The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 02.07.26

The SmarK Rant for AEW Collision – 02.07.26

Last week’s episode had tons of comments, probably for obvious reasons, but I really did enjoy reviewing it, so with apologies to Niz for stealing his thunder, let’s check it out again this week while AEW is rolling. Don’t worry, I’ll get bored of it soon, I’m sure. Plus I guess I just get the USA Network now? I don’t pay a lot of attention to my cable package to be honest because mostly it’s just my other family members who want to watch stuff on TV, but the PVR has been recording this on a regular basis after months of never catching it, so I suppose that’s a good sign.

Also for those curious about the lives of famous wrestling reviewers, I was laid up on the couch with a sinus cold today so I decided to review the last five episodes of WWF Championship Wrestling in one shot since I wasn’t doing anything else with my day. So those are at least all in the can now.

Taped from Las Vegas, NV on 02.04.26

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Excalibur

The Young Bucks v. GOA

Winner of this advances to a three-way on Dynamite in an effort to find #1 contenders. Toa slams Matt and does some pushups to show off. I’ve really appreciated the personality transplants that GOA have acquired since stooging for Ricochet. The Bucks clear Toa out of the ring and double-team Kaun with a sliced bread, but they try a double dive and get caught and smashed together. Tony wisely puts over Liona’s strength while he’s standing there looking mean. Back in the ring, GOA puts Matt in a double nerve hold, but Nick breaks it up and takes them on alone, before the Bucks regroup with a double dropkick to clear the ring again. The dive fails again, with GOA smashing them into each other again, and perhaps they need a new gameplan. Back in the ring, that gets two for Kaun. Kaun slingshots Nick into a headbutt from Toa for two, and we take a break. Back with Matt fighting off Kaun and making the hot tag to Nick, and he runs wild with the knee in the corner. Double kicks on Toa in the heel corner and Nick rolls into a backstabber on Kaun in the other corner, and we get stereo dives for two. Toa stacks up the Bucks on his back for a double samoan drop because he’s freaky strong, and it’s back to the floor for a moonsault from Toa as well. Guys who can do feats of strength don’t need to be doing moonsaults. Back in the ring, Toa spears Matt and they hit a double-team cutter for two off that. Matt escapes the finisher attempt and dodges a senton from Toa, and Nick hits GOA with a dive to the floor. Kaun dodges the BTE Trigger once, but not a second time, and that gets two with Toa making the save. It’s a SUPERKICK PARTY on Toa, who barely goes down, and the TK Driver finishes Kaun at 14:00. Crowd seemed a little subdued for this one but it was the usual good Bucks match and they meshed well with GOA. ***1/4.

Afterwards, Big Stoke and FTR join us on the big screen, and they’re cheering for the Bucks next week because they’d love to beat them one more time.

Meanwhile, Brody King celebrates the biggest win of his career after Dynamite.

Kris Statlander joins Renee to announce the stips for her title match with Thekla on Dynamite. But Thekla runs in and spears Stat right out of her fancy dress, setting up a whipping while the Sisters of Spooky hold her down. So we still don’t know the stip, although I’m pretty sure Thekla is getting that belt regardless. And indeed, after she recovers, Kris makes it a strap match, which makes sense. Also this was kinda hot, I’m just gonna say it.

Meanwhile, Kyle Fletcher talks about his quest to regain the TNT title, but Okada interrupts and tells him to make himself known tonight so he can also be a champion. Like Okada.

Scorpio Sky v. Kevin Knight

Well this is somewhat random. They fight for the lockup and trade wristlocks to start, but Knight drops Sky on the top rope after some showboating exchanges and dropkicks him to the floor. We take a break and return with Knight missing a splash, allowing Sky to make a comeback. Sky High powerbomb gets two. Sky with a neckbreaker for two. Knight comes back and goes to the top, but Sky brings him down with a superplex for two. Knight with a rana and springboard clothesline to put him down again, and he goes up again with the UFO splash for the pin at 11:34. This was fine, but Sky is showing his age and slowing down a lot. **1/2

Meanwhile, Hook announces that he’s the acting captain of the Opps while Joe is out.

Mina Shirakawa v. Viva Van

They trade takedowns as the crowd is pretty split here. Viva gets a cravat and takes her down into a straitjacket hold, but Mina fights out and hits her with a rolling elbow. Viva sends her to the apron, but Mina slingshots back in with a splash for two. Mina works on the knee and tries the figure-four, but Viva kicks away from it and they trade chops. So this match actually highlights an issue with having the announcers at ringside on a taped show, as you can see them on the hard cam side and they’re clearly not actually doing commentary live. Mina goes up with a sling blade from the top, which looked really sloppy, and he hits Viva with kicks and rolls her into the figure-four to finish at 5:38. Meh, this was an AEW Dark match or something. *1/2.

Wheeler Yuta & Marina Shafir v. Zayda Steele & Dante Martin

Jon Moxley joins us on commentary as Dante hits Wheeler with a dive right away, but Marina kicks Steele down. Marina ties her up in a leglock and gives her a spanking, but Zayda cradles for two. Over to Yuta, who slams Zayda behind the ref’s back. I heard Yuta is the guy who invented Liquid Glass for Apple. He’s the worst. Over to Dante, but Marina trips him up and Yuta dropkicks him to the floor for more punishment from Marina. Back in, Wheeler with a german suplex for two as we take a break. Back with Wheeler fighting with Dante on the top rope as Moxley reveals that Yuta’s hair is 100% real, like a newborn baby deer. Yuta with another german suplex for two and he gets some elbows as the crowd boos the Danielson reference. Mox: “Oh he invented elbowing someone in the face? I didn’t realize that.” Zayda gets a tag and hits Marina with a Thesz Press and neckbreaker, and she goes up with a crossbody that Marina catches. And she turns it into the Mother’s Milk to finish at 8:45. More or less an extended squash to lead up to the haircut match in Australia. *1/2. Wheeler threatens to go all Brutus Beefcake on the losers, but Toni and Orange make the save.

Meanwhile, our new British tag team get into a bar fight and decide to become the Brawling Birds.

Meanwhile, MJF welcome the challenge of Brody King because his back is against the wall and that’s when he excels. Man, I know MJF is killing it in the ratings and it’s too soon to change the title, but this Brody King thing has real mainstream reach and it might be worth capitalizing on it if possible.

Thekla v. Brittnie Brooks

Thekla slugs her down and does the spooky spider walk before hitting the spear for the pin at 0:30. Poor Brittnie also takes a whipping with the belt afterwards, so hopefully she got paid well.

Parking Lot Fight: Eddie Kingston, Ortiz & the Rascalz v. Bryan Keith, Big Bill & The Grizzled Young Veterans

So they’re on top of the parking lot at the hotel with a ring of cars to play with, and Bill tosses a brick at Wentz and smashes a car window in the process. Ortiz puts Gibson under the hood of a car and slams that on him. Yeah I’ve been there. Wentz moonsaults off a limo and Xavier dives onto Bill, but he gets caught and slammed onto the trunk. And then Bill tosses Xavier over the limo as we take a break. Back with Keith and Xavier having a hammer fight, and they all head into the limo with some suspicious smoke in there. Did you know that the Rascalz smoke weed? Not many have heard that about them, I’d wager. Bryan Keith emerges from the limo and he’s apparently a lightweight, so the Rascalz drop a trash can on his head and superkick it. More shenanigans on the car as Bill chokeslams a Rascal onto the windshield and GYV hit the other Rascal with a Doomsday Device off the car. But Eddie Kingston shows up to make the save after not really factoring into the match so far, and they suplex Bill on the roof of the limo. GYV double-team Eddie and choke him out with scarves after a low blow, but Ortiz saves. This brings out Isla Dawn to help the Vets with a lead pipe, but then Myron Reed takes care of her and kidnaps her I guess. And Eddie DDTs Drake on the roof of a car and pins him to win. Making it an eight man didn’t really help the match and it was just a lot of stupid bumps and not much of a match. **

Meanwhile, Roderick Strong continues to deny that he’s part of the Conglomeration, despite the magnanimous gestures of Mark Briscoe.

TNT title: Tommaso Ciampa v. Claudio Castagnoli v. Roderick Strong

Ciampa dumps Claudio and trade chops with Roddy to start, but Roddy gets dumped into the arms of Claudio and dropped on the apron. Claudio trades forearms with Ciampa, but Roddy returns, so Claudio stacks them in the corner and hits them with forearms. Strong fires back, but Ciampa gives them a double inverted DDT. We get another slugfest with Claudio and Ciampa and Claudio suplexes both guys at the same time before they all head to the floor and brawl out there. Claudio presses Ciampa way into the air and drops him on the announce table as we take a break. Back with Strong slamming Claudio off the top and then dropkicking Ciampa on the way into the ring, and he makes a comeback with a backbreaker and tiger driver for two. Into the Stronghold on Ciampa, but Claudio breaks it up with forearms and then suplexes both guys again and runs wild on them. Ciampa catches Claudio with a draping DDT and the Angel’s Wings for two. He sets up the knee, but walks into the Giant Swing, which Strong breaks up. Claudio puts him down with the uppercut for two, but Strong hits Claudio with knee strikes for two, but Ciampa hits his own knee strike on Strong and pins him to retain at 11:47. Good main event. ***1/4.

Afterwards, this brings out Kyle Fletcher, who still covets the TNT title, and challenges Ciampa to a title match on Dynamite to settle things.

Well, after last week’s great show, this one kind of settled back into the usual level of “OK” that this show occupies. Obviously next week’s Grand Slam Australia should be great again, but that’s probably where I’ll stop doing this show again and leave it in the capable hands of Niz.