The SmarK Rant for Coliseum Video Presents Monday Night Raw: Prime Cuts

– This is a tape from 1994 that showcases the highlights of RAW from 93-94.

– Opening match, Intercontinental title: Shawn Michaels v. Marty Jannetty.

Shawn was stupid enough to challenge ANYONE to a match, and Marty answered. Marty gets a couple of quick rollups to start. He clotheslines Shawn out, baseball slides him, and then hits a pescado. Crowd chants “Marty”. Shawn runs and Marty tosses him back in. Superkick from Shawn misses and Marty hits an armdrag and flying headscissors for two. Backdrop and Shawn gets tossed over the top. He grabs the belt and takes off, but Mr. Perfect stops him and chases him back. Janetty slingshots him back in and tries another headscissor, but Shawn drops him on the top rope. Rights in the corner and Shawn drops a knee on him. Chinlock from Shawn, and Marty escapes, but Shawn dropkicks him down again. He tries another, but gets caught and slingshot into the corner for a two count. Jannetty with a flying elbow and powerslam for two. Flying bodypress for two. Atomic drop, but Shawn reverses, and Marty reverses for a rollup for two. Shawn reverses that for two. Superkick, and Shawn mouths off Perfect. Perfect tosses his towel at Shawn, and Marty cradles for the pin and his only major singles title. This match got ***** from Meltzer and won Match of the Year in 1993. 1 for 1.

– Razor Ramon v. “The Kid”.

See, this skinny jobber called the Cannonball Kid got squashed by Doink one week, then came back as the Kamikaze Kid and squashed by Mr. Hughes, so this week he’s just The Kid. Ramon smacks him around in the corner and biels him halfway across the ring. Blockbuster suplex. Ramon whips him to the corner, but misses a charge and (in one of the most famous moments in wrestling history) the Kid moonsaults off the top and pins him. Thanks to this, Ramon turned face, and the Kid was redubbed the 1-2-3 Kid. And today, of course, he’s known much better as X-Pac. 2 for 2.

– RAW moment: Doink dumps a bucket of water on Bobby Heenan.

– King of the Ring qualifier: Doink v. Mr. Perfect.

They had fought twice before to no decision, and this is the rubber match. One Doink hides under the ring while another sprays Lord Alfred Hayes outside. Doink’s old music was so great. Doink tosses Perfect with his own towel, but Perfect does the same to Doink. Slugfest. Perfect does the kneebreaker thing and a spinning toehold. He wraps the knee around the post and we take a commercial break. Well, it’s tape, so not really, but we come back two minutes later with Doink in control. Hennig counters a fireman’s carry takedown with a headscissors. Classic Heenan quote: “Doink is like Jello — there’s always room for more”. Perfect goes back to work on the leg, then applies a freaky looking figure-four. They fight outside, and Doink wraps Perfect’s arm around the post, then goes to work on it. Hammerlock slam. Man, Bourne is ON here. Another break, and we return with Hennig making the comeback. Doink takes a spill to the outside and Doink II runs in and hides under the ring. They switch places while Bobby denies it’s happening. Doink II (Steve Keirn) of course gains control, but puts his head down and gets Perfectplexed for the pin. 3 for 3. Doink beatdown results. Crush makes the save.

– IRS v. PJ Walker.

IRS spent weeks mocking Ramon about losing to the Kid. About 30 seconds in, the face-turned Ramon wanders out and distracts IRS, allowing Walker to get the pin. The match wasn’t quite as famous…oh, but you probably know Mr. Walker by another name. He was repackaged with a dumb gimmick and then sent to ECW…as Justin Credible. Cool, huh? 4 for 4.

– A behind the scenes look at the technical side of RAW.

– The Crush-Savage Peace Summit.

Crush has the heel goatee and Mr. Fuji with him, so you know it’s a heel turn. CRZ and others can give you the full rundown of this feud, but it’s a great one. Bobby Heenan stirs up shit, just to be himself. Crush runs down Savage in a great heel interview, and Savage asks him to calm down and dump Fuji. Crush accepts the proferred handshake (after much cheering from the crowd) to a big pop…then wipes out Savage when he turns his back. Heh heh. Yokozuna and a beaming Cornette join the fun and drop a few Banzai Drops. Savage bleeds from the mouth for fun. 5 for 5.

– A RAW moment: Shawn cuts an interview outside and gets into a brawl with Mr. Perfect, who proceeds to dump him on a conveniently placed car, breaking the windshield in the process. Great bump.

– WWF title match: Yokozuna v. Crush.

Why are they showing this out of order? Anyway, this is the match that caused the problems between Savage and Crush. They should recycle Crush’s music from this period — it STILL kicks ass. The crowd sings the national anthem just to piss off Yokozuna. Crowd is rabidly behind Crush. I (and others) still maintain that if Crush had been properly booked at this time (ie NO HEEL TURN) then he could have been the successor to Hulk Hogan, easily. Crush controls with power moves and a Sting splash, but the second one misses and Yoko comes back. We’re clipped to a Crush comeback as he clotheslines the champ down. A shoulderblock off the top gets two. Crush goes to the top again, but Fuji hits him with the flag and Yoko runs through his finishing sequence — belly to bellies suplex, Hulkbuster legdrop, and Banzai drop for the pin. Crowd dies. Yoko drops another buttdrop out of spite. Crush is still moving, so he does it again. Tatanka tries to make the save, but that just pisses Yoko off so he does a fourth one, just to teach him a lesson. Randy Savage finally runs in to pull Crush out of harm’s way. Another great segment. 6 for 6.

– The official Summerslam contract signing. Jim Cornette makes his debut as Yoko’s “Official American Spokesperson”. Cornette reveals that the contract Luger signed contained a clause stating that Luger gets exactly one shot at the title. 6 for 7.

– RAW moment: Doink is fighting Randy Savage. Savage crawls under the ring and produces the Macho Midget.

– Tag team title match: The Steiner Brothers v. the Quebecers.

This is Province of Quebec rules, as written by Johnny Polo. Titles change hands on countout or DQ, piledrivers and top rope moves are illegal, and throwing an opponent over the top is illegal. Basically it’s a parody of all the dumb DQs in the NWA. Why would the Steiners ever sign this match? Jacques gets powerslammed by Rick right off the bat. Pierre comes in and gets Tigerbombed by Scott. Dropkick gets two. Pierre comes back with a clothesline off the second rope for two. Rick comes in and tries a piledriver, but of course Scott warns him in time. We take a break and return with Jacques getting dumped to the outside. Pierre comes in and gets dominated by the Big Bad Booty Daddy. The Steiners trade off on a half-crab. Jacques breaks it up twice but the Steiners don’t sell. Johnny Polo wanders out, making his debut as the manager of the Quebecers with a Canadiens jersey that reads “We’re the Quebecers Jacques and Pierre and I am Johnny”. Yes, it all fit. He was way funnier as Polo than he is as Raven. We take another break and Scott gets caught with a cheap shot and double-teamed. Good stuff. Wicked legsweep/clothesline combo, for one. Scott hits a nasty looking DDT on Jacques and a pier-six erupts. The Quebecers hit their finisher — the Boston crab / legdrop combo, and another pier-six erupts. Scott double clotheslines the Quebecers and makes the hot tag. Another pier-six and Scott hits the Frankensteiner, but Jacques makes the save. Johnny Polo baits Rick into going for the hockey stick, which Scott gets and nails Jacques for the DQ….giving the titles to the Quebecers. Well, the ending was cheap, but it was within the defined rules. 7 for 8.

– RAW moment: Bobby finds two people in the front row, and the man proposes marriage…after Bobby asks the woman to hold his dirty hankie.

– 20 man battle royale, with the finalists fighting for the vacant Intercontinental title.

Lesse, we’ve got Savage, Tatanka, Giant Gonzales, the MVP, Rick Martel, Razor Ramon, Mabel, Diesel, Marty Jannetty, Bastion Booger, 1-2-3 Kid, Adam Bomb, Bam Bam Bigelow, Jacques, Pierre, Owen Hart, Jimmy Snuka, IRS, Mr. Perfect and Bob Backlund. Of these guys, 7 are in WCW right now, and only 3 are still in the WWF. Everyone gangs up and knocks the Giant Gonzalez out early. Standard battle royale follows. Diesel gets Mabel out. IRS gets dumped by Ramon. Jacques almost dumps Razor while he taunts IRS, but Savage makes the save. Kid gets tossed by Booger. Big Poochie charges Perfect and gets dumped. We take a break and come back with Martel backdropping Snuka out. Bigelow dramatically tosses Perfect. Jannetty makes a blind charge at Adam Bomb and goes bye-bye. Tatanka does the same and suffers the same fate. Astonishingly, MVP is still in. Savage flicks Booger over the top. Bigelow gets dumped by Ramon and we go to break. We come back as Owen kicks MVP over the top, then gets tossed himself. We’re down to Savage, Adam Bomb, the Quebecers, Rick Martel and Razor Ramon. Quebecois double-team Ramon while Martel & Bomb take on Savage. Savage fireman’s carries Bomb out of the ring, who is then dumped by the Quebecers, leaving Ramon against Martel and the tag champs. They slap him around for a while, but a triple dropkick doesn’t work. Ramon goes after all three, but they beat him down again, taking turns dishing out the punishment. However, the old heel miscommunication knocks the Quebecers out, leaving Rick Martel and Razor Ramon as the winners. Good match. 8 for 9.

– Intercontinental title final: Razor Ramon v. Rick Martel.

Decent but cookie-cutter match, which Martel controls for the most part, until Ramon makes the comeback to claim his first Intercontinental title. Three more would follow. About 13 minutes long, and it’s late and I can’t be bothered with the play by play. 9 for 10.

The Bottom Line: If you weren’t around for this period and haven’t seen this stuff before, rent this tape! Great, fun stuff all around and a couple of classic matches to boot. Can’t ask for more than that.