And Pac hauls him back to the ring, but it only gets two. Man, if only they had piled up a FIFTH table. Better to have it and not need it, ya know? So now Pac grabs the title belt while the Riders take the ref, but Darby fires up and kicks him in the nuts, and then finishes with the coffin drop at 20:00 to retain. I think this was actually the least of Darby’s crazy defenses thus far, built around the big silly spots and not much else. Still a lot of fun but not like a must-see great match or anything, aside from the unique setting. ***1/2. Honestly I’m just glad Darby didn’t get impaled on the flag or something.

A very fun hour of TV wrestling with a backdrop that you’re not gonna see anywhere else, which is well worth your time in checking out!