The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 03.16.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 03.16.24

Happy 3:16 Day to all who celebrate!

Live from Ottawa, ON

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Nigel McGuinness

Bryan Danielson v. Katsuyori Shibata

Well this is the whole reason I decided to watch tonight. First cerebral hemorrhage loses! They fight for the lockup to start while Nigel relates the time that Bryan Danielson faced him in a match where no head contact was allowed, and Nigel won. With a headbutt. They trade kicks and Bryan takes him down for a Romero Special and Nigel is already cracking Tony with his catty cheapshots at Danielson. “Hopefully he doesn’t fall down the stairs like Crystal Carrington”. They slug it out with forearms while Bryan tries to maintain control of the wrist, and he takes Shibata down and fights for an armbar. Shibata reverses to a bow and arrow and gets his own wrist control, and they just beat the hell out of each other with chops until “Cryin’ Bryan” takes him down with a shot to the knee and goes back to the arm. Shibata manages to suplex him onto the floor and follows with a PK from the apron. Back in, Shibata continues to go after the arm and sends him to the floor for another nasty kick to the arm from the apron, and a superkick sends Danielson into the railing, where Shibata follows with a running boot. Back in the ring and they trade more running boots and that goes badly for Danielson, and then Shibata just unloads on him with a hanging dropkick in the corner. Nigel: “Serious question, do you think Bryan Danielson is missing a chromosome?” This man is a menace. Shibata manages to take him down into an anklelock, but Bryan reverses to his own and they continue to trade until Danielson hits him with a german suplex to escape. But Shibata pops up and hits him with a discus elbow and it’s a double down. Shibata up first with a death valley driver for two. Shibata pounds him with the elbows, but Bryan flies out of the corner with the bu saiku knee for two. Lebell Lock follows, but Shibata manages to get into the ropes to break. Bryan with the Yes Kicks and Shibata is disgusted at how weak and gentle that Bryan kicks him. So they exchange running kicks and then sit down across from each other and slap the shit out of each other. Finally Bryan puts him down with a head kick to win that battle, but Shibata catches the knee and bitchslaps him to set up the Octopus. Bryan moves into the ropes to break and rolls him up for two, but Shibata cradles for two and they trade near-falls until Bryan spins him into the Lebell Lock, into another pair of reversals, and Bryan ends up on top with a crucifix for the pin at 19:40. Man we are just spoiled for great wrestling this week. ****

Meanwhile, Mercedes Mone debuts on Dynamite.

TBS title: Julia Hart v. Trish Adora

Loser is banned from ringside for the tag tournament match later tonight. Adora immediately bends Julia around on the mat for two. They fight to the floor and Julia runs her into the stairs and the railing. Back in the ring, Julia chokes her out on the ropes and they trade chops in the corner. Julia with a chinlock, but Adora makes the comeback with a shoulderbreaker for two. Trish reverses Hartless into a cradle for two, and a suplex ges two. Julia puts her down with a superkick and goes up with the moonsault for the pin at 7:42. Kind of a bore but it had moments. *1/2

Meanwhile, Zak Knight is happy to fight Cool Hand, but not in Canada. Harley isn’t really clear on how poutine works either.

Daniel Garcia v. Lee Moriarty

They trade takedowns and Daniel dances out of that while Nigel claims that Garcia will never be a champion. Well too late, he was ROH Pure champion for a long time. Garcia goes after Shane Taylor outside and Lee hits him with a dive to take over. Back in the ring, Tony claims that these are two of the youngest competitors in AEW, but that’s conveniently forgetting the youngest team in wrestling, THE OUTRUNNERS. Lee mocks the dance and takes him down with a belly to belly to set up some SMALL JOINT MANIPULATION. Garcia clips the knee and goes to work on that, and a back suplex gets two. Moriarty cradles for two, but Garcia tries the piledriver, so Moriarty rolls him into a double stomp. But then Daniel hooks him with a kneebar and taps him out at 5:19. **

Meanwhile, Darby Allin breaks his foot against Jay White, which probably saved his life by delaying his Everest climb.

Pac v. Aaron Solo

Been a minute since we’ve seen Solo around. Solo quickly chases Pac to the floor and hits him with a dive, and back in for two. Pac puts the boots to him while the crowd reminds him that he’s a bastard. Pac goes up with a missile dropkick and then finishes with the Black Arrow and Brutalizer at 3:32. Total squash. Afterwards, Pac reminds Tony Khan that he’s looking for TROUBLE, and Solo doesn’t really fit the bill.

Meanwhile, Bryan Danielson discusses gratitude, like how he’s grateful to get the chance to wrestle Shibata. And Will Ospreay might not be ready to die, but he’s also not willing to go to the depths that Bryan is.

Claudio Castagnoli v. Lance Archer

They trade shoulderblocks and Archer slams him, but Claudio fires back with his own slam and they trade forearms. Claudio clotheslines him to the floor to win that battle, but Lance lures him out to the floor and hits him with a cannonball off the apron. Archer chokes him out on the railing and they head back in for a chinlock. Archer tries for a DDT and Claudio reverses out to a suplex. Archer tries a ropewalk and Claudio yanks him down for two, prompting Archer to bail to the floor. Claudio chases him out with a running forearm into the railing, but Archer chokeslams him in the ring for two. Claudio with a death valley driver and he makes the comeback with forearms in the corner and a cutter out of the corner for two. Claudio with the Giant Swing, but the Righteous run in for the DQ at 11:14. Felt like kind of a long match for that weak finish. *** Bryan Danielson and Shibata make the save to prevent a beatdown.

Meanwhile, Angelo Parker wants to go find Zak Knight and get his fight tonight, but Ruby Soho does not think that Saturday night is all right for fighting and calls him off.

Kyle O’Reilly v. Bryan Keith

Keith with a headlock and Kyle throws him off, and they trade some forearms before Kyle fakes a knee and gives him a slap. Keith with an abdominal stretch and into a DDT for two. Keith tosses him and beats on him with kicks on the floor. Back in, he whips Kyle into the corner and goes to a chinlock. Kyle fights out of that and comes back with kicks and he SWEEPS THE LEG to set up a kneebar, but Keith makes the ropes. Kyle with a guillotine and he takes him down with a triangle, but Keith slips out, so Kyle boots him down and goes up, only for Keith to crotch him and bring him down. Keith with a nasty knee for two. Double underhook powerbomb gets two. Keith goes up and Kyle yanks him down by the arm, but Keith hits him with an enzuigiri to put him down again. Kyle is knocked a bit goofy, but comes back with a lariat and brainbuster for two. Armbar finishes at 11:30. Man they gave the Bounty Hunter a TON (sorry, we’re in Canada, I meant TONNE) of offense here. Turned into a really good match. ***1/4. Afterwards, the Kingdom hits the ring and celebrates with him to continue their dance. Nice little storyline with Kyle unsure of himself after returning and the Kingdom clearly ready to exploit him for everything he’s worth.

Meanwhile, Deonna and new friend Thunder Rosa are sick of Toni’s jokes and they’re going to stop them from happening on Dynamite.

AEW World tag team title tournament: The House of Black v. The Infantry

The House attack before the bell and destroy the Infantry on the floor, and back in for a cannonball on Bravo for two. King beats on him in the corner and Buddy comes in and beats on Bravo with kicks. Buddy boots Dean off the apron to prevent a tag, but Bravo comes back with a sunset flip and makes the tag on the second try. He tries to run wild but Brody King is in no mood and levels him with a clothesline. Bravo comes in to save and he gets thrashed, and Dante’s Inferno gets two as Bravo makes the save. King is amused by this show of defiance, but Bravo manages to fight them off from the apron until King drops him on the table and then follows with a piledriver. Back in the ring, Buddy hits Dean with the curb stomp and then picks him up at two to make a point, but Mark Briscoe runs out and hits Buddy with a chair, putting Dean on top to advance to the quarterfinals at 7:40. I’m not a big fan of the “complete squash with a banana peel finish” wins because it doesn’t really do anything to establish the underdog winner. Like here, where they got no offense and looked like complete jobbers for the entire match. *1/4

Adam Copeland joins us with his briefcase that seemingly contains Matt Hyson. But no, it turns out that it’s just a spiked baseball bat and not the corpse of Spike Dudley. I’d be more intimidated if Adam had snapped and killed his old friend and then carried him around in a briefcase to psyche out Christian.

Well this was definitely back to being the B-show again, seeming like an extended version of Dark more than anything. Still, the Bryan-Shibata match is well worth going out of your way to see, and everything else was pleasant and easy to watch. But yeah, you can 100% skip this show and not miss anything.